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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim
The official "purim is over and no one brought us mm" thread
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pond user




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 26 2016, 9:03 pm
OP I real feel for you. It sounds very painful and I have no words of wisdom to make you feel better about it. BH my family are blessed with many friends so If I am one of the people who didn't give you here's why:

This year I prepared 4 jars of dried fruit and nuts and that was it! We gave jars to dh's sister, parents, and brother and our mitzvah was officially done.

We didn't drive anywhere aside from our Rav and one friend who has special needs. Anyone who came to our door with MM recieved carefully recycled MM from previous doners.

I think people have forgotten that it's the act of giving SOMETHING to all their friends (at least those who take the time to come to your door) rather than giving FEW expensive and extravegant MM.

PS - my parents who receive 10s of MM each year due to the nature of their work, always appreciate the MM which contribute to their very large seudah. Not the chocolates, cellophanes, bows and candies; but the veggie sticks, baked deserts, cold cuts or sandwiches. - just thought I'll add that in Wink
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amother
Plum


 

Post Sun, Mar 27 2016, 12:15 am
I guess we do things differently. We give m"m through the shul to our neighborhood friends and through the school to the teachers.

We give our homemade m"m of real food to a small list of relatives and old friends who appreciate our cooking and sense of humor. We get very few m"m for various reasons.

We spend a lot more time delivering m"m for the children, although we limit those in quantity and distance for the sake of our sanity. The kids only want to give and get pure junk unfortunately.

So our Purim haul includes way too much junk food and very little else. But everyone who received our m"m expressed appreciation of both the food and the "theme" so we're happy. It's often one of the few times a year that we see our old friends or less immediate relatives because everyone is usually too busy, so it's really nice to see them on Purim even if it's only briefly.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Sun, Mar 27 2016, 8:27 am
Not assuming everyone has friends or "group" -- though wish it were so. That was for people who say they have too much junk or who can't or don't want to keep up with the "demands" or "expectations" for list etc for those who don't yet have those relationships then I would direct my energies to mitzvah project chessed and give to older people, hospitalized, nursing home, someone who may have"less" than myself or who would really appreciate the effort of the actual mitzvah.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Sun, Mar 27 2016, 10:30 am
amother wrote:
How about all your "friends" getting together to make the Purim seuda and you not being invited?


Yes, that was us this year. However we decided to help friends who were doing a kitchen Reno with 4 small children and invited them. It was also my fathers birthday and I wasn't going to see him over Shabbat so I was happy that we worked things out so well!!
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Chana Miriam S




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 27 2016, 10:39 am
Let me just say that I apologize. This year, I literally gave out ONE mish loach manot, and it wasn't even what we made up for people, and THAT was only 12 pkgs.. I got a last minute order for two labour intensive main courses for a seudah and worked all night getting them done for a 9 am deadline. I slept until 1:30 and then had to cook MY seudah shlishit. At 3:25, I had to take dd to a job interview. At 4:30, I had to pick her up from said interview. I just could not finish the mm and deliver them plus get ready for seudah. So, I am sorry you didn't get mm from me. It isn't personal. I took some to my Shabbat hosts and to my melave Malka hosts. But by then, they weren't mm anymore. The one I did give out was a piece of handmade gravlax and hamantashen that I told someone that I would share with them. When they delivered me some mm, I gave them that. And thank god I did because otherwise I'm not sure if I would have done the mitzvah.
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amother
Mint


 

Post Sun, Mar 27 2016, 4:49 pm
We have a large family b'h and it's impossible to give to everyone so we cut it down to the bare minimum. With traffic being a nightmare too, we barely make it to our seuda as it is. We currently give to parents and siblings, neighbours that give us, and our kids teachers.

We also give to a non-religious neighbour and obviously give back to those that give us but friends are completely off the radar unfortunately. Our list usually totals around 30 MM. DH likes to give to one friend that is also a relative and they agreed to give each other on Shushan Purim due to time-constraints. A neighbour of ours also returned one on Shushan Purim. Purim is just one day and a very very hectic one to boot.

I understand the feeling of having nothing by your door. It hurts. But as long as you received some in return that's definitely something.
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supermamma




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 29 2016, 12:22 am
I'm so sorry you felt hurt..I don't know what community you are in or how old your kids are but in my neighborhood most pepole with a house full of kids go around on purim just to immediate family & the kids teachers. that alone can take hours & if you have a seudah to prepare & serve after there just isint any time to go give friends. also if you are on the Shul/neighborhood list & people allready paid to send you a group shalach manos many people downsize & don't double give. I'm not saying any of these are the case in your situation. just offering another perspective why possibly more people didn't come deliver to you.
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 03 2016, 2:29 pm
People are very busy with their kids, their grandchildren, and the seudah.
Don't take it personally.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Apr 04 2016, 12:32 am
andrea levy wrote:
... gravlax ...


thanx to google I now know it's really food & not the gravel from your driveway with a chaser of ex-lax
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