Boss sitting shiva, what to get her?

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Orchid

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 5:09 pm

Her mother passed suddenly and unexpectedly, and I would like to give something more than a card. Any ideas?

shoshiesavannah

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 5:14 pm

A meal you know she likes or a donation to a charity she is fond of or her mother was fond of.

Amarante

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 5:18 pm

My experience is that co-workers make a donation to the charity specified by the bereaved or even if not specified, I have given to a charity relevant - I.e. if cancer.

Again, in my experience, unless one has a more than work relationship, generally food is in the form of a basket of fruit or baked goods rather than a meal. Often this is sent by the department.

pause

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 5:31 pm

An avel is not allowed to accept gifts.

amother

Orchid

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 5:33 pm

pause wrote:

An avel is not allowed to accept gifts.

Right, I guess I should have specified, not really a gift, but more like a good basket of something. We did sponsor something on her name, but it seemed a bit more impersonal. We are also neighbors.

m in Israel

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 5:38 pm

Usually there is someone who coordinates meals for the aveilim -- maybe find out who it is and see if they need a meal sent.

Otherwise like previous posters said, fruit baskets/platter or bakery items or a donation in the zchus of the niftar are all typically done.

amother

Silver

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 8:25 pm

I have a parent who just got up from shiva.

Meals are appreciated, but they are usually arranged pretty quickly. What's also helpful is fruit platters or finger foods that people can nosh quickly between visitors. Some people brought cake or rugelach or a soup or a selection of egg/tuna/veggie wraps.

Donating to tzedakah is nice, especially if it's one near and dear to their hearts.

This close to Pesach food might not be as appreciated because no one wants too many leftovers. Although maybe you can offer a meal after she gets up when she is overwhelmed with both grief and Pesach preparations.

Does your boss have young children? Can you offer to take them out or do a carpool or just let them hang out in your home if they need a break?

Page 1 of 1