What to bring when being a guest for a shabbos meal?

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amother

Mint

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 4:53 pm

We are a family with young kids, we sometimes get invited to young families with little kids also. When we get invited for a shabbos meal do I bring something? I never know what's expected! I always ask if I can bring it make anything, they always say no. I should still ask though right? We are going to someone's house this shabbos, what should I bring, if anything?

Faigy86

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 4:57 pm

Fruit is always nice even without checking beforehand. When you are asking while making the arrangements, you can definitely offer to make a salad/kugel/dessert if you want. If you offer something specific, there is a better chance that your offer will be accepted. (Obviously barring situation where they don't want other food brought in due to allergies, hechsherim, right now, crumb/pesach concerns etc)

Mimisinger

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 5:02 pm

In my community, everyone always asks. Sometimes, if you ask something specific, they'll tell you what to make. If they say no, you should bring dessert. It's a game that everyone plays.

pointyshoes

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 5:03 pm

I would bring a bottle of wine or some nice parev mints

Raisin

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 5:19 pm

I host a lot and people often bring things like: wine, pareve chocolates, candy platters, fruit. A dessert or salad or side dish is also great if you have similar kashrus standards.

Honestly I don't care if people come empty handed but it is definitely accepted etiquette to bring something.

People also bring flowers and chatchkes but I much prefer edible gifts. Unless it is tulips. I like tulips. And I don't need any more challah covers, gorgeous as they are.

mille

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 5:22 pm

I always bring wine when my hosts say bring nothing, or sometimes a sensible dessert like chocolate chip cookies.

tichellady

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 5:49 pm

I bring wine or a bubbly non alcoholic drink if they are not wine people, or a box of fancy sea salts.

I do not bring dessert or fruit unless asked, since I don't like when people bring dessert after I have baked dessert. If you do bring fruit please bring it all ready to go I really don't like when guests hand me a melon to cut up- I don't want to cut a melon!

Rutabaga

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 8:38 pm

I always offer to bring something when I go out for a meal. Everyone always says no and then I have to insist that I would really like to bring something. I always ask what would make their life easier - fruit, salad, cookies, kugel? Then they tell me what they would like. It's a dumb social etiquette game.

You can also bring something for the kids to play with. But I think you have to do that before shabbos.

amother

Beige

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 8:59 pm

wine, fancy teas, chocolate, nuts, small candy platters, cookies.
you don't must brink something but it is really nice to do so.
you were right to offer to make something but most times when I ask people say no.
sometimes it helps to ask about a specific thing you can make but in my neighborhood it's unusually to contribute to the actual meal. we just bring one of the above.

tichellady

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 9:35 pm

When I offer to make something people usually say yes. Maybe different communities are different.

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