S/O nonjew coming for seder BASH

momof2+?

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 9:40 pm

I just feel the need to say that I've been on this site pretty often for the past 6 months or so...and never did I read any posts that people were speaking so rudely, just not nice and mean mean comments to each other. I'm surprised to hear members on this website bashing each other so bluntly on such a website. Would you speak in this manner if the people you were talking to were your neighbours and you were having this conversation face to face while sitting outside on a Shabbos afternoon?

MitzadSheini

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 9:55 pm

momof2+? wrote:

Well said. Even if (especially if) it's the internet.

WhatFor

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 9:56 pm

Sometimes I read comments that are so inflammatory that I just choose to believe that the poster is just a guy trolling for reactions, and ignore those comments.
I was once discussing Imamother with a woman I knew and she was like, "Oh, yeah. I used to go on that site and make crazy comments just for fun, just to see the reactions." Mad

(I have no clue what name she used and she sounded like she hadn't visited in a while.) I tried to explain to her that there are real people on the other side of the screens....Not sure if she cared or was paying any attention.
There are articles about this online, though. Trolls are often people who are bullied in real life or have no friends, so they get off on making an impact on other people online. Sometimes they're hard to ignore, but best thing to do is generally to just ignore the troll. (It can be really hard though, especially when attacks are personal.)

momof2+?

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 10:11 pm

Coffee Addict wrote:

Welcome to the internet Wink

I know the internet. I just thought that this website was different. A larger percentage of these posts are supportive friends (anonymous ones, but oh well...) encouraging women to stay strong, stick up for themselves, improve their marriage, and giving tips on just about everything... and these same people can speak in such a mean way...

and just so you should know:
I'm not talking about any person in particular. I haven't been a member long enough to make connections and remember which username said what. Just speaking in general.

Last edited by momof2+? on Thu, Apr 07 2016, 10:15 pm; edited 1 time in total

gilamom

Thu, Apr 07 2016, 10:15 pm

Personally, no I wouldn't be so rude to a neighbor while having a similar conversation face to face, sitting outside on a Shabbos afternoon.

The voices in my head, however.... Twisted Evil

J/K, it was interesting to read, I've had non Jewish guests at my Shabbos and Yom Tov table since it's the only way to get BIL to come over and never thought to ask if it was okay.

Amarante

Fri, Apr 08 2016, 12:18 pm

In connection with the specific thread, the source of the responses was a post that was unbelievably mean spirited in my opinion in terms of attacking the "faith" of the original poster for wishing her cousin happiness. Certainly in the context of the original post, most people would wish happiness for a friend or relative. Perhaps I was reading into it, but my sense was that the cousin's life had not been free of heartbreak and she had found someone, at a later age, albeit one who wasn't Jewish, who was good to her and she was happy to have support and a loving relationship.

I mean realistically what else would you wish for a sectarian Jew for whom religion is not a concern except peace, good will and happiness. At this point in her life, why would anyone care if her SO was Jewish since I would doubt there would be children.

I didn't post on that thread but was taken aback by the cruelty of the post. And in very simple terms, I thought a basic tenet of Judaism is that this life is not one in which we should suffer which distinguishes it from many other religions in which "joy" and "happiness" are not part of the life. Hell - or at least what we are taught about "hell" is also quite a bit different than Xtian view of "hell" in which "sinners" burn and suffer forever.

Embedded forever from high school history was that most puritanical sermon - Sinners In the Hands of An Angry God

[picture removed, if you have the need to see what it was, google the last line written above- Yael]

livinginflatbus

Fri, Apr 08 2016, 5:10 pm

I agree with the op. Even though this is the Internet there are live breathing people reading this and looking for answers. For some it's their only place where they can vent and get answers. Rudeness and sarcasm can sting a lot , even over cyberspace