Have you ever... | Imamother

amother

Lavender

Tue, Apr 12 2016, 5:11 pm

Because of the recent threads that have mentioned this.
Have you ever locked yourself in your room to take a break while your kids needed you [they weren't doing anything dangerous, but were kvetchy or wanted attention]? Do you do it on a regular basis? How long? Where is the line between taking a quick breather and neglecting your children?

ra_mom

Tue, Apr 12 2016, 5:26 pm

I've given myself time outs if child is having a tantrum that is going on for half an hour / they are not calming down no matter what and I feel like I'm about to lose my cool at said child.

PassionFruit

Tue, Apr 12 2016, 5:35 pm

I do. Sometimes if I tell my kids I need to nurse in my room, or I stay in the bathroom a few extra minutes to read. Such is the life of a busy mom. As long as no one is really hurting/doing something dangerous, I think it is ok to let the kids fend for themselves for a few minutes, especially if you set them up with an activity beforehand.

lfab

Wed, Apr 13 2016, 1:45 pm

Yeah, I have to admit that I have. Not often, and not for long (5 minutes max) but sometimes Mommy just needs a bit of space to breathe. I'll tell them I need to go change, or go to the bathroom and then stay in a few extra minutes. I wouldn't do it if I thought they weren't safe, and if I have an infant at the time I take them into the room with me so the others don't accidentally hurt them. Taking 5 minutes to breath and calm down is not neglectful. I think it crosses the line when a child really needs something (not just whiny or needing attention) and a parent ignores them for an extended period of time. I try to teach my children that parents are people too and have needs just like children do. And sometimes a parent needs to temporarily put their own needs first in order to be able to properly take care of their children.

amother

Turquoise

Wed, Apr 13 2016, 3:32 pm

I don't leave young children alone to play unsupervised, but I will delay taking a child out of a crib in order to go to the bathroom in peace.