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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
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amother
Pewter
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 Wed, Apr 13 2016, 7:59 pm
When I was a kid my babysitter asked me to "nurse" on her. I was about ten.
When I was a teenager my a boy next door used to stand outside my window at night and once he caught me totally naked!
Plenty of cat calling too.
Now I'm old and fat, no problems anymore.
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naturalmom5
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 12:30 am
I'm old now and living in Lakewood over 20 years. When I was in my 20s I took the f train to work daily . I remember being groped at least once or twice a week
One time when I got to the place other people were laughing and pointing at my head .when I looked in mirror , there was zera in my hair.
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chani8
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 1:01 am
| amother wrote: | I guess you just don't have enough experience.
It happened just as I described. |
I believe you. I'm sorry that happened to you. You were having a baby, a c-sect, and that Creep rubbed himself on you while you were birthing your baby. OMG!! And no one noticed or if they did, they did nothing about it. Ugh!!
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chani8
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 1:07 am
| amother wrote: | | actually I found her post offensive. As the victim of real zxual abuse I think it is horrible to compare possible one time harassment to the plight of people who are truly survivors. Also, when you make every little thing into zxual abuse you dilute the meaning of the word and cause harm to the real victims. |
People who've experienced s-xual abuse to any degree, even 'only' s-xual harassment, are our sisters, who now can understand how horrible something much worse could be. If 'just that' made them feel so terrible, they can understand how what happened to you hurt you so badly.
If you are getting stuck on the misuse of specific terminology, that is nothing to get offended by, as not everyone knows the differences between the terms. We can educate, as you did.
Last edited by chani8 on Thu, Apr 14 2016, 1:18 am; edited 1 time in total
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chani8
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 1:15 am
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Two zxual harassment experiences. An Obgyn fondled me in his office (I was 16). As an adult, a female obgyn told me she was screwing me while she was doing a pap (this was here in Israel).
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amother
Orange
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 4:35 am
I had two story's;
When I was a teenager there was this 14yrs old boy (more or less) Walking very close behind me, I thought he was scared of someone. But I did not feel comfortable. So I moved to the side and he folowed right behind me.All of the sudden I Felt a big pinsh in my behind! I was very shocked. My first reaction was asking him while crying what he want of me.He just continued to walk.
I was married with two children and went to Israel for Succos. I was meant to meet someone in Center 1 one late evening. I took a taxi there. He figured out that I am a guesst so he started asking me questions on our comunnity where I come from. I was still quite Naive at that point and I thought he was really interested in Yidishkeit. But he very cleverly stired the convesation to the worse topics. I kept on telling him that I don't want to talk to a strange man about such things, or if he really wants to know more he should talk to a rav...
But he was more clever than naive me (at that point not anymore I learend my lesson the hard way) and he pulled me back to that convesation telling me how we miss out on the most fun things in life and telling me off all the dirty things they do. Things I never dreamed off! I got out of his car shakking scared...
Now a days I would not talk to a driver anymore. But if something like that would happen again I would make him drop me off in middle and I would report Him.
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amother
Turquoise
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 1:47 pm
This happened to me several times and to several degrees. I was groped on the NYC subway once. Another time, a man in the subway station exposed himself to me. Both times I was in my late teens - early 20's.
But the time that I remember most and that is the most a cautionary tale was that I was molested by my friend's older brother when I was a little girl, probably about 8. He was watching his little sister, me and my younger brother, and he invented a game where he tackled us. When he tackled me at one point he put his finger in. He didn't tear my hymen (I know this from my wedding night years later) but he did make me bleed. I never discussed it with anyone but avoided him from then on.
I have heard numerous other stories like this where an older brother did something to his sister's little friend. As I said, a cautionary tale.
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Ruchel
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 2:41 pm
What do you consider?
I've had a guy put his leg against mine in the subway. I saw it more as a crazy/perv than feeling "s-xually harassed". Cultural.
I once had to go to security because a guy was following me.
In India there are guys who look at you and touch their, huh, over their pants. I've still not understood that one.
I've had a group of "borderline" boy teens ask me if my breasts were real (= not surgery). rofl...
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amother
Burlywood
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 3:04 pm
I had guys say a lot of inappropriate things as I walked by or approach me more times than I can count, although this happened much more before I got married and put on a mitpachat. (USA, not New York)
I had guys bump and that's kind of annoying because you're pretty sure it's on purpose because of how they are looking at you but not 100%
I was groped when I was 13 in a store by a stranger.
I quit a job when I was about 16 because a guy who said he was going to 'get' my father started hanging around where I was working.
I was stalked by a very highly recommended yeshiva guy I went on a shidduch date with. He used to follow me around, wait by car, show up at work, call me at all hours of the night. I changed my phone number but didn't quit that job. I got my boss to walk me to and from my car every day. My father did complain to his Rosh Yeshiva but that achieved nothing.
I was stalked by a homeless bum who hung out on the street where I worked when I was 17. He would come into the store and declare that I was the reason he was homeless and he was going to 'get' me. I started carrying a weapon at that point although I was underage. I called the police but they told me they couldn't really do anything and they didn't want to keep coming out when they couldn't do anything. Because technically he hadn't actually committed a crime other than trespassing.
I was jumped by a guy in shul when I was 5.
I actually never had a problem when I lived in Israel, and I much less cautious and used to take buses and trains everywhere at all hours.
I could go on, but it's depressing. I see it as an unfortunate part of life and laugh inside when I hear people say that the Arabs are so uncivilized because of harassment like this because they really live in a bubble and think this doesn't happen in the USA. People are the same everywhere and a certain percentage of men are perverts.
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amother
Orchid
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 4:32 pm
Not really a stranger.... but he might as well have been...
My first shidduch date ever was when I was 18, freshly bak from sem, all frum, with a 25 year old guy.
We hit it off really fast. He showered me with attention and gifts and he was this really successful popular frum yeshiva guy. The type that we were totally infatuated with each other 2 weeks in.
Anyway this guy kept hinting he wasn't sure abt me cz I wasn't frum enough, my skirts weren't long enough etc. Then he leaned over and touched me! I was completely shocked cz I was fully shomer negiah.... would never have crossed my mind to act otherwise. But once I got over the horror, I liked it. It went on for another week or so, fluctuating btwn him telling me I'm not frum then him breaking shomer, kissing me etc.... I was so confused and upset and I felt so guilty. Also he would feel my body around for "fat spots" even tho I'm thin, and pinch them, measuring the fat. It was so weird. It ended as soon as it began, a week later, and never heard from him again (I ended it cz he said he didnt know if I live up to his standards of frumness and I didn't want to be played with) . The whole thing was like 2.5 weeks.
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amother
Wine
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 9:58 pm
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I was walking in the street and a guy exposed himself. It took a couple of minutes after I passed him to realize what he had done. It was so weird to me cuz I was so naive and sheltered I had no idea that people to that. I couldn't understand why somebody would want to show off something so ugly.
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