3.5 year old terrified of dogs

miami85

Thu, Apr 14 2016, 7:36 pm

I know there seems to be a "Jewish fear" of dogs. My DH and I don't love dogs, but we're not scared of them. My 3.5 year old is TERRIFIED of dogs--even the little tiny ones that couldn't do a thing (my neighbors have this tiny little thing and he runs crying hysterically in the opposite direction when it comes out of our building). As far as I'm aware nothing has ever happened to him with a dog--not in mine or my husband's care. For the record he's also scared of squirrels too. What can I do? I mean it's a little crazy.

Thu, Apr 14 2016, 7:57 pm

No it's not "crazy." Some kids are naturally fearful of dogs. In my family, those are the same kids who tend to be a little cautious in general and may have other fears. In general, they outgrow the fearfulness but retain the cautious personality. These aren't the kids who will leap off the sofa/tree/roof (depending on age).

amother

Navy

Thu, Apr 14 2016, 8:10 pm

Well... Yesterday I was driving down ocean parkway and I couldn't believe it I saw an about 18 year old walk into the street during a green light because she saw a dog coming who in my opinion was not very large! I felt so bad for her couldn't believe how she was risking her life because of the dog her poor kids one day... But I wouldn't worry about such a small child just wanted to share that story perhaps try to desensitize them slowly

spring13

Thu, Apr 14 2016, 10:07 pm

Help him learn more about dogs and animals in general, so that they'll be less foreign and scary. Get this book and others from the library and read with him. See if you can find a video with live dogs in it and watch it with him so you can point out things like how a kid in the video behaved with the dog. Go to a pet store with dogs and watch them play, pointing out how cute and fun they are.

If you have an opportunity to meet a friendly dog (or other animals), teach him how to "say hello". First ask the owner if it's ok - if a dog isn't friendly, they'll tell you not to come close. Then hold out your hand (in a fist, palm down) so the dog can smell you - that's how you "tell a dog your name", by letting it catch your scent. Dogs can smell so well that every person Smells different to them. After the dog smells you, try petting its back. Start at the head, then stroke back towards the tail, never the opposite way - petting the wrong way is uncomfortable.

I get that a lot of frum people are naturally scared of dogs, but that can be worked on, and it's smart to try. Running into the street to get away from one (when you're an adult!) is sad for so many reasons.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Apr 14 2016, 10:36 pm

I love teaching kids about dogs. When I lived in the US, I planned on going to all the frum schools, and teaching dog safety to the kids.

When you see a dog approaching, don't panic if the owner has it on a leash. If the dog is off lead, that's something different. Stop, hold your ground, but don't talk or make eye contact. The dog may come up and sniff you, but if you don't move, it will get bored and leave.

The WORST thing you can do, is to scream and run. Basically, you are behaving exactly like prey, and a dog's instincts will kick in and treat you as such. This is how kids get mauled.

When approaching a friendly person with a dog, stop at a respectful distance and ask if you can pet. Have the dog approach you, not you approaching the dog. Do not pet the head! A dog will get frightened that the child is going to poke him in his eyes or nose, and might snap. Always pet the sides, along the flanks, slowly and in the direction of the fur. Just a few seconds, not too much longer.

Before you practice petting though, make sure your child knows the rules about not running and screaming, because this is a lifesaver. I agree that starting with books and videos of puppies is best. Talk about dogs who saved their owner's lives, or help blind people, or help the police look for bad guys. Videos of agility trials are great, because it shows the dogs doing fun tricks.

PM me if you need more advice!

miami85

Thu, Apr 14 2016, 11:36 pm

My son is pretty intelligent all-around, but this fear seems totally irrational. He's been scared of other things-from the "bugs in his bed" to squirrels, to a point where he was terrified of my in-laws cats(he's ok with going there now) but the dog fear is so much more intense--real fear. Every time I see a dog I tell him how it won't do anything to him. Especially with my neighbor's tiny little-pup, that its harmless. He just cowers behind me, or sometimes won't move--I think if he could cross the street, he would. My neighbors often take their dog for a walk around the time I pick him up from school and he's aware of this as well and he'll make calculations about hurrying home/coming with me to pick up my baby at a different neighbor--it took me a while to realize what he was doing, but he's trying to avoid the dog--this tiny "yippy" thing. Since he's pretty verbal and has his own way of thinking about some things I've tried asking him what happened? What will the dog do to you? But he'll just say "because I'm scared". And yes, I know that dogs get set off by fear so I don't want to harbor a fear that will make it worse for him. My own personal "fear" of any dogs is big ones--b/c I was once chased by a dog, but I don't let on to him about that,there's no aversion. My son won't get even CLOSE to a dog for me to get him to touch it.