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Forum
-> Fashion and Beauty
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amother
Mauve
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 Thu, Apr 14 2016, 2:51 pm
I dress very tznius all year and in the summer I wear my below the knee skirts with nude tights. This has confused people at my work and also other men in general who have stared at my legs especially if I am sitting down cross legged. Also my female non-Jewish coworkers have commented that this is not in line with my other modesty standards.
Question: in order to avoid this unwanted attention, should I wear longer skirts or different colored tights? Or another solution? I'd prefer to continue to wear knee length skirts because that is what I wear all year and it looks more professional. Should I change my tights color? White seems too nurse-like and black is yucky for the summer. Any suggestions? Should I do a shade of nude that is very different from my skin tone? I'd prefer not to go with thicker style nude tights but maybe that would work.
[The point is not whether nude tights are tznius or not. The point is what to wear in order not to be stared at, because the women in my workplace wear pants so bare legs is an oddity.]
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jj1236
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 3:00 pm
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I'm confused. So you normally wear black tights all year and now that you wear nude stockings people are commenting? Why does anyone think it's their business to comment on your clothing especially since you're dressed totally appropriately? I say keep wearing what you want and they'll stop commenting or staring soon enough.
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amother
Mauve
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 3:06 pm
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True but I have a serious job and if my boss is staring at my legs it makes me uncomfortable and I can't focus on our meetings. Also, I don't want people to stare at me. Yes during the winter I wear black opaque tights and nobody stares. [Similarly I threw away a top that was apparently too clingy because people were staring at my chest. Even though I thought it was ok, apparently public opinion felt otherwise.]
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thunderstorm
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 3:20 pm
| amother wrote: | | True but I have a serious job and if my boss is staring at my legs it makes me uncomfortable and I can't focus on our meetings. Also, I don't want people to stare at me. Yes during the winter I wear black opaque tights and nobody stares. [Similarly I threw away a top that was apparently too clingy because people were staring at my chest. Even though I thought it was ok, apparently public opinion felt otherwise.] |
It sounds a bit strange , I never had anyone comment on my "modesty levels" in any of my jobs...regardless if I worked with frum jews or non jews. I think you developed a complex of some sort and you are thinking too much into it. This should not affect your serious job at all , even if someone stares.
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Iymnok
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 3:23 pm
You could try a color that's a couple shades too dark.
Or get them too big so they sag 
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gold21
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 3:36 pm
| Bizzydizzymommy wrote: | | It sounds a bit strange , I never had anyone comment on my "modesty levels" in any of my jobs...regardless if I worked with frum jews or non jews. I think you developed a complex of some sort and you are thinking too much into it. This should not affect your serious job at all , even if someone stares. |
Your boss stares at your legs?
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amother
Mauve
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 3:38 pm
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Actually, a couple of shades darker sounds like a good idea. IY"H I will try that.
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thunderstorm
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 3:42 pm
| gold21 wrote: | | Your boss stares at your legs? |
I've had male coworkers or supervisors stare at what I was wearing..I dont know if they were necessarily staring at my stockings...but yes, I've had people stare and I just didnt react. Especially in the spring and summer time. I was never left to feel uncomfortable.
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cm
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 3:47 pm
By "nude tights" do you mean sheer pantyhose? IME no one in the secular world stares at the hose per se, because it is normal, although less popular now that many people go bare-legged.
When I wear nude-colored opaque tights, I have gotten a few looks because it is unusual. Mismatched tights or sheer hose (too dark or clashing with your outfit) will draw a glance or two and will look less professional.
Yes, sometimes an exposed leg will receive a quick look. Personally, I prefer longer skirts to unflattering "suntan" pantyhose.
I hear what you are saying about "modesty standards." Some of our rules are cultural and do not make intuitive sense to others, so some people may be baffled by your choices. That does not make your choices wrong, but be prepared to answer an occasional friendly question.
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Maya
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 5:17 pm
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If your boss stares at your legs so much that you can't have a normal meeting with him, and if others comment about your level of modesty, I'd say file a s-xual harassment complaint with the HR department of your workplace. Then continue to wear whichever kind of pantyhose you'd like.
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gp2.0
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 5:27 pm
You shouldn't sit cross-legged with a knee length skirt. It gives everyone a view of your thighs (and often the crotch.)
Also, is there a reason why your only options are black, white or nude? There are a million colors in between. Navy, burgundy, etc.
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naturalmom5
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 5:29 pm
In theory , listen to Maya.
Sometimes its not simple and cash be difficult to prove especially in a small place without an hr dept.
You need to choose what's more important to you. If you want to be a boiro park chic with the "uniform " , then grow a thick skin and don't let them intimidate you
Otherwise, wear an ankle length skirt or stuck to grey or black in a summer weight denier.
I personally never understood the lure of nude outside of weddings and very formal occasions..
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Maya
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 5:32 pm
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My point was that the opinions of her boss and coworkers should not be a determining factor in her dress, especially if she's dressing modestly and appropriately.
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gold21
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Thu, Apr 14 2016, 8:08 pm
| Bizzydizzymommy wrote: | | I've had male coworkers or supervisors stare at what I was wearing..I dont know if they were necessarily staring at my stockings...but yes, I've had people stare and I just didnt react. Especially in the spring and summer time. I was never left to feel uncomfortable. |
Sorry, I was unclear, I quoted you before to agree with your comment that the OP is overthinking it.
I was addressing the OP-
OP, your boss stares at your legs? (And thats not creepy?)
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Ms.MaryMack(inblack)
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Fri, Apr 15 2016, 5:33 am
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Why don't you wear sheer black tight s
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Ruchel
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Fri, Apr 15 2016, 8:53 am
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They don't get used to how you dress? that they stare every time? Have you asked them why? I'm not from a sue happy, reporting, everything is harassment culture, but I would tell them to not tell me how to dress and not let it pass.
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legalos
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Fri, Apr 15 2016, 12:43 pm
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Definitely go a few shades darker. I also made the switch recently to nude tights for the spring/summer and I feel conspicuous at work when I wear my midi skirts because I only wear opaque black in the fall and winter. I am pretty fair so honey colored tights make it obvious that I'm not bare-legged.
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