Am I overprotective?

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Apr 25 2016, 5:00 pm

Op here.

Thank you for sharing your opinions - I feel more confident that I'm doing the right thing Yes, I agree it's important to also incourage independence. Yes, he spends time with other adults but people I totally trust & he feels safe with. I have two teenage step daughters who were at the lunches as well an on occasion they also left the table to watch him but we don't leave him alone or with other little ones - I don't think it's safe, especially in an unfamiliar environment. I also don't ask my stepdaughters to watch him, just if they want to - but that's for a different discussion, so it's mostly me watching him. DH will also come to "relieve" me and watch DS so I can sit with our hosts a bit. I wonder if the hosts find this rude or if they understand?

Regarding cosleeping, I wasn't asking directly about that piece. In my op I was focusing on active playtime. But since several people commented on that - yes, I agree he should be sleeping in his own bed now - I'm working on it... I just totally weened him a couple weeks ago so moving him to his room is the next phase. I'd love advice on how to make that transition too.

amother

Lemon

Wed, Apr 27 2016, 10:48 am

I am a mother of a large family (Yeshivish) and I have a BIL and SIL who have an only who was born in their 40's.

Two year olds can get in to dangerous things and I would get very nervous if they were not supervised so two year olds can't roam.

In regards to my BIL and SIL their daughter is a teenager already (young teen) and they still baby her. Very involved in what she is eating. Take her up to bed. If she is a little tired at the seder don't make her complete it (she is over Bas Mitzva and healthy). They treat her like I treat my 8 year old. My niece has a very hard time maintaining relationships with kids her age because of this in my opinion (her classmates are not interested in playing with someone who acts like an eight year old). She plays with my younger kids (who are between 5 and 8 years younger then her) when she is over not with the ones who are similar age to her. I have a child who is the same age as her and the difference in maturity levels is scary.

In a nutshell you supervising your 2 year old is being a good parent, co sleeping at that age is perfectly normal (I did it all the time).

I would just make sure as your child gets older to make sure that you treat him at the age he is not five years younger.

Enjoy your 2 year old it is such a fun age and they grow up so quickly.

sweetpotato

Wed, Apr 27 2016, 11:00 am

OP, is your son closer to 24 months or 36 months? A just-barely-2-year old is, in most cases, very much still a baby, developmentally, even if they have the physical development to climb, run, roam like an older kid. They don't much understanding of risk or danger, but have limitless curiosity. So, in short, yes, they need more or less constant supervision unless in a very controlled environment. However, as your son gets closer to 3, he should begin understanding and learning to discern some risk and safety (within reason). There's a definite philosophy in child development that if an adult is constantly following a child around on the playground, catching them if they start to fall off the slide, lifting them down anytime to they climb too high, always there to be a physical safety net, then the child doesn't learn to negotiate basic risks on their own. Sometimes, kids like this can be overly cautious or overly risk-taking. (This is not to say you let your child experiment with matches or actually dangerous behavior.)

amother

Slateblue

Wed, Apr 27 2016, 12:11 pm

Op here.

To the poster above who asked about his age: DS is closer to 2 - he turned 2 in Feb.

Yes, I agree that it's important that my parenting is age/developmentally appropriate! That's why I'm asking these questions. I don't want to be so overprotective where it inhibits his healthy development. I actually have (later) teenage and a 20 yr old stepchildren who I'm trying to teach the same lessons as my 2yr old! Like cleaning up after you make a mess. These kids were totally "spoiled" - mother and maid did everything and now she's gone and I'm left to teach them lessons and life skills they should have been taught LONG ago. So I'm careful with DS not to repeat that... Yesterday, I took DS pony-riding. I was nervous to let him go alone but he wanted to do it alone (strapped in, it's for little ones). I figured if the started to cry I could always take him off but he did great and wanted to go on a second time. I was so proud of him yet as he rode away on the horse, I teared up a bit ... he's not a baby anymore, such a big boy!

Edited to say, he's tall for his age and very verbal and physically (I.e. can his a pitched baseball) so it could be that people think he's older than he is.