Ruined my nails :(

amother

Yellow

Thu, Apr 21 2016, 6:48 pm

Vent:
Okay, so the nails are probably not the core of the issue. I'm not some princess who gets all upset about my nails. In fact, I rarely have time to get my nails done. But I feel really bad about my image right now, I'm not where I used to be fit-wise. I almost don't want to go out. Monday night I went out and used my lunch break at work to get a french mani, spent the extra money for gel, just so they would last (because regular never lasts more than three days for me).
Today, DH asked me for last second help with some heavy duty scrubbing things, I asked if we had gloves, we didn't but he told me to use a bag (which I did- triple layered.) Anyway, almost one whole hand is ruined. I'm so frustrated. We're going to ILs for Seder and his whole family is going to be there. I feel disgusting. I wish I could just not show up and be around his family.
Okay, also, earlier today, I was feeling so out of shape, and passed by a mirror, and I was mentioning to DH, "Omg, I look pregnant." He was like, "I know. I noticed. Don't worry, it's okay. We'll do some hiking over the chag." Crying

I was so hurt. I almost wanted to tell him but then I realized he really didn't realize how hurtful it was and I was also too hurt to get into a discussion about my weight right now. Like, I seriously didn't want to talk about it. Ugh, now I'm crying as I write this. He means well, before anyone goes off on him. He's really just a totally clueless guy. Even if it's true, you don't say that.
I really hate how I look right now and wish I didn't have to go see anyone, much less his entire family (even though they're really nice). I used to be so in shape, and then I got so busy with work, and now I can hardly stand myself. My doctor keeps telling me I'm a normal weight range but I know how I can look and I feel like a cow right now and I'm really chubby for myself.
And now even my stupid nails got ruined. Of course, when I told DH about it, he was like, "Don't worry. It's okay, I don't care how your nails look." Like, it's not about what YOU think. I almost want to spend the time tomorrow on erev chag to go get my nails redone but that's just crazy for erev Pesach and probably not even practically possible. Plan B would just be to go into hibernation until I get in shape again.

amother

Orange

Thu, Apr 21 2016, 8:51 pm

I know exactly how you feel. Its not about the nails. I always get so self conscious when we meet up with my sister in laws. They are all gorgeous and skinny..I always compare myself to them, and come home in a bad mood, always wish we didn't have to eat together..but I try so hard to not tell dh how I feel because he never knows what to tell me...he'll be like "oh please" instead of " I married you cuz I think you're beautiful "etc...I think you should definitely go back to fix your nails and smile non stop once you're there...good luck!

imasinger

Thu, Apr 21 2016, 9:07 pm

Oy. Think of it this way. Would you rather have the burden of a few pounds to lose, or the burden of being clueless in what one says to a spouse?

I actually have a line in my pesach notes about not wasting time and money getting nails done. If it's not the cleaning and scrubbing, it's the washing up after the sedarim and lunches that ruin them.

Spend the money on a new inexpensive necklace instead, that's my motto. Wink

esther09

Thu, Apr 21 2016, 9:39 pm

OP I know exactly how you feel. There's something about having my nails done (even though I'm soooo not high maintenance like that...) that makes me feel put together even if I'm not feeling my best. Try to make sometime tomorrow to get them fixed.

Also your doctor says you're in a normal weight range?? That means you're not overweight. Regardless of how you look, keep repeating that fact to yourself. You look much better than you are allowing yourself to feel. Try to focus on relaxing and enjoying yuntif. Good luck!

amother

Yellow

Wed, Apr 27 2016, 4:24 am

Thanks, everyone for being so nice and supportive Smile

Update- the next morning (erev chag) DH told me that I had worked really hard and should take a few hours off to go get my nails done and he even went with me to find a place available...(we're in his hometown right now). He was so sweet and I had them fixed.
Seder with his family was really nice. We did go on some gorgeous tiyulim and I got some jogging in, so even though I'm not where I want to be physically (oh, and my nails are totally ruined again) I'm feeling so much better.
Happy chag to everyone!

Miri7

Wed, Apr 27 2016, 12:25 pm

Glad to se the update! Your DH sounds really sweet and mine sometimes says the wrong thing (confirms that I look pregnant). At those times I gently say in a kind of joking tone of voice "honey, you can't say that! You have to tell me I look great!"

One thought on a poochy belly: you may have diastasis recti which means the abdominal walls have separated. You can check yourself - Google it and you will see videos on how to do it. If you do have it, doing physical therapy for it will help a lot. It will reduce the pooch and strengthen your core which is important for your back and whole body.

amother

Yellow

Wed, Apr 27 2016, 1:28 pm

Miri7 wrote:

Thanks so much, Miri7! I know, I do have to remind him. At the time, I was just feeling so dejected that I just didn't even want to talk about it at all....Maybe I'll just randomly bring it up to let him know, to avoid waiting for it to happen again.

I'll google some more, but I'm not sure that's my issue right now. I haven't yet been pregnant (although I think it's still possible.) I mostly have a below-the-belly-button pouch- the rest is not really protruding (just chubby Smile

) I think my issue is that a lot of my clothing is more fitted and therefore too tight to wear right now. So I'm mostly wearing my very loose fitted clothing that kind of hang, nothing is particularly flattering right now, but that's life. Hopefully I can whip it into shape or get better clothing. One of that is going to have to happen pretty soon.

greenfire

Wed, Apr 27 2016, 1:33 pm

well not sure why you went ahead and scrubbed after doing your nails ...

if you were leaving why did you need to do the oven ?

on the other hand not sure how you or anybody else did your nails before pesach

I personally gave my mother a manicure & pedicure yesterday - soaked her feet in epsom salt while I did her hands ... she is happy & I am none less for the wear because it was time vs monies & she felt pampered in pink

also rule of thumb is not to tell/ask your husband if you look fat ... it will always amount to no good - either he is lying or is telling the truth that you don't want to hear

amother

Yellow

Wed, Apr 27 2016, 1:41 pm

greenfire wrote:

I thought that because it was gel it could handle it. And we scrubbed certain things because we're back home for part of chag. I didn't ask him if I looked fat- would never do that. I was bemoaning my weight while passing a mirror and he chimed in that he noticed. Smh. Men.

But my nails are ruined again. Can I stop by for an epsom salt soak and a quick touch up?

greenfire

Wed, Apr 27 2016, 9:56 pm

amother wrote:

. I didn't ask him if I looked fat- would never do that. I was bemoaning my weight while passing a mirror and he chimed in that he noticed. Smh. Men.

amother wrote:

... I was feeling so out of shape, and passed by a mirror, and I was mentioning to DH, "Omg, I look pregnant." He was like, "I know. I noticed. Don't worry, it's okay. We'll do some hiking over the chag." ...

you mentioned/bemoaned ~ he responded he noticed

I imagine he wouldn't say it out of the blue

amother wrote:

I thought that because it was gel it could handle it. And we scrubbed certain things because we're back home for part of chag. ...

But my nails are ruined again. Can I stop by for an epsom salt soak and a quick touch up?

if we were close by - sure

since you are rough on nails, you should splurge on essie gel setter and save monies and time

http://www.essie.com/nail-care......aspx