Frum life in Palo Alto/San fransisco

amother

Navy

Sun, May 01 2016, 7:42 pm

My husband is considering a very good job offer in the Bay Area. I am wondering what kind of life my children would have there. My kids are still very young (under 5 yo) but we'd be moving for at least a few years.
We are modern but still very frum. Not sure what label to use as we aren't really an in-the-box family.

I would love to hear from mothers familiar with these communities.

doctorima

Sun, May 01 2016, 8:03 pm

San Francisco's Jewish community is very, very small. Most likely you'd be happiest in Palo Alto, or possibly San Jose. Just be aware that the cost of living there is astronomical, so make sure DH's salary will let you live reasonably. Here are web pages for each of the shuls:

https://www.emekberacha.org/
http://www.amechad.org/

amother

Bisque

Sun, May 01 2016, 8:24 pm

You can buy a garage in San Francisco for about half a million dollars. It is insane. The Jewish community is very very very small. There are a few chabbad families. A few BT type families. The rav. A few old people. Not frum Russians. Not frum Israelis. Thats it. Literally if you walk into shul you will see barley a minyan and maybe two woman covering their hair.

Palo Alto has a girls school and a bit more happening.

Here, call them: http://www.jsn.info/ jewish study network of the bay area

tichellady

Sun, May 01 2016, 8:25 pm

Berkeley may also be an Option. It's much more modern orthodox than Palo Alto which has more of a mix. The shul in Berkeley is very friendly and warm, similar to HIR in Riverdale, the shul in Palo Alto is also friendly. I don't know about the school because my family lived there when their kids were little. Childcare prices are very high.

amother

Pewter

Sun, May 01 2016, 8:47 pm

Where is the job? The "bay area" is pretty big and commuting is pretty hard. You definitely need to take into account where your husband's job is.

The "bigger" communities will probably be found in Palo Alto or in Berkeley/Oakland. "Bigger" meaning you can find an orthodox shul that doesn't have a problem getting a minyan and have school options for your kids. Palo Alto and Berkeley both have eruvin. I am not sure if anywhere else does. San Jose has a kosher market, as does Oakland (which also has a butcher). Kosher items and meat are also available at a Palo Alto market (butcher visits there on a regular schedule).

Oakland is also home to Oakland Hebrew Day School, a modern orthodox school with a very diverse student body. Closer to Palo Alto/San Jose is South Peninsula Hebrew Day School. As another poster mentioned, Palo Alto also has a girls' high school program.

I second what the above posters said about housing prices and cost of living in general. While prices vary among bay area towns, if you are looking to buy a house near a shul in Palo Alto, San Jose, Oakland or Berkeley, you are definitely looking at homes in the $1m range, with some being more expensive than others. Childcare and kosher food are also very pricey. Many people move away because the cost is simply too burdensome.

amother

Vermilion

Sun, May 01 2016, 9:05 pm

As someone who lived there years ago I can say you can commute to/from any of the following: Oakland, SF, Berkeley, Marin county etc. could be long but doable. but not San Jose or Palo Alto and the others... Some do it but it's tough.

AFAIK Oakland Hebrew day is very MO but has a slight mix. Also what about Hebrew academy in San Fran?

SRB

Sun, May 01 2016, 9:07 pm

Hi. I grew up in the SF "Bay Area". I now visit family there often. Most Jews in the Bay Area are reform or secular or conservative. There are very small orthodox communities in the areas mentioned above - they are all very spred apart so no one community is large enough to have a lot of kosher establishments like for entertainment or dining out. However, I do think there is enough to survive a few years while your kids are young and if your DH is making enough money to make it worth it - it is a very expensive place. I really like the modern orthodox shul/community in Oakland. It's diverse. They have a kosher butcher, bakery, and Teader Joe's for shopping but kosher restaurants open and close. Lots of people "eat vegetarian out".

I'm happy to tell you more but please tell us what city the potential job is in - the Bay Area is a large place.

amother

Vermilion

Sun, May 01 2016, 9:16 pm

Random but growing up there I didn't know too many frum families... All of you who lived there- were you frum then? I was and we left because of schooling eventually. No high school really... What did you do for school?

amother

White

Mon, May 02 2016, 3:51 am

I have a relative on shlichus there. (palo alto area) It is very very expensive. They rent but have to move house every couple of years, there doesn't seem to be long term rentals available. Their kids go to the local schools (they might have a local chabad cheder or they go to the regular school, I think a bit of both) and one of their older kids is homeschooled. For high school they send their kids away.

I live in a small oot community myself and I would say living in such a place is not a problem with kids under 10. Once they get a bit older you might need better school options but if you are just planning to live there short term I think its fine.

SRB

Mon, May 02 2016, 2:38 pm

I didn't grow up frum. I became frum after I left and moved to NY (in my own in early 20s). I had never seen a frum person before going to NY. I grew up reform in the Bay Area and went to public school. I now live in LA where there is a large community with resources and schools. I love the environment of SF Bay Area (so does DH) but really not enough there for us, and it's SO expensive. However, I do think if you have little kids and plan to leave before they are more influenced by the environment and your DH is making good money - it could work. However, you and DH have to be ok with the culture - its VERY liberal. Another issue I had with the area. But what city are you looking at?

amother

Tangerine

Mon, May 02 2016, 2:56 pm

All the people saying the Jewish community is "very very very small" clearly have no idea what they are talking about. San Fran has a very large and very active, longstanding Jewish community as does much of the Bay Area.

It may not have a young frum community like you are used to but it the city itself has an eruv, there are schools, many shuls (talking orthodox) including but not limited to Chabad, mikveh, always a few restaurants, very active hadassah , alpac etc... So to say the Jewish community is very very very small is just way off base.

When expanding to the Bay Area its whole mother picture with Palo Altos kolel community and surrounding communities....

amother

Pewter

Mon, May 02 2016, 3:21 pm

Tangerine is correct that the Jewish community in SF and the wider Bay is pretty large. It's just that the frum communities are smaller when compared with other major cities.

However, I do think that there is currently only one kosher restaurant in SF. The restaurants in Oakland and San Jose closed recently Sad

And I think that SF just has the Hebrew Academy for orthodox schooling. I could be wrong.

amother

Navy

Mon, May 02 2016, 5:39 pm

Thanks everyone who responded.

We are looking to rent in the Richmond district of San Francisco or Palo Alto. Both areas have an Eruv and that's a necessity.
Our kids would probAbly go to a Jewish preschool in San Fran or Sunnyvale school near Palo Alto.
I know housing prices are astronomical but what about food and other things?

Is therae a fair amount of other youngish (30.40 yo) religious people in these areas?

I would love any other information!

shaimac1

Mon, May 02 2016, 7:29 pm

Depending on the field that your husband is in, he may be able to find a better fit in another community! Maybe start researching other places with companies that focus on his job field! Good luck in your search! If you need ideas of great OOT communities feel free to check out https://www.ou.org/fair/communities/! Good luck!

teacherima

Mon, May 02 2016, 8:04 pm

Hi OP,

I live in Palo Alto now, and have been in the South Bay (Palo Alto, Sunnyvale, San Jose) for almost ten years. I am happy to help you with any information.

It is a small community, there is no denying it, but it is also a warm place. People really feel like a community here, since most people are away from family.

There are a range of options for kosher food: Ordering from LA, Pars Kosher Market, Luckys, and Mollie Stones. Many people comment that while we don't have places to eat out, there isn't much you can't find.

There is also a range of families from 20s-60s, a good amount of kids, and a whole range of the hashkafic spectrum.

If you have any other questions, be in touch via PM.

amother

White

Tue, May 03 2016, 1:49 am

shaimac1 wrote:

Lots of hi tech companies in that area. (Google etc) Not sure if you can find that anywhere else.

amother

Pewter

Sun, May 08 2016, 11:02 am

amother wrote:

The job is in San Francisco. We aren't looking for any other oot communities except those within close driving distance.

When/if we decide to accept the offer, I would love to pm you.

Thanks everyone

If the job is in SF then your best bets for commuting are SF, Palo Alto or Oakland/Berkeley.

Anywhere south of Palo Alto would be a pretty brutal commute, though some people do it. If you choose Oakland or Berkeley then BART or the Transbay bus are good options too. Many of the bigger tech companies have buses that run for their employees. They are really nice! Your DH can ask if his company has a bus. I know that several run buses to my neighborhood in the east bay and many people in the Oakland and Berkeley shuls work in SF.