DH doesnt like my gown :(

Iymnok

Tue, May 03 2016, 7:39 am

Do you like it because you like it or because the other ladies in the store like it?
I f
Have found that I can clarify for myself what I like by doing a bunch of google image searches and online shopping.
Make sure you like it a heck of a lot before making it into a fight with DH.

amother

Bisque

Wed, May 04 2016, 2:54 pm

OP here! Thanks for your replies, even the brutally honest ones!
A bit of clarification- I am not going to be 9 months pregnant! I am not even going to be in my third trimester. Ill be 6months and I'm really small. So its a small modest baby bump- not a huge protruding watermelon!
Also, the gown is not a super tight mermaid look as I may have made it seem. It is form fitting and flares out on the bottom but not in that very dramatic mermaid way.
(I tried to attach a picture of a similar shaped gown but it didn't work)
Then again its definitely not the typical empire waisted sheath dress. I just dont like the look of that for a siblings wedding!
Lastly, DH is not mad at all, it wont cause shalom bayis issues. Its just not his favorite style.... And that does make me a bit uncomf Sad

observer

Wed, May 04 2016, 3:06 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

The shapeless box look is horrible. I would only wear the look you are describing. A pregnant belly is beautiful. Not meant to be hidden.

There is a happy medium. I don't like the shapeless box, but what she is describing is quite distasteful, imo.

observer

Wed, May 04 2016, 3:07 pm

amother wrote:

It's not the size that's the issue.

sweetpotato

Wed, May 04 2016, 3:07 pm

You're going to get all sorts of opinions from the random strangers here on the internet. But this is probably all that's important to you:

1. Does the dress make you feel good and pretty? (What do YOU think, not the salespeople in the shop. Would you have bought the dress if you hadn't gotten that positive feedback from them?)

2. How much do you care about your husband's opinion? If it's important to you, then you probably wont enjoy wearing the dress as much if you know he doesn't love it.

3. Does the dress fit with your hashkafic vis a vis tznius? There are different views about concealing the body during pregnancy. There are some nice concepts about "hiding" the developing baby from people's gazes during this time. If it helps you to figure out whether the dress is right for you or not, you could get some guidance.

4. There's nothing objectively wrong with showing or even highlighting the "baby bump" during pregnancy. It just depends on what flatters you, and where you hold on that topic tznius-wise. It's certainly acceptable to highlight a small waist by wearing a fitted bodice; why can't one highlight the pregnant body in the same way? It's just taste, fashion and hashkafa that dictate. So figure out where you stand there, and decide if the dress is for you.

amother

Blue

Thu, May 05 2016, 10:41 am

sweetpotato wrote:

Why is your opinion more important than the others? Aren't you also a "random stranger here on the internet?"

sweetpotato

Thu, May 05 2016, 10:49 am

amother wrote:

Why is your opinion more important than the others? Aren't you also a "random stranger here on the internet?"

I wasn't giving her an opinion on whether she should wear the dress or not. I gave her some suggestions about how to come to a conclusion herself.

HonesttoGod

Thu, May 05 2016, 3:49 pm

I like the fitted maternity look especially if you are generally more petite.
In my opinion the baggy, empire waist just makes people look huge and balloon-like.

IMO he will eventually like how you look because you are his wife. He is not wearing it YOU are and YOU have to be comfortable and relaxed and like how YOU look. As much as we often hate it, salespeople do usually know what they are talking about. They won't tell you you look pretty if it doesn't suit you (unless they are cheap and bad at their jobs). I always ask the salespeople advice because they have seen others try it on, they know the style and how it should look.

I stressed for months to find a dress for my sisters wedding and I finallllly found something I wasn't terribly keen on but it was nice and everyone in the store was telling me how nice it was. Turns out by the wedding with makeup, heels and a wig-do I did like it.