ISO bad Father's Day Gift

madys

Thu, May 12 2016, 10:23 am

My husband is the worst gift giver. It's like he doesn't care and spends no time picking out a gift.

We're married 18+ years and over the years here's some examples of the gifts I've been given:

Nail Clippers
A bicycle seat
Lemon squeezer
Melon baller
I can't remember others right now, but I'm sure there are more.

After the nail clippers, we joke about it all the time with the kids and I thought he learned his lesson. This past mothers day, he gave me a bicycle seat. Seriously??? Did he actually think this was a good gift?? I don't even bicycle often. (I went once and complained that my tush hurt)

He seems to confuse a need with a gift. If I need something, just get it, don't wrap it up as a present!

When it's his birthday or fathers day, I spend hours picking out the perfect gift, and he always loves what I give him, and I get so much pleasure from seeing how happy he is with what I've chosen for him.

For Father's day, I want to give him a taste of his own medicine.

Ladies, give me some ideas of a horrible gift!!!!

PS, this is all in good fun and it will be taken as a joke

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, May 12 2016, 10:32 am

I saw a t shirt that says "World's Greatest Farter (I mean father)". I am totally considering getting that for my own father LOL

I mean, I don't think it's a bad gift per Se, because most men I know would find it funny (men love scatalogical humor), but you said you are looking for a joke and it is a bit salty.

madys

Thu, May 12 2016, 10:32 am

momX4 wrote:

A car key for an expensive car (if you can find one). That would be funny because there us no car, just like your bike seat had no bike attached.

That's actually very funny!! We plan on getting a new car for him after the summer!!!

HonesttoGod

Thu, May 12 2016, 12:15 pm

My suggestion is for you to write a list of gifts you really want (jewelry, pocketbook etc) along with company names and all and then tell him he has to choose off that list whenever it is gift giving time.

It doesn't sound like he is a bad gift giver at all rather he chooses cute things he thinks you will find cute and that you need.

My husband has bought me ice cream scoops and doughnuts for my birthday. I got used to his style of giving, it is a bit annoying but it is just not what he does.

You can buy him a "bad" fathers day gift but he won't necessarily "get it" he may just be insulted.

madys

Thu, May 12 2016, 12:35 pm

Good suggestions ladies!! Keep them coming!!

HonesttoGod - I see what you're saying. I don't really care what the gift it, as long as it's something he put time and effort into.

After the bicycle seat debacle, we had to go to barnes and nobel to get a review book for my daughter. He came with us and when we were checking out the cookbooks (something I LOVE to do) he picked out a cookbook for smoothies for me. Which was GREAT! We then went to the supermarket to get the ingredients to make some of them and it made the day so much better. He knows I love to cook and find new recipes, something like a new cookbook is so simple and easy!

I kinda want him to get a taste of his own medicine, and if his feelings are hurt, maybe he'll realize that my feelings were hurt so many other times too.

mummiedearest

Thu, May 12 2016, 3:40 pm

deodorant, toilet paper. a gifts certificate for a mani/pedi. when he opens it, tell him the gift is really a relaxed wife, and that he gets to watch the kids so you can go redeem the certificate. make sure he has to cook dinner in this time.

FranticFrummie

Thu, May 12 2016, 3:40 pm

OP, your DH sounds just like mine. He has great logical intelligence, but NO emotional intelligence, and no "theory of mind". He is incapable of projecting himself into someone else's thoughts or situation. He can literally only understand what would make sense to HIM.

I'm not diagnosing anyone as being on the spectrum, but it is definitely an Aspie kind of trait. You'll never change it. You'd have to rewire his brain, and even then there's no guarantees.

If your DH buys you things because you've mentioned once that you might need it, then that is wonderful. That means that he actually LISTENS to you, and remembers what you need, and wants to fill that need. That is his love language, and you need to appreciate that.

It's like when a cat brings you a dead mouse. The cat can't understand why you're not thrilled, when it's paying you the highest compliment a cat can give!

That said, I vote for giving him a really silly pair of fuzzy slippers. Wink

Rachel Shira

Thu, May 12 2016, 3:46 pm

mummiedearest wrote:

a gifts certificate for a mani/pedi. when he opens it, tell him the gift is really a relaxed wife, and that he gets to watch the kids so you can go redeem the certificate. make sure he has to cook dinner in this time.

I like this!

madys

Thu, May 12 2016, 3:49 pm

FranticFrummie - that actually makes a lot of sense - while I don't know about Asperger's, he does have OCD qualities.

How do I get him to see beyond "my wife needs xyz, so it will be her ....day present" and into "it's my wife's .....day. What is something nice I can get for her"?

So far, I really like the ideas of the keychain, nose hair clipper, slippers, and cheap pens (office supplies)

Any others??

amother

Taupe

Thu, May 12 2016, 4:03 pm

Wait a second I think the melon baller and lemon squeezer are very sweet. He does put thought into the gifts. He thought, she loves to cook, so why not get her kitchen gadgets. The bicycle seat, you mentioned how much your seat hurt. The nail clippers, maybe you mentioned that you need to get your nails done?
Your DH listens to you loud and clear, which is great cause most of them don't.
You want more "pamper me" gifts.
Maybe instead of saying how much your seat hurts, throw some hints about how much your back hurts and how you can really use a massage.
Maybe instead of saying you need to do your nails, mention how much you need to get your nails painted.
Throw some gift hints a few days before the event.
He does put thought into the gifts.

tichellady

Thu, May 12 2016, 4:21 pm

Just tell him what you want- issue will be resolved. I tell my husband exactly what I want and he gets it for me. We are both happy.

Some ideas: a pretty bag with tissue paper full of cleaning supplies,ingredients for dinner, a set of new batteries.

asmileaday

Thu, May 12 2016, 4:22 pm

I think a bad gift is really unfair. From what you wrote it seems like your husband is trying to match your needs when getting a gift and is putting some thought into it. Your definition of gifts is different than his.
So if you want to give him a taste of his own medicine you need to think what he needs or what he mentioned he likes etc...and buy that. Not just any random stupid gift.
But the problem is he might appreciate it and not see it as a taste of what his medicine tastes like to you, because he's not you!
I might be way off but these are the thoughts I got from reading your posts.