What to do?!?!?!?!?

amother

Cyan

Tue, May 17 2016, 11:54 pm

I was offered a job as a shadow around Purim time for this summer-girl is in her late teens/early 20s and will be my baby's mother's helper. Then, at the spur of the moment, the administration in the day camp she will be the mh in asked me to also do the computers/step-it-up/game room specialty head as well....

If I do both, I can come home with close to $X,000 BEFORE taxes which will be good for us as we are unsure what my dh is doing this summer as he has medical things to take care of so he may not have a good paying job for the summer....but, how do I do both? ask the camp director if I do all trouble shooting and go in and out of the activity every so often and it be more of a counselor run activity or tell them that I cant do the job and come home with only $X,000 BEFORE taxes....but, I REALLY dont want this girl's mother to find out I have been doing this job all summer and then not get paid as well....

What I did come up with is that I will go to camp early (camp starts at 8:45 so plan to be there to turn on the computers at 8:15) and then say to the girl at some point (possibly when my son needs a snack) that I am going to the bathroom, go check on the activities and come back....but I feel like it may seem a bit weird to her that every day at 10 am I am running to the bathroom....obviously the older grades I wont have to go as often but may have to go a bit more often when the younger grades go....

My husband wants me to take both jobs as he knows it will help financially but would want me to tell the mother about it. I get that but then I am scared that she will tell me its either I work for the camp OR for her, not both....

What should I do? only take the shadow job? take both the shadow and specialty?

Last edited by amother on Wed, May 18 2016, 8:47 am; edited 2 times in total

amother

Mauve

Wed, May 18 2016, 12:07 am

twogees wrote:

I feel like I will most definatly regret not taking both as it will bring in more parnassa as we need it...

Then you can definitely try to communicate with the mother of this girl. Reasonable, friendly communication is definitely a good path.

Think of it this way: You have short term parnassa goals, and long term parnassa goals. Your short term goal is your income this summer. Your long term goal is parnassa for years after that. By doing something that involved dishonesty and may very well be exposed, you are damaging your long term parnassa prospects.

Good luck, I know it can be very hard to decide when you have good opportunities which come with a big price!

oliveoil

Wed, May 18 2016, 12:08 am

twogees wrote:

What I did come up with is that I will go to camp early (camp starts at 8:45 so plan to be there to turn on the computers at 8:15) and then say to the girl at some point (possibly when my son needs a snack) that I am going to the bathroom, go check on the activities and come back....but I feel like it may seem a bit weird to her that every day at 10 am I am running to the bathroom....obviously the older grades I wont have to go as often but may have to go a bit more often when the younger grades go....

This is a terrible idea.

TwinsMommy

Wed, May 18 2016, 12:54 am

your main job is to shadow a late teen/ early 20's young lady.... (with special needs I assume?)----- and her main job is to be a mother's helper to you? I don't even understand the set up. sounds circular.

sounds like the two jobs could fit together nicely but you need to discuss with both parties what your schedule would entail and how each position would impact the other. I wouldn't decide one way or another unless both bosses are on board. If, truly, during working hours of the shadow job, you'd only need to leave for 5 minutes.... then it sounds ideal (most of the work would be in the evenings?) but I wonder if you're misunderstanding how much you'll be needed at that second job.

A couple of decades ago (geez I'm old) I was a school secretary and also taught part time in the school---- my teaching hours impacted my office work and I had to make adjustments as necessary and all parties needed to be on board. It wasn't my idea--- it was my boss' idea to have me teach--- it worked out well but I was certainly busy.

amother

Cyan

Wed, May 18 2016, 8:24 am

TwinsMommy wrote:

She is going to be a mh this summer and her mom/the camp didnt really want to give her s/o else's child with an 18 yr old shadow situation.....they decided on the mother/child route as to prevent this. I had no idea of this till AFTER I contacted the mother...

groovy1224

Wed, May 18 2016, 11:52 pm

Put yourself in the mother's shoes..how would you feel if you found out that your daughter's shadow had another job and didn't tell you about it? I understand needing the extra money, but there's a PERSON behind that paycheck, don't let it blind you.
Under no circumstances should you consider doing this without speaking with her. Come up with a realistic, reliable plan, and discuss it with her. She might not be okay with it, but at the end of the day you have to do the right thing, and if the money is meant for you, it will find you another way.

amother

Cyan

Thu, May 19 2016, 8:56 am

groovy1224 wrote:

I have to discuss other stuff with her regarding the job and will see how it goes.

teddyb

Thu, May 19 2016, 9:54 am

Definitely discuss it with her. Maybe she would be OK with this girl being your assistant? She could hold/watch your baby in the computer room while your there dealing with the kids. (If she needs a shadow would you even trust her with your baby alone like you were proposing? I probably wouldn't)

Maybe the mother will be agreeable, maybe she won't. Regardless just remember that parnosa comes from hashem and if he wants you to have that extra money then it will come to you one way or another. Its for sure better to deal straight with honesty and integrity. Good luck!

ValleyMom

Thu, May 19 2016, 10:33 am

It is imperative that the 20 year olds Mother be directly involved in the decision making.
Explain that you are struggling financially at this time and recently was offered a unique opportunity that you would like to discuss with her.

It seems like this 20 year old does NOT have significant developmental delay (she will be handling an infant...) that being said encouraging her to help younger children may be a terrific opportunity to start her 'resume'. I don't have all the pertinent details but perhaps a local day care would hire her as a junior teachers assistant during the school year once she has some experience working with children.

Ask the camp director if they would be willing to pay her a token salary so she can feel like a valued member of the staff.

Personally this sounds like a wonderful growth opportunity for her- as well as an extra source of income for you. You will continue to shadow her as she interacts with the campers in the computer lab.

It is amazing how Hashem helps us indirectly- sometimes we need to open our eyes and pay attention...