How to wean toddler who falls asleep by nursing

allthingsblue

Mon, May 02 2016, 6:02 pm

So now that you all have helped me cut down daily breastfeedings from 5 to 1, maybe you can help me finish it up!
My almost two year old only falls asleep by nursing. I need to nurse him for around 5-10 minutes and then I can put him in the crib. It's his routine, and when we tried to skip the feeding and put him in the crib, he cried hysterically like never before. I'd prefer not to let him cry unnecessarily. Is there any tear- free way for me to wean him?

Faigy86

Tue, May 03 2016, 9:58 am

Can you offer something instead? My DC was older, but we bargained on an extra song and 2 stories instead of milk. But that would really depend on your child if they are able to understand trading.

allthingsblue

Tue, May 03 2016, 11:38 am

No, my son is not able to understand that yet. I just ordered his favorite cartoon character stuffed animal. Do you think I can give it to him in his crib, and then leave the room without nursing him? I know he'll cry for a few days... Is that okay for me to do? Otherwise I can't imagine how he will ever wean

Faigy86

Tue, May 03 2016, 11:42 am

Can you talk about it a lot. No more milk. Mommy can't give you milk. Mommy can give you a hug. Mommy can rub your back. Mommy will come in to kiss you as soon as she finishes... It's hard going to sleep without his comfort, but he can learn to substitute something else.

pesek zman

Tue, May 03 2016, 11:56 am

allthingsblue wrote:

Of course it's ok to do that. Frankly it's amazing that you haven't done it Sooner. It will be hard because he will have to learn a skill that he's never had to before: how to fall asleep without a crutch. He will cry, loudly, for a long time. Not trying to scare you, but rather to prepare you. Make sure your spouse supports you and this plan because you will need support. You may need to distract yourself with something noisy (tv, radio, a shower) to dull the crying. Remember he will not be in pain but he will be very angry. Hang in there and remember that teaching your child how to fall asleep on his own is a gift you are giving him

naomi2

Wed, May 18 2016, 5:15 pm

of course he cried. its not the milk, its the special time with mommy in mommys lap. so maybe substitute milk with a book or song or massage but let him have that time in your lap.

allthingsblue

Wed, May 18 2016, 5:35 pm

amother wrote:

bump. OP, How is it going? Can you tell us what worked? How you managed? Tips.....

It worked!!! One day I decide this is it... No more...
I bought him a new stuffed animal which I have to him right before bed. Then I said shema and put him in his crib. He cried for ten minutes then fell asleep and slept all night. This happened for three days. Once he was used to not nursing at night, I began reading him a bedtime story in the rocking chair I used to use for nursing. Then I said shema, and told him I would lay down next to the crib until he falls asleep. He didn't cry, and he fell asleep after a few minutes.
This is now our routine- bedtime story and then I lie next to him for a few minutes. He never asks to nurse anymore! I love our new routine!

allthingsblue

Wed, May 18 2016, 5:36 pm

pesek zman wrote:

Thanks for saying this. Whenever I read about how it's terrible to let your children cry at night, I feel horribly guilty. But your post reminded me that I'm actually doing what's best for my child and teaching him independence and coping skills.

baschabad

Wed, May 18 2016, 5:42 pm

allthingsblue wrote:

Or... Her post convinced you that it's ok to ignore your maternal instinct of caring for your child's emotional as well as physical well-being.

IF you decide that your best decision right now is to let your child cry- fine. But that is not the only way to teach a child independence and coping skills. And while THOSE skills are a gift- the crying is not.

allthingsblue

Wed, May 18 2016, 6:56 pm

baschabad wrote:

Ok, I find this post to be unnecessary. I wrote above that I let my son cry for ten minutes at night for three days. I felt it was the only way to get him to wean. And now you have to guilt trip me? I wasn't asking for that. Thanks but no thanks.

pesek zman

Wed, May 18 2016, 7:09 pm

allthingsblue wrote:

Amazing!! Strong work momma!!

amother

Peach

Wed, May 18 2016, 7:09 pm

A two/year old child is not an infant. Mine all understood at 2 that I would be outside and come if they needed me but that we were going to have a sippy cup, rocking , and some snuggling and that's it. I don't think I did anything wrong by letting them cry for 2-3 nights (all it took me too). I would have gone in if it had continued (and probably did go in once to reassure some that I was listening), and 10 minutes was the max I could have stood it. My instinct to protect them from the world often came into conflict with my knowledge that I
needed to let them become increasingly independent. It's a balance and we each need to find the one that's works for our individual kids.

rydys

Thu, May 19 2016, 9:53 pm

Any suggestions how to do this for a nearly 2 year old who climbs out of his crib? There's no way to childproof the room-- he can climb up the bunk bed without the ladder!