How do you get your kids out of bed in the morning?

animeme

Thu, May 19 2016, 7:12 am

I have two elementary aged kids who will not get up. They are heavy sleepers, and once I finally wake them, they still won't get out of bed until I tell them we have to leave in twenty minutes. Then they start schlepping and kvetching about how it's late and barely make it out the door. Incentives don't seem to make a difference- they don't remember or process them until they've woken up enough to get out of bed.

Things that won't change:
1) We all have to leave at the same time. No natural consequences for being late here, because Mommy leaves for the day when they do, and takes them to school. Too young to be home alone, and nobody to stay with them.
2) I cannot lift either one of them, so there's no "I will take you in your pj's". They just refuse to walk.
3) I am the only parent home doing this.
4) They don't seem or be able to fall asleep earlier than they do now.

GRRRR.

salt

Thu, May 19 2016, 7:22 am

You say they can't fall asleep earlier that they do, but I can see that as being the only playing factor here.
Say it takes them an hour to wind down and calm down in bed till they fall asleep. So have you tried shifting bed-time an hour earlier? Maybe they fall asleep at 9 if they're in bed at 8, and they'll fall asleep at 8 if they're in bed at 7.
Or do you mean that whether they're in bed at 7 or at 8, they will still only fall asleep at 9?

What time do they wake up on Shabbos? How much extra sleep does it seem like they need?

animeme

Thu, May 19 2016, 8:18 am

salt wrote:

Or do you mean that whether they're in bed at 7 or at 8, they will still only fall asleep at 9?

This. Actually, with one of them, the earlier to bed, the later to sleep.

On Shabbos, that one tends to wake up around the time we usually walk out the door for school. The other one wakes about a half hour to an hour later. I have tried adjusting bedtimes, but it doesn't change much.

amother

cornflower

Thu, May 19 2016, 9:28 am

Try waking them up earlier. and if they complain or cant wake up. tell them that they can sleep for another 10 or 15 minutes, longer. when you wake them up a second time tell them that they had already slept the extra minutes.
Works for me,
Or this is something else I do. I wake them up half an hour earlier than I normally would,
which is not crazy early, I tell them that if they get out of bed now, they have time to eat a special breakfast or play a game on my phone, or ride their bikes or scooters while waiting
for the bus.

Nicole

Thu, May 19 2016, 10:50 am

I have one child like this. We used to have battle filled mornings. Its hard. I enlisted her to give me ideas of how to wake her. She suggested that I wake her 1/2 hour earlier. It seemed counterintuitive but it worked for the most part.
I know that they have to leave when you do but perhaps there can be a different natural consequence: of they're late, they only get a basic breakfast to go.

mha3484

Thu, May 19 2016, 10:53 am

I have a hard time in the morning and I found that I need to set the alarm for at least half an hour before I want to get up and let myself push snooze a few times. I set it for 6am but I like to be up between 6:30 and 6:45. DH teases me but if it works who cares right? Some people just need a lot of time to get themselves out of bed.

With a smaller child (5) I give a hot drink or put choc chips in his oatmeal if he can get up and dressed in a reasonable time frame. It works for the most part.

animeme

Thu, May 19 2016, 11:30 am

doctorima wrote:

Yeah, mine wake up way too early. Wanna trade? Smile

Nope. I did almost ten years with a kid who woke up for the day at 4:00. I guess the pendulum's currently swinging the other way.

I can try the early thing, I guess. They do respond better to "WAKE UP!" when I tell them I've been waking them for fifteen minutes already. Breakfast is definitely what loses out, but they just won't eat, and kvetch about it. That doesn't seem to change the behavior that next day. And grooming suffers too.

amother

Salmon

Thu, May 19 2016, 3:48 pm

My daughter is on the Guinness world record for being the most impossible person to wake up!!
So this is what I did when she was 7 and it's still going strong 3 years later.
(Of course we have better and worse days)

I bought her an alarm clock.
She sets it, snoozes, whatever time she chooses.
IM COMPLETELY OUT OF IT.

She has a time when she must be at the breakfast table all ready.
I don't care if she gets ready in 25 or 3 minutes. As long as she's on time.

We work with incentives, she gets a treat if she's on time.
Money, choco bar or privilege depending what works for you.

This is teaching her responsibility and making my life easier bh!

The Happy Wife

Thu, May 19 2016, 4:22 pm

I was totally like that as a kid. Such a deep sleeper, and sometimes my mom would try to wake me and I'd fall back asleep and really have no memory if her coming in. What helped me was having a REALLY loud alarm clock that literally made me jump up. It helped to have it go off at the same time every day.
Plus, the alarm does the work, not you.
If that doesn't help, maybe you can help them to sit up. I know you said you can't pick them up. But maybe of they are sitting up they'll start to wake a bit.
Good luck.

LisaS

Thu, May 19 2016, 4:27 pm

I have one night owl who is very difficult to wake in the morning. He goes to sleep each night in tomorrow's clothes so that in the morning he only needs shoes, bathroom and breakfast.

Around half an hour before he must leave I grab the covers, open the window, ask him to get up. When he still doesn't get up, I pull him out of bed, hand him his shoes and send him off to the bathroom. I don't find that waking him up earlier helps.

animeme

Thu, May 19 2016, 5:05 pm

Liking these ideas. Complicating factor- one of the kids is on a top bunk. I find myself often schlepping her out of bed to get her moving, but my back has decided I can no longer do that. The older one is easier to access but like a log.

LisaS, I am sorely tempted. Dd loves her nightgowns. Maybe I'll tell her that if she doesn't start getting up I'll make her sleep in her clothes instead.

anonymrs

Thu, May 19 2016, 7:08 pm

My kids are currently posting on imakid.com "How to get Mommy out of bed earlier in the morning". LOL, they are up at the crack of dawn and have many URGENT things to discuss with me at that hour. And I'm like, "Get back into your bed right now!! It's not even the morning yet!!!!"

LisaS

Sun, May 22 2016, 2:33 pm

Another idea: if your child has a chart then one item should be getting up after two wake-ups or being ready on time or getting up with the alarm, etc. All contingent on a motivating privilege or prize.