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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
My son was sent home
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amother
Red


 

Post Sat, May 21 2016, 11:42 pm
ds has gone to the bathroom on his own. and hes getting better and better. I do think he has some issue with this particular rebbe. I just dont know and understand this rebbe. I dont know how he deals with ds.

not sure what to make of this whole mess.
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TwinsMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, May 21 2016, 11:47 pm
he's only ever pooped once a day? so his xrays aren't showing new poops coming around impaction? I wonder how his RAIR is. Maybe his is more psychological than physical, then. I'm sorry you're going through this. We have a great "poop psychologist"--- her office is right in the suite with the GI specialists and she sees us at the same day/time as the GI specialist. Truly helpful until we realized we can't move forward with behavioral methods until we shrink the colon and get some sensation. We hit the "ok impaction is gone, let's wait for the colon to shrink" stage 3 years ago when she was 6 and just found out that even though she's down to once a day poops, we should have been xraying her a lot more than we have because megacolon is severe. Maybe you have a psychologist who specializes in enco near you.

No, a BOE eval doesn't help with the feeling of confusion and where to turn next. Our Friendship Circle has a mom's support group meeting I enjoy. I'm in Cleveland--- maybe you have something local like that? But we also have a moms of special needs kids forum here that's helpful.
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groisamomma




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, May 21 2016, 11:48 pm
This is beginning to sound like a much bigger problem than was originally described...
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amother
Lavender


 

Post Sat, May 21 2016, 11:52 pm
groisamomma wrote:
This is beginning to sound like a much bigger problem than was originally described...


Faithfully following the Law of Natural Progression of Most Imamother Threads...
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groisamomma




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, May 21 2016, 11:54 pm
amother wrote:
Faithfully following the Law of Natural Progression of Most Imamother Threads...


LOL Very Happy
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Sat, May 21 2016, 11:58 pm
TwinsMommy, I think you are confusing OP with all your jargon.

OP, if he's having issues with encopresis, he should definitely be under lots of specialists' care - including a GI doctor and a psychologist already (since it may be behavioral, especially with all the other behavioral issues you're describing).

It is definitely a good idea to get him evaluated ASAP. And have you found out if there's a medical reason for his encopresis, or are you just dealing with it?
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TwinsMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 22 2016, 12:03 am
I just assume fellow enco moms know that jargon. realizing the rest of you don't, I apologize. Smile

But yeah, that's why I recommend a psychologist who specializes in enco-- because a lot of parents do all the GI stuff but don't necessarily realize (took me years) that it can be all connected with behavior and other diagnoses (I wonder if my kid didn't have enco if she'd have ODD, for instance).
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amother
Red


 

Post Sun, May 22 2016, 12:26 am
no twinnsmommy I have no clue what your talking about. ds sees a behavioral therapist once in two weeks at the same place he sees a GI. its in chop. its the best I can get my hands on. trust me its the best care he can get. no he hasnt only pooped once a day.

all I am saying is he usually has his accident whenver that is and by then hes over. he usually doesnt have 2 accidents a day.

and I do see some progress in improvement with his enco. issue. yes he had the tube down his nose whatever that procedure is to clean out his impaction. hes doing better since then. some weeks are worse and some better.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 22 2016, 1:15 pm
I might just be projecting my own issues here, so take this with a grain of salt.

When I feel stifled and feel like I don't have options, I want to do something to feel like I'm in control, and I want to "break free". For example, when DH was driving me crazy with all of his Pesach minhagim, I was fantasizing about ham and cheese sandwiches! I was literally craving them like a pregnant woman. I felt like it would put me back in control. Of course I didn't do it, because I am a grownup, but the feeling was SO strong! If I were a kid with low impulse control... that would be another thing entirely.

Maybe your DS needs to feel like he has more choices in life. Give him options about going to a friend's house, with rules and consequences. If I give you freedom X, I expect you to be responsible for Y. That can build his confidence, and make him feel more mature.

Does that make sense? 7 is really young, but it's worth a try.
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amother
Red


 

Post Sun, May 22 2016, 1:32 pm
ff thanks for your advice.
btw you do realize he poops in his pants. and it can happen any time of the day. I dont know how beneficial it is to send him to others houses this way.

he says that noone knows and sees. (also one of his issues he doesnt realize that others would realize pretty quickly) so I shield him from that. he has some awareness issues. so I dont know why a 7 yr old would not get that others smell him, and realize whats going on.

so hes gotten better somewhat with it. I think his strong need to have social interaction makes him want to poop in the toilet even though he has an issue. he really tries hard. hopefully he will succeed. that is if all the tests we are gonna do come out negative. then I can say for sure its maturity or awareness.

I told him if he poops in toilet he can go to shul and go to friends. I do think this might be a motivator. but if he doesnt get to see his friends even though he poops he gets all upset and says why do I have to do this if I am not getting my reward. he doesnt realize this is what you have to do no matter what.

and he is not a stupid kid. he sometimes asks questions in chumash or has comments that 7 yr olds dont have. his rebbe and dh said that. hes an intersting kid. I love him to pieces regardless.

many challenging kids grow into something real special. I hope thats the case. he does have beautiful parts to him. may hashem help him and heal him and help him grow through this.
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Bruria




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 22 2016, 7:19 pm
Just be very supportive of your son, it seems like he is going through so many things, it's important for a child to know that he has supportive parents. If you managed to talk to the school, see if they can be more lenient since he just moved, all this takes a while for children to process.
Since it's hard for him to go to play dates , maybe inviting friends over would be easier?
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amother
Red


 

Post Sun, May 22 2016, 8:08 pm
I dont want the other kids to know he has accidents. he needs to change and clean up if this happens. it probably smells. and even if it doesnt. its quite embarrassing. ds isnt so embarrassed but only somewhat. he used to say nobody knows. I dont think hes embarrassed by it. (one of his issues)

its not an option. I was under the impression that its more then a year and he would be adjusted. how long would you say it takes? by what do you measure that? definitely the scholastic part is hard for him. and I mean the secular stuff. they learn so much more then what he got before. its just so much.

at this point dh is really considering to change yeshivas to something that is a lot more our type. a lot more ds type. knowing the kids there already from before we moved will just help him out. as far as his issues hopefully we will get help soon.

all I can ask for now is that hashem should help him heal from encopresis and he would be a lot easier to adjust altogether.
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12rivkyk34




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 23 2016, 12:06 am
I don't think you can give a time limit to a child adjusting to change. There is a lot going on in his life that he keeps adjusting to- the move, the encopresis, not going to friends or shul like other boys his age, a Rebbi who isn't so flexible, an English curriculum that he can't keep up with. That's a handful for a seven year old! No wonder he's acting out!
Please make sure that you are doing concrete things to help him move past his challenges- medical (for his enco), emotional (for his enco & move), behavioral (evaluations & therapy) and learning- maybe hire a tutor to help him catch up as most Lakewood schools do have some sort of English curriculum. You want to make sure you are dealing with each of these issues.
Hatzlocha as it's a lot to handle at once but if you take small steps hopefully you will see significant results.
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