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Forum -> Health & Wellness -> Healthy Lifestyle/ Weight Loss/ Exercise
Dieting=missing out of one of life's joys



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amother
Ecru


 

Post Sun, May 08 2016, 2:44 pm
I hate it I hate it I hate it. I love sweets and fat and carbs. Life is hard, it's nice to enjoy little pleasures throughout the day. I'm not the type of person that can do a moderate diet. When I eat like "normal" people, I gain weight. Its not quantity either--I do not overeat. But I like to have the occasional chips, chocolate, bread. The only way I can lose weight is doing an extreme atkins diet. I am 30 lbs overweight and it's really time to start doing something about it. If I knew it was going to be 6 months and then I can go back to eating normal, I could do it. But the fact that I have to accept that I can never ever enjoy food and I have to live on chicken and salad is just so hard!!! My husband doesn't care about my weight, and I don't have any health issues, BH, but I don't feel good in my clothes and (sorry for sounding like a baby, but) this is just so stupid!
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Sun, May 08 2016, 2:57 pm
Have you tried weightwatchers or even plain old calorie counting? I'm doing ww and I eat bread for lunch most days, and have a treat every evening. I just eat a ton of veggies and soup and fruit. I'm definitely eating a lot less than normal. I also eat pretty much regularly on shabbos and so far I'm still losing weight. (probably slower then I would otherwise but I honestly don't care. I'd rather it takes me a year dieting like this then 6 months counting every bite)

It was just pesach and I pretty much didn't stay on it for pesach and a few days before. I did make some effort to eat more healthy food - I avoided fried food, made lots of soup. Also we don't eat bought stuff on pesach like chocolate or cookies. And my home made ones weren't that amazing. I was successful in maintaining weight.

I think we don't realize how much we eat. I weigh all the protein and carbs I eat and I definitely eat MUCH smaller portions on ww.

I'm still sad that probably, I will have to watch my weight forever. I know now, that if I don't diet I will just put on weight.
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Sun, May 08 2016, 4:42 pm
close to 15 yrs. ago I lost 25 lbs. over 6 months by following weight watchers. I see that whenever I go off it (stop counting points) I quickly gain weight. I cannot eat like regular people do. I really overeat and pay no attention to my stomach (if it's full or not). I only pay attention to my mouth enjoying the delicious taste that I'm eating. The last 3 weeks I have been off of weight watchers. I gained 4.5 lbs. Today I am back on. Let's see how long it takes to loose. The problem is .... I still had 10 lbs to loose and now I added another 4.5! So I know how you feel op. It will probably be a battle for life. On the other hand, I would not want to loose my appetite due to illness chas v'shalom so I will try to stick with my eating plan and even if I can't loose much I hope I won't gain either.
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debbie321




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 08 2016, 8:15 pm
I just had a conversation like this with my husband. I hate how I look,I need to lose the baby weight, but....I dont find fruits appetizing when im hungry! I lovr bagels and chocolate! plus im too tired with kids to focus on eating better! so my husband and I have an agreement. seeing as he used to follow a meal plan from a nutritionist, we will try to follow it. we will also try 2 motivate each other. so when 1 is hungry for something,the other will help . I also learned it helps to have appetizing food available. so if I like cucumbers,I will keep a steady supply when im hungry. my biggest issue is I feel if I exercise,it will motivate me to eat better...that and a prebaby body outfit. I am starting eith baby steps so that I dont feel ahhh im on a diet im gonna starve I need my carbs! so far my baby steps r increase water,fruits and veggies....tgen when I feel better about myself, I will go all the way...id recommend find something fun to motivate u,like an exercise song,or a healthy food(mine r cucmbers and baby tomatos) or I sometimes like to look at pics of me prebaby for.motivation( and my old clotges honsetly. I miss looking put tigether in my clothes!)I also learned thru experience with dieting for the past 15 years, that support helps! ask ur husband to join u on eating better, so u wont feel alone and miserable! ask him tot alk walks with u,even around the block!
and it is very tough....but thats ok to feel that! but its not impossible! falling doesnt mean u cant get back up! good luck!
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Sun, May 08 2016, 8:19 pm
Yeah, my husband, for better or for worse, has the opposite problem. He is 5"8 and 120 lbs. He can't gain weight even if he eats sticks of butter with every meal. It would be very, very unhealthy for him to cut out sweets or calories.
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 09 2016, 8:28 am
It's not true that you have to be miserable to lose weight. Since you like sweets and treats and junk food, then all you have to do to lose weight is start counting your calories to make sure you are only eating enough junk food as you are allowed, in your day/week. Check out myfitnesspal.com. It's free and just start reading the posts of others who are eating ice cream every day and still losing weight.

I am a health freak and I love sweets and treats and I just ate Bamba for lunch. If you dont have need to eat to 'feel full' and instead prefer to eat quality, meaning yummy, then you can do it. It's the 'need to feel full' eaters who have the hardest time. Not the junk food eaters.
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saw50st8




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 09 2016, 8:36 am
OP, I totally understand where you are coming from. At a certain point you need to decide if food is more important than losing weight. It's a question I haven't fully answered yet.
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L25




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 09 2016, 8:49 am
chani8- serious question-how do you get the necessary nutrients when you waste your calories on junk food- a person can be skinny like that but I can't imagine healthy. Also I thought you eat chicken and carrots or is that no more?
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Mon, May 09 2016, 9:49 am
Chani8 and Ecru, you're wrong. Junk food is bad for everyone, whether you're skinny or just counting calories. You may lose weight by indiscriminately counting calories, but there's more to health than weight. Excess sugar messes with your metabolism. My husband is roughly the same proportions as Ecru's (a little taller, even), and yes, he needs more calories, but we learned the hard way that those calories shouldn't come from sweets. His parents stuffed him full of junk as a kid in a desperate attempt to get him to gain weight, and now he's prediabetic, even though he's very thin. Yes, he needs to eat more food than most people, but it still has to be nutritious food, just as it does for anyone trying to lose weight. WHile not everyone has to necessarily watch their carbs, to say that quality doesn't matter is false. Poor quality foods can mess around with your internal workings, no matter what you weigh.
I myself struggle with weight and yes, I need to feel full. But if I eat the right foods, I feel full with less food. I need to avoid carbs as much as possible as I also have sugar issues (but not as bad as DH), but there are still pretty enjoyable foods that are fine for me to eat. Steak is delicious, and I can have it. cheese is delicious and I can have it. Most baked goods can be modified to cut carbs and sugar and still taste good. the only thing I'm struggling with is pasta. I LOVE pasta, especially smothered in something creamy and cheesy. Unfortunately, there are NO good alternatives to pasta if you're trying to cut carbs, so I have to work really hard to live with as little pasta as possible.
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Mon, May 09 2016, 11:39 am
I'm on ww and each small chocolate bar is 5 points. My daily allowance is 30 points. I could eat 6 chocolate bars but I bet id be hungry. I prefer to split my points 2-25 on carbs and proteins, (bread, cereal, meat, chicken, eggs) and 5-10 points on treats. I could go without treats but I don't think I'd last very long on a diet if I cut out treats entirely.

I like ww since you don't have to count most fruit and veggies. I've been eating tons of fruit and veggies since I've started. And they suddenly seem much more appealing.
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 09 2016, 12:18 pm
L25 wrote:
chani8- serious question-how do you get the necessary nutrients when you waste your calories on junk food- a person can be skinny like that but I can't imagine healthy. Also I thought you eat chicken and carrots or is that no more?


I dont think anyone is meaning 'only' junk food. Of course I usually eat healthy but that doesn't eliminate 'junk food'. We're discussing dieting and the loss of junk food and I'm saying, one can diet, lose weight, while including junk food. It's about calories. If one eats mostly healthy, and mostly low calorie, then there will be room for the usually heavy calories found in junk food.
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Tue, May 24 2016, 5:30 pm
OP here. Bringing this thread back to life here. GUYS! I can't to this dieting thing!!! I am going nuts!! No matter how hard I try to eat "balanced" it is impossible. I am too messed up in the head. I only know how to starve and how to binge.
Has anyone ever gone to therapy for this and seen results? What do they do to help?
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Tue, May 24 2016, 5:48 pm
yup, its really hard!!!!! The last few weeks I have given up by friday morning. Binge until sunday morning when I restart my diet. Some weeks I lose weight, the last few I haven't.

However, even if I am not losing weight, I am not gaining. So its all good. And I'm eating really healthy food - tons of veggies, lean proteins. Still eating select junk food.

I don't think its true that you can't eat normally again.

A good diet for you might be the 5:2 diet, or fast diet. It didn't work for me because I ate too much on the off days but the theory is you eat 500 calories (fast) on 2 non consecutive days a week, and normally (1500-2000cal) the other days. A lot of people are very successful on this diet however. People successfully maintain weight but fasting one day a week.
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spring13




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 24 2016, 8:17 pm
I feel the same...I enjoy food, I like making it and eating it and everything involved in having something that tastes good. I cannot live on scooped out bagels with tuna. I do my best to eat whole grains, vegetables, and so on, but I just cannot go carb/gluten/sugar/joy free only because of what other people think of my midsection.

My answer is really to exercise more, which is it's own set of problems. But I was clearly born to be a turnip farmer or something along those lines. I spent a summer doing physical labor in the sun for half the day, ate whatever I wanted, and lost weight. When I was able to go to the gym several times a week without letting anything else in my life slide, I lost weight. Right now I'm trying to motivate myself to rejoin the gym and make the time to work out because I also feel terrible about how my belly fat looks. I actually enjoy exercise when I get into it - but I seriously hate dieting.
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 25 2016, 3:13 am
amother wrote:
OP here. Bringing this thread back to life here. GUYS! I can't to this dieting thing!!! I am going nuts!! No matter how hard I try to eat "balanced" it is impossible. I am too messed up in the head. I only know how to starve and how to binge.
Has anyone ever gone to therapy for this and seen results? What do they do to help?


That was me for years, starving and binging. I dont think therapy can help with it. I think it's a long process of finding a healthier way to eat, as an individual. The key is understanding your personal weaknesses, your habits, and creating a diet plan that doesn't require you to change so much.

You are trying to eat balanced. What does that mean? How do you eat, in a day (before diet)? What do you usually like to eat on a daily basis? You dont have to tell me, but write it out for yourself. You can crumple it up and throw it away later. lol

And then examine your 'joys' and see how much they really are 'the problem'. From what I know about people eating balanced diets, they tend to not realize how many calories are in those 'balanced meals'. And it's all about the calories, when it comes to weight loss.
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Wed, May 25 2016, 8:34 am
Someone on this site mentioned a book called "Brain Over Binge". I read the first few chapters and I have for the first time in my life broken the binge/starve cycle. I eat anything and everything I want when I want it. I try to eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, but I don't restrict my eating in any way. In the past several months I have eaten ice cream, chips, chocolate, falafel, fried chicken with French fries, but I eat them in small quantities. This is something I was NEVER able to do before. I strongly recommend you read the book. I have lost 10 lbs. in a span of 2 months. I finally feel free!
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bluebird




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 25 2016, 5:17 pm
What helped me was to take it in two stages. If you try to lose weight fast while completely changing what you eat you will fail, quickly, and get discouraged. BTDT for many years.

1. Track calories and begin SLOWLY reducing calories to lose weight. You can eat 100-200 fewer calories every day and lose weight while barely noticing it. My diet was already terrible, so I wasn't making anything worse. I began losing weight and also this helped readjust my feeling of being full.

2. Now that I was making progress and OK with eating fewer calories I started changing my diet in other ways. Eating more vegetables. Paying more attention to protein. I'm not perfect but my diet is pretty good.

I still eat the good things in life. But you know what? Once you start eating in a healthy way and appropriate amount for your body, you'll find that your feelings of pleasure around food will change. I love cookies. I still eat cookies. But I came to realize that the pleasure of eating cookies didn't continue for all the cookies. Two cookies are tasty. The third, fourth, etc cookies just go into my mouth without thinking about it. I realized I wasn't enjoying them, stopped eating after two cookies, and found I was still feeling that I was enjoying food. I also found I started enjoying other things more, including vegetables that I thought I hated like spinach. I learned how to make food taste better, and I enjoy it all more so I don't have to eat so many cookies. Smile

I went from obese to slender and have maintained for years. Lots of people have, and we're here to support you. Smile You can do it!


Last edited by bluebird on Wed, May 25 2016, 5:24 pm; edited 1 time in total
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bluebird




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 25 2016, 5:20 pm
chani8 wrote:

And then examine your 'joys' and see how much they really are 'the problem'. From what I know about people eating balanced diets, they tend to not realize how many calories are in those 'balanced meals'. And it's all about the calories, when it comes to weight loss.


I was so oblivious to this! I started measuring the olive oil I was putting in my salads (healthy, right?) and was shocked at how many calories it really was. People think salads are so healthy and don't realize, like I didn't, that they can be much worse than "non-healthy" food.
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etky




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 25 2016, 5:32 pm
bluebird wrote:
What helped me was to take it in two stages. If you try to lose weight fast while completely changing what you eat you will fail, quickly, and get discouraged. BTDT for many years.

1. Track calories and begin SLOWLY reducing calories to lose weight. You can eat 100-200 fewer calories every day and lose weight while barely noticing it. My diet was already terrible, so I wasn't making anything worse. I began losing weight and also this helped readjust my feeling of being full.

2. Now that I was making progress and OK with eating fewer calories I started changing my diet in other ways. Eating more vegetables. Paying more attention to protein. I'm no saint but my diet is pretty good.

I still eat the good things in life. But you know what? Once you start eating in a healthy way and appropriate amount for your body, you'll find that your feelings of pleasure around food will change. I love cookies. I still eat cookies. But I came to realize that the pleasure of eating cookies didn't continue for all the cookies. Two cookies are tasty. The third, fourth, etc cookies just go into my mouth without thinking about it. I realized I wasn't enjoying them, stopped eating after two cookies, and found I was still feeling that I was enjoying food. I also found I started enjoying other things more, including vegetables that I thought I hated like spinach. I learned how to make food taste better, and I enjoy it all more so I don't have to eat so many cookies. Smile

I went from obese to slender and have maintained for years. Lots of people have, and we're here to support you. Smile You can do it!


I wouldn't call myself slender (just not built that way) but I'm within the range of a normal BMI for my height. I've been maintaining for well over 10 years. I also still eat cookies, in moderation. Even when I was losing the weight (on WW) I did not eliminate the foods that I loved most - in my case cake and cookies.
OP, you can't make yourself miserable by cutting out all the foods that you love and bring you joy.
The key is prioritizing (like what Chani8 said), portion control and mindful eating.
Once you have reassured yourself that you will still be able to eat the foods you love (in moderation!) this will obviate so much of the anxiety that you have around the entire issue of dieting. It is much easier to diet without all that anxiety that only makes you want to eat more.
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Wed, May 25 2016, 5:47 pm
Also, when I do binge on shabbos or yom tov I end up with heartburn, constipation or other issues. I really do feel better when I eat healthy.
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