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PSA: Lashon Hara L'toeles



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miami85




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 20 2016, 2:56 pm
Last week in the parsha we learned about "hochiah tochiah es amisecha".
We are in yimei hasfira preparing for kabblals hatorah
We are not that far from the 3 weeks which we were punished for hilchos bein adam l'chavero and lashon hara.
As a long time member of this site, I see violations of this ALL TOO OFTEN. I thought it was time for a review.

Please remember that lashon hara l'toeles is very specific (There are 7 guidelines, but I'm posting them succinctly here)
1)Has to have immediate & relevant implications (thinking that someone will move to my neighborhood in 3 years from now is NOT immediately relevant)
2)Has to be related in an objective manner--not from a newspaper article or a blog but from a 1st hand source. There cannot be ANY exaggeration.
3) It cannot be told to anyone who would have a personal complaint about the person.

And even if you HEAR or SEE something about someone else--unless the person has publicly denounced Judaism or Hashem, the person is STILL considered "amisecha"

1) You cannot take it as fact--even if you are the witness (ma'aris ayin? dan l'kaf zechus?)
2)You cannot act on the person or bear a grudge to the person
3) You can take precautions--such as not leaving the person alone with others--but in case of male/female situations--that's halacha anyway
4) You CANNOT tell other people, you CANNOT embarrass anyone.
5) We are not Hashem we have NO idea how various crimes/behaviors/aveiros rank in the eyes of HaShem. BEFORE posting anything negative--think about yourself--have YOU been perfect today? Did you keep Shabbos 100%? Did you interact with your friend in a 100% perfect way.

This is NOT to protect BAD people--but to treat others the WAY YOU WOULD WANT TO BE TREATED--Also last week's parsha. If a person committed a crime and is covering his/her face=shame and embarrassment. Already a form of teshuva. IF and WHEN there is REASON to know then you should know. To/ inform people--especially if it is a public of a short-coming of Our people is also an aveirah.

We have to show the world that "Kedoshim tehiyu" is our motto--and that we are above these allegations instead of bemoaning our shortcomings.

But you DON'T have to take my word for it, you can read up on hilchos lashon hara here:

http://jvalues.com/wordpress/w.....n.pdf
http://halachipedia.com/index......_Hara
https://powerofspeech.org/the-.....ticle
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miami85




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 20 2016, 3:15 pm
One more point that I would like to add.

Even if you claim that a post on this website it to "be protecting others"

There may be others that may not use the information properly and for that you become responsible.

There's a big difference between:

So and so was arrested yesterday for a sin committed years ago (even if it was last week)

and

So and so is on the loose and dangerous and has threatened to hurt other people.

The first one is very rarely l'toeles. Even the word "indicted" does not mean "proven"
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imorethanamother




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 20 2016, 6:09 pm
See, that's very true. However, many classic sources say you should publicize the name of a rasha. And frankly, Rabbis who are raping little girls for years and then manipulating them and their families aren't people who should be protected. The more we out this vile behavior, the more we stop trying to quiet the families who out these rapists, the more this behavior is no longer tolerated and hidden. Telling people to be ashamed about it is only hurting the victims. I'm tired of women and girls suffering in silence because we are more concerned about the abuser than the abused.

So he covered his face for the picture after he was arrested for raping a child? This, you think is teshuvah?
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miami85




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, May 21 2016, 7:27 pm
Point is that YOU know nothing that is factual. I know nothing that is factual. Without knowing facts we have no right to say anything. We cannot call anyone a rasha until there are facts from something more reliable than a web-log. People CAN be falsely indicted, and falsely arrested. I'm not saying that this true here, but this was meant as a blanket statement involving EVERY person arrested or a mental health professional or a doctor on this site that is mentioned. Until things are "known" or "proven" you cannot say anything that is lashon hara, about him, or anyone connected with him--or bemoan the "status of our gedolim"


You can easily say something that harms another's future, but retractions are much harder.
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simi44




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 30 2016, 6:28 am
thank you! I needed the reminder.....yasher kochaich
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imasoftov




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 30 2016, 6:48 am
ידי נשים רחמניות בשלו ילדיהן
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