So frustrated!!! Is watching videos really bad?

amother

Gray

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 2:37 pm

My husband is busy studying for his bar exam. My 2 year old is being very 2! Fussy, picky, super active... Usually I have enough strength to entertain him on my own, but today I've reached the end of my rope. He didn't sleep well last night, kept me up a lot, woke up at 6, didn't take a nap today. It's boiling hot out- I can't walk anymore (I took him to the park and on walks all week. my feet have had enough!). It is a struggle to get him to eat anything. I'm so tired of doing more than my usual share while Dh studies- I'm doing everything! (No, I can't hire help.) So as I write this my 2 year old toddler is watching cartoons on you tube, something I usually only allow on Sunday (sometimes Thursday while I cook for Shabbos as well). How bad is it for him? Will it really affect his ability to concentrate in class etc etc? I just ran out of patience! He's being so fussy today, I'm near tears and I want to take a nap. Aaaahhhhhrrggg!

Happydance

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 2:48 pm

a little of anything wont be harmful. definitely seems like you need the break today. Dont feel guilty for today and then take the time to make an educated decision about videos at a more sane time
Hatzlocha getting through this tekufa!

amother

Silver

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 2:56 pm

There's so much handwringing about this that's completely unnecessary. The studies showing a detrimental effect in the long term are on low income kids who do nothing BUT watch TV. Presumably, you read to your child and do enriching and stimulating activities with him. Using the TV as a crutch now and then- even for way more than the recommended 2 hours a day- is fine as long as it's not the usual routine. I've let my kids veg like that to get through temporary difficult times- exams, busy seasons at work, newborn siblings, etc and nobody has been hindered by it. Choose quality programs and he may even learn something from it. Not all TV is junk,theres good stuff out there too.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 3:46 pm

I swore I wasn't going to be "that mother" who let her kid sit in front of the TV. No way, not me!

Then my kiddo turned 2. embarrassed

I caved, and got her some kosher videos to watch. What a difference! I became a much more sane, patient, and loving mother after I'd had a little break. DD was (and still is) an incredibly picky eater who would complain about anything, but I found out that if I let her eat in front of the screen, she'd clear her plate without a single problem. She was really underweight, so it was a blessing all around.

As long as you remain in charge, and switch out the screen time with art, parks, helping around the house, reading, etc. then you will be absolutely fine. It sounds like you are doing a great job.

My suggestion is to have a set time during the day for screen time, and stick to it. Even if it's during family dinner, just so that your child will eat properly. BBC Kids has some really adorable shows, and none of them are crass or violent.

Just remember, shows are like candy. If your child doesn't understand "dessert time", then he will be begging for it all day long. It has to be part of a very rigid routine, or it will slowly take over your life. It's so easy to give in when you're exhausted, and he's screaming for "5 more minutes!"

Simple1

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 4:03 pm

I like FF's advice for keeping it under control.

If you can, it's probably better to watch educational stuff - ABC's, shapes, colors, nursery rhymes, etc. They also tend to be a slower pace than cartoons, and therefore (I assume) less harmful for the brain than super quick-constantly changing scenes-videos.

amother

Gray

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 4:56 pm

Thanks everyone!!! You've restored my sanity.
FF, it's funny you mentioned eating in front of tv. My son is a picky eater and also seems to be too busy and active to have patience to actually eat and sometimes only eats when I read to him.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 8:28 pm

DD absolutely LOVED "Nanalan". https://www.google.co.il/webhp.....sodes

It's sweet, slow moving, and very nurturing. It's about a 2yo who spends the day at her grandmother's, while her mom goes to work. Nana likes to take Mona into the garden to see all the wonders of nature. Mona is happy there, but always gets excited when her mom picks her up at the end of the day.

This would be a really good show for when it's time to settle down. I's almost hypnotic, it's so relaxing!

gold21

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 10:16 pm

Im a big fan of videos for young kids.
As kids get older I find that I dont really rely on videos anymore. Theres so much to do, like hang out with a neighbor, play baseball, read a book, color, go biking, listen to a story CD, play with Lego.... and play on the iPad Wink

But seriously, with little kids, who are not yet able to entertain themselves, I totally use videos as needed, to catch a mental break. If you choose the right ones, your kid will actually learn from watching. For example, my kids have picked up various nursery rhymes from Mother Goose Club videos.

mummiedearest

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 10:45 pm

it's ok when you need it. just so you know, toddlers' appetites diminish when it's hot outside. don't worry about how much he eats. just make sure he drinks enough and eats a little bit throughout the day. and make sure you do too.

don't worry, soon enough he'll be a teen Twisted Evil

seeker

Wed, Jun 22 2016, 11:03 pm

I think if you need to fall back on videos to give yourself some moments of peace, that's ok - but make sure to check the quality of the videos you choose.

My kids playlist includes active songs like happy and you know it, freeze dance, there's this really cute video called "if you're a kid" and then once you find that there are others by the same people. These are all things where you follow directions and move your body.

Also, be careful with youtube because it can automatically play something related or ads that are not appropriate. There are other sites with kid videos that may give more control. I have heard of a site called GoNoodle that has some fun videos but I haven't explored how it works.