Help! Potty training a 3.5 year old!!

israeli83

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 12:48 pm

So I sort of started introducing the potty to my 3.5 year old boy a year ago! He wore his new underwear and at one point, he had an accident on the floor and almost slipped when he was walking. I didn't make a big deal about it, but I think he still remembers that. Now, a year later, I'm still trying and I read books, videos and nothing seems to work. He has an older brother that goes to the bathroom and a younger brother with diapers...so he's the middle boy. At one point, I just got fed up and let him cry for about an hour because I didn't want to put on his diaper and told him he has to try to wear the underwear. Well, I gave up after that hour and just put on the diaper because it wasn't going anywhere and I know people say that it's not a good idea to force. I've been patient for a long time... but now it's summer and by September he'll be going to preschool and he's still wearing his diapers!!!!! He doesn't even want to try to wear the new underwear I bought for him.

Today I decided to throw a little "potty party" for him. I used his favorite doll bear and showed him that the bear wears underwear and then I thought him how the bear goes to the potty. He liked that game. Then I showed him his underwear, but he didn't want to wear it. So I showed him the wrapped gifts so he'll know that he gets prizes if he wears the underwear and tries to go to the toilet. Well, that didn't help! I didn't give in and didn't give him any prizes and told him he'll get it only when he tries the underwear. So it just looks like he gave up and didn't ask for the prizes anymore because he didn't want to try to sit on his potty or wear underwear. This boy is VERY VERY stubborn and I'm not sure what to do anymore. I'm feeling so stressed out and even though the pediatrician said that eventually every child learns on his own to be without diapers, this boy doesn't seem to want to give up his diapers ever!!!

Not sure what to do anymore...anyone has the same experience and any success stories??

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 12:59 pm

I'm not an expert at all (actually trying to toilet train my son right now!) but - at least with my son - you need to give advance warning and build excitement instead of just deciding today you're going to do it.

You can say after shabbos, we're going to start using the toilet too! Show him the prizes if that's the method you want to use... but spend a few days talking about it before taking the leap.

asp40

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 1:17 pm

Does he have control over when he goes to the bathroom. Like, can he hold it in? If he is physically ready, then just let him decide mentally when to be ready. Can he go to school in diapers? If so, then drop the issue. You guys are having a power struggle and it is not worth it.

If he isn't physically able to hold it in and go when needed, then really let the whole issue drop. He just isn't ready.

israeli83

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 1:31 pm

asp40 wrote:

That's one question I need to ask the school's director but I'm assuming it's something to be expected these days..to wear underwear at age 4.

I'm not sure about him holding the pee. I did notice that in the mornings, his diapers are still wet after his night sleep so I know he's not ready for the night. But during the day, sometimes he tells me to change his pee diaper. And when he has to make number 2, he goes to a corner in the room where he always makes and sometimes he tells me he has to make even before he soils his diaper so I thought that physically he's ready.

tryinghard

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 2:11 pm

Last summer, I was tearing my hair out because of a similar situation. What finally worked was having him run around in a big t-shirt with nothing under, taking him to the toilet every 10 minutes. It helped to have a timer that would go off, so it wasn't ME deciding it was time, but "the timer rang! let's go!". When he got good at that, I found he had a hard time with underwear, but after a few days with pants and no underwear (cringing thinking about it but he had accidents anytime he wore underwear), he finally got the hang of it.