Not one thank you | Imamother

amother

Floralwhite

Fri, Jun 24 2016, 1:18 pm

Hi OP,

I think I really understand how you feel. I'm also a teacher who usually comes home on the last day with a pile of glowing thank you notes. This year I had a much lower key class and even though I heard such nice reports from the parents and from my students all year I got a total of 4 thank you notes out of 24! I was and still am really shocked, but I think that's how it goes sometimes.

It's wrong, but try not to let it get to you...Dont forget your real sechar is waiting for you in Shamayim!! That's what teaching is all about. Sometimes the kids we work hardest on and succeed the most with are children from difficult or dysfunctional backgrounds and you better believe the only thanks we get for all of that work is eternal sechar!!

amother

Olive

Fri, Jun 24 2016, 1:29 pm

Simple1 wrote:

Also, what about the teacher who works hard but still does wrong with a student like picks on her or is too harsh? Or what about a high school teacher who puts her heart and soul into a troubled atudent, and the mother never knows?

Those are things that should have been communicated by the teachers / parents throughout the year. If you think a teacher is not being fair to your child or picking on him/ her, you need to discuss that. If a teacher is working with my "troubled" child, I would absolutely want to know about that. There is something lacking in communication in both those scenarios.

flowerpower

Fri, Jun 24 2016, 1:37 pm

Gifts at the end of the year are not needed nor expected. Just a simple thank you note to end the year with some appreciation. Simple as that. I write a sample on a paper and my kids copy it onto a nice card. Personal and simple. This year I sent a little something with the card. My neighbor teaches a few grades in a high school. She was marking the finals on my steps outside. She showed me how a few girls wrote a note on the test saying something like thanks for teaching us. I really enjoyed your lessons. I thought it was a really nice thing to do.

Fri, Jun 24 2016, 2:44 pm

Why are some "blaming"? It's never the teacher's fault that others don't tell her thank you! !! Even if she would've been the worst teacher ever, those 2 words are a sign of trying to show appreciation. Happens to be, each class I taught there were those that had difficulty saying it for various reasons.

flowerpower

Fri, Jun 24 2016, 3:39 pm

amother wrote:

It seems like teachers expect a lot more accolades than most other professions. I don't expect multiple gifts and thank you notes a year from the families of the kids I work with as a PT.

It's a different catergory. You work 90 minutes on average with a kid per week. I know it's hard work physically and mentally. That we are not denying. Your paycheck is probably a little more than the average frum teacher. A teacher works with 22 students at a time how many hours per week?

notshanarishona

Fri, Jun 24 2016, 4:35 pm

amother wrote:

It seems like teachers expect a lot more accolades than most other professions. I don't expect multiple gifts and thank you notes a year from the families of the kids I work with as a PT.

PT most patients are 1-2 hours a week, for a few months. It's very different than a few hours a day every day for a year. It's not really comparable.
Your kids teachers are doing a very important job that can affect the rest of their lives.
A good teacher can make all the difference and a bad teacher can also unfortunately.
I think every person who does their job well should get thanked.

I do think in some situations parent's are overburdened already by tuition and that the minhag of requesting presents for teachers a little too often to make it meaningless. By the time you have a Chanukah gelt and Purim present then people feel like they have given enough thank you presents for the year.

deams

Fri, Jun 24 2016, 5:21 pm

I did not read the whole thread. I believe that a teacher needs to be thanked no matter what. They turned up to take care of your child. We have no idea how hard they have tried to teach our children. Most teachers go beyond the paycheck. To the poster who said she feels that she should not thank the teacher because her daughter is a top student and an asset to the class and did not receive a nachas call, I am shocked. Have you ever been a teacher? While it would be nice to get a call, be thankful she continued to be a great student. Do you know how many students are great one year and the next not. That teacher was definitely doing something right. I am speaking up as a teacher and a parent. There were times when I have disliked my child's teachers for many different reasons. Bottom line is no matter how much I payed in tuition this person was with my child for around 10 months. If a teacher is so bad then it's a parents respisiblity to speak up and work things out with the school or pull the kid out. Why put your kid through what you think was terrible? Thank you to all the teachers out there. Who spend hours with our children in and out of school. Who not only have to deal with our children's nonsense but parents as well. Thank you!

Another mom

Sat, Jun 25 2016, 12:35 pm

I always thank teachers when I see them at the end... (or middle at PTC) but don't usually write it. It's a great idea, the teachers can save and cherish the note. The homeroom tchr gets a gift but with a general note, not from each parent. But also the other teachers (not homeroom) should get notes too!

seeker

Sat, Jun 25 2016, 7:19 pm

I dunno, I thank my kid's therapists too. Not always with gifts and not always at the same time of year, but I aim for a gift-ish type thing once a year (typically Purim for the Jewish ones and winter break time otherwise, but depends what's going on in my personal life at the time) and at the end of the year the least they get is an email with some words of appreciation.

I don't know about "expect" but I do generally receive at least a "thanks for everything" by email or verbally if the parent did the final pickup, and if a parent didn't even offer that I would think it's strange.

helene

Sat, Jun 25 2016, 8:35 pm

I have long found that the mitzva of hakoras hatov which means saying "thank you" is a forgotten mitzvah today. It is often very hurtful. It does not only affect teachers but is a general lack of appreciation shown towards people who do something for someone else, weather against payment or not. So I have learned that I in my heart have to know that I did the right thing, weather other people appreciate it or not. The One Above will know that I did my best and that is all that matters. Otherwise one can turn into a very bitter person and that doesnt benefit anybody either.
Yes OP you are right. You deserve a very big thank you from one and each of your pupils. But if you didn't get it don't get too worked up about it. Carry on your good work and hope next year will be better. You did an excellent job! And you will surely get your sechar from our father in shomajim.

GetReal

Sat, Jun 25 2016, 9:24 pm

My kids are the most important thing in my life. Of course I thank the people who spend hours with them each day! I wrote cards and I also had the kids write cards. Some years I can buy gifts, some years just cookies. And of course I thank the babysitter and therapists and bus drivers too, and write them nice cards and gifts if I can. And I thank doctors and the mailman...

Amother who wondered why the teacher didn't call to compliment her - do teachers do that? Never heard of it. That's what pta is for.