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Threatened at work



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amother
White


 

Post Tue, Jul 12 2016, 10:23 am
I work in the business office of a Jewish school. I deal with scholarships. An irate parent verbally abused me today. When I said I cannot continue this conversation and hung up, he tried to call me back multiple times. I didn't answer. Then he called someone else in the building and told them if I don't pick up, he's coming to get me.
I left the building but I'm still shaking.
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cnc




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 12 2016, 10:26 am
I had a similar situation except that the parent was actually on-site in my office.
I called security who escorted her out.

Is there security in your building?
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Tue, Jul 12 2016, 10:27 am
Did you report this to anyone in authority? If you did what did they say they would do to resolve the issue for you?
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amother
White


 

Post Tue, Jul 12 2016, 10:28 am
The local police came and are monitoring the building
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amother
White


 

Post Tue, Jul 12 2016, 10:30 am
I was told the principal will call the man but the principal is out this week
I'm so nervous. .. Scared to go back tomorrow
I'm the nervous type in general
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cnc




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 12 2016, 10:31 am
amother wrote:
Did you report this to anyone in authority? If you did what did they say they would do to resolve the issue for you?


Well I basically was the one in authority. There was one person above me who informed her that she may not step onto the grounds again without permission.

It was a bit different than your scenario in the fact that she was not actually part of our program yet, but was in the building because she was trying to register her child for the program.
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Miri7




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 12 2016, 10:31 am
Please report this to the front office, the administration and HR people and whomever else may be in charge of letting people though the front gate.

IMO the head of school should contact the oarent and let them know that such behavior is unacceptable, require a written apology and inform them that any further such threats will result in expulsion of the children and forfeiture of any tuition paid. The school simply can't have persons threatening the safety of children, faculty or staff.
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cnc




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 12 2016, 10:31 am
Sorry blonde, I thought that you were the OP and responded.
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amother
White


 

Post Tue, Jul 12 2016, 10:34 am
I let everyone in the building know and there is a security system so they won't let him in. I would hope the principal kicks the kid out but I was just told that this isn't the first time they called the police on this particular parent
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groisamomma




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 12 2016, 10:44 am
The burden of tuition with nowhere to turn can make people resort to saying or doing desperate things...nebach. I'm sorry OP that you are going through this.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2016, 7:52 am
amother wrote:
I let everyone in the building know and there is a security system so they won't let him in. I would hope the principal kicks the kid out but I was just told that this isn't the first time they called the police on this particular parent


Where do you think the kid should be? On the street? Poor kid.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2016, 10:16 am
Chayalle wrote:
Where do you think the kid should be? On the street? Poor kid.


True, this is not the kid's fault, but the parent also must be curbed in his behavior. OP, I think you should register a formal complaint with the police just to have it on the record. Eventually, the school can get a restraining order, so that the kid can come to school but the father is not allowed in the vicinity, but first a pattern of behavior has to be on record with the police.
OP, are you OK? I'd be shaken up.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2016, 10:27 am
debsey wrote:
True, this is not the kid's fault, but the parent also must be curbed in his behavior. OP, I think you should register a formal complaint with the police just to have it on the record. Eventually, the school can get a restraining order, so that the kid can come to school but the father is not allowed in the vicinity, but first a pattern of behavior has to be on record with the police.
OP, are you OK? I'd be shaken up.


Agree I was thinking about this, and this is really tough for the OP. I just feel sorry for the kid, and I think the PARENT should have consequences here, but as much as possible, the kid should be protected.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2016, 1:42 pm
I will preface my post by stating that there is never an excuse for violence. Having said that, I'm having a hard time feeling pity for OP. She is only telling us her side of the story.

Remember all those threads about people in seious financial straits to whom scholarship and tuition committees are heartless and degrading? Since OP said she's on the scholarship committee I'm going to assume the parent has another, quite different, version of events.
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Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2016, 2:13 pm
This is also the kind of situation where a respected local rav should be involved. It's possible that the parent has some mental or physical health issues that are leading to this kind of behavior. From personal experience, I've learned to make sure my diabetic DH has eaten before he makes potentially touchy phone calls. Police claim that they'd rather deal with drunken brawls than with diabetics experiencing low blood-sugar -- which tells you a lot!

It's also possible that perhaps the school is not as a whole handling things well.

School employees certainly should not have to worry about their safety being threatened, but this is an opportunity to work on what sounds like an ongoing problem with this particular parent rather than simply jumping immediately to punitive mode.

Of course, it's possible that the guy is just a jerk, and if that's the case, he needs a rav to direct him to anger management therapy or the equivalent.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2016, 3:35 pm
I hear what you are saying, Fox, but when you're dealing with safety, you have to be cautious. I once heard a speech about safety and they said "We hope for the best-case scenario, but always plan for the worst-case scenario."

In this case, best case scenario is that the guy is like your husband, in which case, if you call the cops, they will call him, give him a stern talking-to, and maybe finally make him realize he needs some help with his anger management.

Worst-case scenario, the guy is actually a danger to others, and when the cops have a paper trail of other times/people he has threatened, they FORCE him into treatment or other alternatives, and he has no choice but to shape up.

Violent offenders tend to give people frequent warnings -the ex-husband who tells his ex wife that one day he's going to shoot her and the kids, the high-school kid who posts on Facebook that he's planning on shooting up the school, the disgruntled employee who threatens to beat up his employer. We're safer taking them at their word, even if that's just their way of blowing off steam.

Bottom line is, someone calls my office and threatens me, I'm calling the cops.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2016, 3:36 pm
Chayalle wrote:
Agree I was thinking about this, and this is really tough for the OP. I just feel sorry for the kid, and I think the PARENT should have consequences here, but as much as possible, the kid should be protected.


There's another horrifying thought in all of this -this child LIVES with this parent. If this is how he acts to a secretary calling with a tuition reminder, what does he do when the kid is chutzpahdik or even just a bit rambunctious? I hope the school is keeping a close eye on the situation.
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Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 13 2016, 5:18 pm
debsey wrote:
I hear what you are saying, Fox, but when you're dealing with safety, you have to be cautious. I once heard a speech about safety and they said "We hope for the best-case scenario, but always plan for the worst-case scenario."


Oh, for sure. I was presenting this as an "and" -- not an "or"!
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