Implementing 123 magic

amother

Lavender

Wed, Jul 13 2016, 4:40 pm

I know the book talks about it, but I guess I'd like to hear from real world moms too. Dh and I have decided this system would be good for our family. Some background: we have 3 kids, 5, almost 3, and baby (obviously the baby is not old enough to need a system, just mentioning he exists). We're actually not in such a bad place- kids are generally well behaved and we have Bh never hit, and rarely yell, but we feel we need a system because we're not always so consistent, we're rather disorganized and have no routines for ourselves or the kids and things often get overwhelming- though the basics always somehow get done, we know we can do better. The 5 year old has mild ASD and in general, with the kids getting bigger, there's more coming up soon- homework, expecting chores, allowance, etc, so we want to be ready for that.
Anyway, where do we start? How do we talk to the kids (do we even bother talking to the 2 year old)? And is it hard to implement, especially since we're not so organized? Any advice in general from those familiar with the 123 magic system. Thanks.

fbmommy

Wed, Jul 13 2016, 9:06 pm

I use it and it is the most incredible way to parent. I remember my mother counting when I was little and was always counting for my kids. Then I took a free workshop on implementing 1-2-3 magic and I loved it because it helped correct some things I didn't like about just counting.
The biggest challenge I find is remembering to use it right away when a kid does something that I want them to stop.
the best part of using it is when I'm in public, I have instant listening from my kids.

amother

Pewter

Thu, Jul 14 2016, 2:35 pm

We use it and are so happy with it!

I think you should sit down and talk to them, but don't expect them to understand what you're saying. Have it as a family meeting - even the baby should there - so they get the feeling that this is a new way the family will do things. The point shouldn't be to make sure they understand exactly what will happen, but that they get the general idea. If you and your husband act it out for them, even the 2 year old will get it to some degree (plus little kids love that!).

Then, just jump right in and start doing it. Things may get worse before they get better, but then they will get much better!

123 magic is as much a training method for parents as for children - the more you do it, the more you will do it and the better you'll do it. I try to re-read the book (in part or in whole) every 6 months to brush up.

The most important thing is to have a calm voice when you do it. Also, discuss with your husband what scenarios you specifically would want to use it in and which you wouldn't (you should count them for the same things. For example, my husband would count my daughter if she poured milk from one cup to another. But I thought it was crazy to do that at every meal time and wasn't a big deal and didn't count her. The inconsistency was not good). There will always be situations you didn't plan for one way or the other, but when in doubt, count!

Good luck!