No hespedim at levaya

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Jul 20 2016, 10:18 pm

Was just notified about levaya tomorrow it said there would be no hespedim does anyone know why?

salt

Wed, Jul 20 2016, 10:40 pm

I recently learnt from a Chasidic colleague of mine, that in several Chassidic sects it is customary not to give hespedim. Unfortunately I can't actually remember the reason. Something to do with not praising someone too much, maybe evil eye, I'm just speculating now, I can't remember the reason she gave.
Maybe someone here who is more knowledgeable can expand.

yOungM0mmy

Thu, Jul 21 2016, 2:30 am

In Lubavitch we do not do hespedim at a Levaya. There are several reasons. The neshama is going to Olam Ha'Emes, where every single word must be completely authentic. Even a little exaggeration causes tremendous pain to the neshama, and may cause it to be judged on those words, and found lacking. Also, every delay in the kevurah also causes pain to the neshama, which is why we try to do it as soon as possible.

abound

Thu, Jul 21 2016, 3:03 am

yOungM0mmy wrote:

This is true for many. It is a long standing custom in many chassidish places.

amother

Wheat

Thu, Jul 21 2016, 5:06 am

They don't do hespedim in the small out of town community I live in either, unless the person is very chashuv. The community has mostly litvak roots.

People often say something one night at the shiva house - usually the children of the deceased.

greenfire

Thu, Jul 21 2016, 8:07 am

when there's no tachanun people don't give hespedim - but I do believe that is not the case in hand

amother

Slategray

Thu, Jul 21 2016, 8:19 am

yOungM0mmy wrote:

In Viznitz there are also no hespedim and they are very makpid on immediate kevura. Also, in some chassidus where there are hespedim there are no hespedim in certain months...

leah233

Thu, Jul 21 2016, 8:23 am

yOungM0mmy wrote:

I heard a similar explantion that we are scared of Kitrug on the deceased if we say s/he did things s/he didn't but easily could have. E.G If we are maspid a wealthy person as a baal tzedoka when compared to the amount of money he wasn't really so generous it can be a used as kitrug on him.