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Forum -> Household Management
Leaving housekeeper and dh in house alone



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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Thu, Jul 21 2016, 3:54 am
My dh works at home. Can I leave the house while my housekeeper is here? Is there any way to avoid yichud issues?
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MitzadSheini




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 21 2016, 4:29 am
AYLOR. Or rather, HE should AHLOR.

But the question is not about whether you are allowed to leave the house or not. That's all wrong.
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yOungM0mmy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 21 2016, 5:27 am
He can leave the front door ajar, or he can give someone else a key with the specific instructions that they can come in at any time. There are also those who say that if you are in town and can come back at any point (ie not on an overnight trip or have gone to the bungalow colony), then it's fine.
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WastingTime




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 21 2016, 6:20 am
Front door ajar may not help if he's out of view of the front door....
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Thu, Jul 21 2016, 9:22 am
amother wrote:
My dh works at home. Can I leave the house while my housekeeper is here? Is there any way to avoid yichud issues?


I would only worry if she's super-hot.
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Thu, Jul 21 2016, 10:07 am
of course AYLOR
- Leave door ajar - doesn't matter if anyone is visible it matters that the door is open
- have someone stop by unannounced occasionally.


Quote:
I would only worry if she's super-hot.


I feel really bad for you and your DH if you feel you can't trust your DH with some people based on looks.
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pmom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 21 2016, 10:35 am
this has nothing to do with looks. this has to do with halacha
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 21 2016, 10:43 am
DH is chassidish. When he was single, he always had a cleaning lady for the home, and in his one-man office, he had a female secretary.

He always kept the curtains wide open, and left the front door open a bit. The women never came to his apartment or office after dark, even in the winter. He was very careful about that. Midday was not a problem. This was on the advice of his rav.

Of course, AYLOR.
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amother
Babypink


 

Post Thu, Jul 21 2016, 10:44 am
yOungM0mmy wrote:
He can leave the front door ajar, or he can give someone else a key with the specific instructions that they can come in at any time. There are also those who say that if you are in town and can come back at any point (ie not on an overnight trip or have gone to the bungalow colony), then it's fine.

The way I recall learning it is that those are leniencies to let the wife stay home with another man but not the other way around.

I frequently have to leave my husband home alone with a babysitter (he works night shifts and sleeps during the day while I'm at work). My rav said to have a nannycam hooked up to my phone and give 2 neighbors the keys.
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amother
Denim


 

Post Thu, Jul 21 2016, 12:25 pm
You can arrange for your husband to meet clients or work outside of the home when the housekeeper is scheduled. Internet access is pretty ubiquitous so having access shouldn't be a problem. Or he can make arrangements to learn outside the home during those days.
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abaker




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 21 2016, 12:43 pm
I was just reading up on the laws of yichud. The laws apply even if your sure "nothing will happen" or the person is unattractive or elderly.

Op ask a rav but it's likely there will be specific instructions on how to proceed to make it halachically acceptable. (As others have posted about leaving door open etc)
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Thu, Jul 21 2016, 1:59 pm
abaker wrote:
I was just reading up on the laws of yichud. The laws apply even if your sure "nothing will happen" or the person is unattractive or elderly.

Op ask a rav but it's likely there will be specific instructions on how to proceed to make it halachically acceptable. (As others have posted about leaving door open etc)

Who would have imagined schwartzeneder and his housekeeper. His wife is so pretty especially compare to the housekeeper.
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octopus




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 21 2016, 8:32 pm
amother wrote:
of course AYLOR
- Leave door ajar - doesn't matter if anyone is visible it matters that the door is open
- have someone stop by unannounced occasionally.


Quote:
I would only worry if she's super-hot.


I feel really bad for you and your DH if you feel you can't trust your DH with some people based on looks.


And I learned that it has nothing to do with open or closed doors. That even if the door is open, but the husband knows that no one is going to be coming in, it is still a problem of yichud. I also really feel that yichud is in place as a protection for the woman. (although that is totally my own opinion, and there are certainly aggressive females around). Most housekeepers or cleaning women DO NOT want to be home alone with a male. Would you want to be in that position regularly?
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