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Spiritual tricks to deal with co-worker who drains energy?
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amother
Crimson


 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2016, 10:11 am
HonesttoGod wrote:
Generally people who work (especially if you are working full time) come home drained and tired and not much energy for anything else.

It seems to me that you are basing the fact that you are drained when you get home on your coworker. Who cares if you like her don't care about her or despise her. She is there. She is your superior. She has to teach you the job (as much as you may think you know, each lab works differently each office environment works differently you have to learn how things flow and who better to teach you than someone who has been there 8 years).

She has been there 8 years - for a reason. Obviously she is good at what she does or she would have been fired. Whether your personalities clash or not you have a lot to learn from her.

There is nothing wrong with being nice to her even if you don't like her. Smile, say good morning, stop focusing so much on what bothers you about her and focus about what you CAN do like help her out, listen to her advice, smile, make general chit chat, ask her how her commute was etc.

Now for when you get home, I am guessing you have a commute. It doesn't matter if it is 5 mintues or 35 minutes. Use that time to breathe. De stress. Listen to some music, read a book (if you are not driving), close your eyes and sleep (again only if you are not driving or walking). Before you step into the house STOP! Take 5 deep breaths. "shake it off" (as Taylor Swift says) and walk in with a smile.
Push yourself.

It is SO hard to come home tired, drained in all aspects, trust me I come home like that most days and I don't blame it on my coworkers. It is just the situation at hand. with a lot of reasons contributing. Push through. Once you have served supper, put the kids to bed, then you can lie down for a little and relax.

Also start going to bed earlier (and by bed I mean in PJS and asleep) at 9:30pm. Get a good nights sleep. Make sure to eat and drink well. Focus on what you CAN do and what is GOOD about what you are doing (what is making you a super mom/wife) and stop focusing on the bad things around you.
The negativity around you only makes you negative if you let it.


I don't deny that she's been there 8 years for a reason. She does know everything and she's good and I am there to learn. Full stop.
But when people ask me how I find my new position I start crying. It took me months to pinpoint that the problem is with her.
I've talked to others who used to work there and they told me similar stories. And I hadn't even told them mine but they just guessed because they had the same experience. One girl even told me that she even thought of quitting because of this coworker.
But then it changed and they became best of friends. She couldn't tell me what happened exactly, just that she gave birth after a year and when she came back she became friends with the coworker.
Now I'm not planning to give birth any time soon so I'm hoping that things will get better in time just by themselves.

And in the worst case, this is just a temporary position of 2 years and I don't have to stay on. It's just that DH told me that he can't live with this for 2 years with me being depressed over this
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gp2.0




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2016, 10:21 am
The best way to counteract negative energy that's creating a void within you is to focus on putting positive energy into the void.

Anytime throughout the day when you find that your energy is ebbing, find something positive to focus on - a small accomplishment at work, a project you're looking forward to, even small personal accomplishments involving yourself or your family.

Smile, start conversations, be friendly. Be the change you want to see. Put so much positive energy into the void that the negative energy is canceled out.

Another poster mentioned surrounding yourself with a bubble, that can be a very helpful mental exercise. Imagine that the bubble is made of bouncy tough plastic. Everything negative on the outside bounces off. Inside, you fill the bubble with positive thoughts and positive energy.

Look within yourself to figure out why your coworker is triggering you. You said that it's not anything she's doing, so she must be subconsciously reminding you of someone or something else that annoyed you in your past. If you can identify the actual person or situation in your past that is stirring up the negative energy, it will be easier to dismiss when you feel it, because you will realize it's just your mind playing a trick on you.

If you still find yourself with negative energy, you're going to need an enchanted wardrobe. The wardrobe is in your mind. It has elaborate carvings and two locked doors. Unlock the door. Inside the wardrobe, the shelves are filled with boxes. Some are empty, some are locked up tight. Gather the pesky wisps of negative energy from all over your body until you are holding tightly to a hard angry ball. Stuff the ball into the box. Close the box, lock it and put it on the shelf. Close the doors of the wardrobe and lock them. Take a minute to breath, relax and shake it off. The negative energy is locked away and it can no longer affect you. The next time you need to open the wardrobe, you might find that the box has emptied. If it's still locked, use a different box.
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amother
Crimson


 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2016, 10:27 am
Oh no, it definitely is stuff she's doing and saying!

Other than that, thanks a lot. That's really helpful.
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gp2.0




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2016, 10:32 am
amother wrote:
Oh no, it definitely is stuff she's doing and saying!

Other than that, thanks a lot. That's really helpful.


Youre welcome. Both the bubble and wardrobe are also very helpful with verbal negativity and negative actions. In those cases, what you are grabbing hold of is a memory. If you're caught in a loop reliving something she said or did that bothered you, you hold onto it tightly and put it in the box and lock it away. The idea is the same, it helps you distance yourself from the negativity.
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2016, 7:57 pm
Good luck OP!

some of the posts/ posters here make me want to start a SO about how to deal with online bullying and how to find spiritual tricks to deal with reading posts that drain me....
- I literally felt kicked in the gut by some of these.
Isn't posimg meant to be about helping pple- its not so much what you are saying but how...

What exactly is your goal ?
If its to help the OP then helping pple never works with a judgmental tone....

If theres no love and real willingness to help the OP why are uou posting?
I don't get it.
As a religious site for religious women I cant believe its ego.... Is it just unawareness?

I will report my own post so moderaters can read this thread that really seems to have stepped over to bullying

OP Hope you are able to fend off
The negative energy here
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trixx




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2016, 9:10 pm
amother wrote:
I don't deny that she's been there 8 years for a reason. She does know everything and she's good and I am there to learn. Full stop.
But when people ask me how I find my new position I start crying. It took me months to pinpoint that the problem is with her.
I've talked to others who used to work there and they told me similar stories. And I hadn't even told them mine but they just guessed because they had the same experience. One girl even told me that she even thought of quitting because of this coworker.
But then it changed and they became best of friends. She couldn't tell me what happened exactly, just that she gave birth after a year and when she came back she became friends with the coworker.
Now I'm not planning to give birth any time soon so I'm hoping that things will get better in time just by themselves.

And in the worst case, this is just a temporary position of 2 years and I don't have to stay on. It's just that DH told me that he can't live with this for 2 years with me being depressed over this


I don't know why OP has gotten bashed.. hasn't anyone been around someone who just drained them? One of my close friends is very sensitive to negative energy, in high school and seminary when I could just brush off a bad teacher or hostile/verbally abusive/tense class atmosphere (yes, there were several of those, believe it or not) she would break down in tears after every period and be in a horrible mood.

OP good luck and hope you got some good suggestions.
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Maya




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2016, 9:11 pm
trixx wrote:
I don't know why OP has gotten bashed.. hasn't anyone been around someone who just drained them? One of my close friends is very sensitive to negative energy, in high school and seminary when I could just brush off a bad teacher or hostile/verbally abusive/tense class atmosphere (yes, there were several of those, believe it or not) she would break down in tears after every period and be in a horrible mood.

OP good luck and hope you got some good suggestions.

The OP got bashed for being very rude to posters who were trying to help her, not because of her situation.
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gp2.0




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 27 2016, 9:21 pm
I think people misunderstood OP (myself included) because she didn't originally say anything specific that the coworker was doing that upset her, maybe she didn't want to get into specifics about the coworkers personality because it's lashon hara or whatever reason. Instead she's focusing on herself and how she can get rid of the negative feeling that is caused by the coworker.

Some people have very abrasive personalities and it's hard for others to like them, but once you get to know them (as in the case of OPs coworker who had a baby and then became friends with the negative coworker) you ignore or get used to the abrasive personality.

I worked in a horrible office environment once that had a rapid turnover of employees due to the crazy boss. But it was hard to pinpoint exactly what she did - she would say something in an even tone of voice, with a smile on her face, but her eyes were shooting daggers at you. Or she would act patronizing, or ask her employees to do demeaning, pointless things or treat them like servants and ask them to do things that weren't part of their job. (She had me carry home her dry cleaning for her. She asked me to organize 10 shelves of books in alphabetical order, then acted p*ssed when she couldn't find the book she wanted - which was in alphabetical order. She made me come into her office in the middle of a meeting so I would locate the book for her, smirking openly and rolling her eyes at the person she was having the meeting with.)
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Zus




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 28 2016, 7:25 am
Maya wrote:
The OP got bashed for being very rude to posters who were trying to help her, not because of her situation.


Ohh that's ok then! Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes
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