No concept of safety! VENT!

amother

Honeydew

Fri, Jul 29 2016, 12:16 am

I live in a neighborhood where safety isnt a concern for most. Its normal for a 4 year old to sit in the front seat, unbuckled, or even "help" his father drive down the block. I have seen carpool with not enough seat belts, forget about boosters, for 4 years olds.

Recently a neighbor was involved in a bad car accident. This family has a seat belt rule. There were injuries, but it is known that the seat belts saved them from disaster since it was a rollover.

I dont carpool anymore. I drive my kids everywhere.

Today DD went to a neighbor 4 houses down. Instead of sending her home they drove her home. She came home upset. She was told to go into the car, no seatbelts, and the mom drove with the car door OPEN!!!! I have seen this mom driving down the block with her car door open making car pool stops. Her door is automatic!!

I dont want to send DD to this house ever again.

boysrus

Fri, Jul 29 2016, 12:26 am

I can totally relate to your entire post. Unfortunately I have the same problem. Everyone in my neighborhood is like this too Sad

I can never carpool with any of my neighbors without my child coming home reporting to me that Mr So and so drove at 50 mph on a 30mph road, or that 'there werent enough seat belts so I couldnt buckle up.
I really hate this. Why do we need to wait for a bad accident to happen chas v'shalom before anything changes.? Sad

LittleDucky

Fri, Jul 29 2016, 11:58 am

Someone once asked me if I could drive her two kids (5 and 8 I think?) somewhere. I refused I didn't have space in the back for an extra car seat and booster seat. "Oh the 8 'year old doesn't use a booster and sits in the front. And for such a short ride the 5 year old can sit between the two car seats z(for my kids) and just put the belt behind him."
These weren't big kids either.
Oh no. I won't. I won't be responsible for their injuries in an accident just because their mom thinks it's ok. I couldn't live with myself. Plus all the legal issues.

And now I know someone else I won't carpool with.

singleagain

Fri, Jul 29 2016, 12:44 pm

amother wrote:

Today DD went to a neighbor 4 houses down. Instead of sending her home they drove her home. She came home upset. She was told to go into the car, no seatbelts, and the mom drove with the car door OPEN!!!! I have seen this mom driving down the block with her car door open making car pool stops. Her door is automatic!!

I dont want to send DD to this house ever again.

depending on DD's age and relationship with the neighbor... I wouldn't force a stop, (especially, if they are good friends etc)

but instead, teach DD to insist to call you for a pick up, instead of accepting the ride. you could even get her one of those five number kid cell phones, if she's in that age range.

or when you arrange the play date, say "I will pick DD up at this time."

I completely agree that it's madness to wait for an accident to happen before action is taken, but it would be a shame for DD to lose a friendship

amother

Honeydew

Fri, Jul 29 2016, 1:18 pm

singleagain wrote:

My dd is 4 years old. She can walk home by herself, they just needed to cross her. I live that close, 200 feet maybe. My block is a quiet dead end.

Playdates will be limited in my house for this friend, except for shabbos.

If I need to purchase a cell phone to send dc to friends house, then thats not a friendship I would encourage.

amother

Honeydew

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 9:11 pm

OP here:

So today DD(4) and I went on a walk. We saw the mom across the street. DD wanted me to talk to the mom about her "dangerous" drive home.

(dd has seen the mom drive on the block and asked me to talk to her, but I explained I cant flag her down)

I am clueless of what to say. I hate confrontations.

LittleDucky

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 9:27 pm

amother wrote:

Try not to be confrontational. Explain that you are not comfortable with ABC so if in the future after a play date please do XYZ or call me and I will pick her up.
Try to leave emotions out of it, stick to your wishes and don't lecture. It's not like she doesn't understand the issue of seatbelts or driving with the door open... So explaining that to her probably won't help.