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-> Parenting our children
amother
Coffee
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Sat, Jul 30 2016, 4:29 pm
my daughter, who is under 10 told me tonight that she hates herself. I have never heard her say that before. something had happened over shabbos and she was feeling a bit badly. but that has happened before. but she has never said that she hates herself before. it was terrifying to hear.
I know I have to get her to a children's psychologist so this is really just a vent, but if anyone has any words of encouragement or anything else, that would also help.
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amother
Gray
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Sat, Jul 30 2016, 5:01 pm
My dd (12))also says that at times, I think she's angry at herself for something. Moody too.
Have not gone to psychologist. It would scare her. Just show alot of love and encouragement and it may fade.
She smiles from ear to ear when I hug her and say how she's great. Must do it more often. And I mean a strong hug (like a squeeze)
best of luck!!!
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imasinger
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Sat, Jul 30 2016, 9:44 pm
Hugs. Been there.
Here's some of what we learned from child psychologist.
You can teach her other language. "It sounds like you're really frustrated/upset/disappointed right now."
The idea is to validate the negative emotion, while providing a different framework; one that is less dramatic, and more temporary.
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amother
Bisque
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Sat, Jul 30 2016, 10:29 pm
I used to say "I hate myself" a lot as a kid.
I never went to a psychologist, and am B"H fine.
A therapist is not a terrible thing, but pathologizing the child is.
I concur with recognizing that your DD needs better ways of reacting to when she makes mistakes.
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BasMelech120
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Sat, Jul 30 2016, 11:14 pm
Have you asked her 'why'? A lot of information may come forward after asking that simple question.
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