5 year old gets up numerous times a night

amother

Scarlet

Sat, Jul 30 2016, 11:29 pm

My 5 year old ds gets up numerous times each night. He comes crying and then sleeps nicely in mine or dh bed. If it's before I go to bed I lay with him till he goes to bed. He went to bed 2.5 hours ago and already woke up 5 times......it's getting to a point its not normal. I have made charts...prizes...it doesn't work. My 3 year old sleeps the whole night. Any ideas what I can do?

baschabad

Sat, Jul 30 2016, 11:48 pm

Did he sleep with you as a baby/toddler? Is he missing your presence? Or is this a new behavior?

Is he having nightmares that can prevented with a night light?

It's odd that he doesn't stay asleep for longer periods of time. Is he easily startled?

Charts and prizes probably won't help much if he has underlying problems.

amother

Scarlet

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 10:26 am

I have checked for pinwor ms when he complained it hurt him there and treated. Once in a while he will say he had a bad dream. Usually he just says I left his room and I am not allowed to I have to be on his bed all night. Once he comes to my room he sleeps the whole night no interruption.
Some nights are better than others and he only gets up once and comes to my room but lately it's more.

amother

Smokey

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 10:30 am

My son did this while being abused. He was having terrible nightmares but couldn't talk about it because he was too scared. Once the story came out, he was open about the reason he was so scared at night.
(This became clear only long after we blamed it on everything else: sensory issues that led us to OT, pinworms which we treated twice with no difference, possible childhood OCD and play therapy etc.)

amother

Khaki

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 11:18 am

At 5, he should be able to tell you why he needs you. Have you always had to lie down with him when he goes to sleep? If so, you need to stop. I can't tell you what the best way for you to stop (and don't want to be attacked here). If you're satisfied that he's fine, though, you could try Supernanny's technique. You tell hIm that you are changing the routine. You do a bedroom routine (bathroom, teeth, reading, Shema--whatever you want ) for about 15-20 minutes. You kiss him and put him in the bed . You're very matter of fact . You say it's time to go to sleep and you go out . Every time he comes out, you tell him it's bedtime and put him back in his bed . No kisses, conversation , just bed (I assume he can get to the bathroom alone.) it may take 2 hours for a couple of days but you just keep being matter of fact.
You can tell him that you'll leave his door open, a light on--whatever you think he needs. You can ask him during the day if there's something he'd like to change when you put him to bed but you can't vary your night routine and you can't indulge in conversations then. You can tell him, " I'll be in the kitchen, I'll be reading, I'll be talking to Abba" so he can visualize you . If he says he's not sleepy when you put him to bed , tell him that's ok , just to lie there and think about a happy place or time. Don't yell, argue, or negotiate at night. Just put him back.

amother

Scarlet

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 1:49 pm

I have to lay with both my kida at night. I have tried to just put them in and. Do it matter of factly but it's a disaster.
I am due any day though and think with the new baby I may just change it because I won't physically be able to lay with them. I am hoping the baby will help him for the better.