Tired of comments on DD's size

amother

Natural

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 11:53 am

I have a beautiful toddler, B"h, who is my only child. She's very tall for her age, but according to her doctor her height and weight are proportional and there's nothing unhealthy about it... she's just in the hundredth percentile on the growth chart. Well, people can't seem to control their reactions and comments when I tell them how old she is. I guess I can understand their surprise, but it's the people who react with this sense of horror that really bother me. How long before my daughter starts picking up on this and feels hurt, or embarrassed, or like there's something wrong with her? And how should I react to those people? They make me feel like I should apologize for her size, or give some kind of explanation as to why she's so big for her age. I won't go into some of the comments because it will just make me upset. Anyone have this issue and how do you handle it?

amother

Orange

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 12:12 pm

I totally empathize. My 3.5 yo is very big and we get lots of comments - including from my MIL. It doesn't seem to bother her but I do try to redirect when people bring it up in front of her. I am quite small and it has always bothered me so I try to make my daughter feel positive about her size. I tell her "by your Bat Mitzvah you are going to be taller than mommy! Tall people can reach things that are high up! You are lucky cause you are tall just like Abba!"

amother

Violet

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 12:35 pm

You can't win with this. They comment when your kid is "too big", they comment when your kid is "too small". Don't pay any heed, just keep telling her she's just right :-)

groovy1224

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 1:02 pm

Anyone with kids with a unique feature gets comments. My kids are all redheads, and neither me or my husband are, so ppl go crazy over that. I get questions everywhere I go.

It's annoying, but it's life. I can't censor other people, and ultimately they could be saying worse things. Smile and nod and say 'yep, she's a big girl. We love her.' Keep your reaction calm and neutral, and she will learn that she has nothing to be embarrassed about.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 1:33 pm

I hear you. DD is small for her age. When she was in 3rd grade, people would bend down to talk to her and say "Are you excited to be starting kindergarten?" Ooooh how she hated that!

I just reassure her that Hashem made her exactly the way she was supposed to be. I remind her that if everyone looked the same, how would we tell each other apart? How would you know who is your mommy and who is a stranger? How would you keep track of your friends? Isn't it smart that Hashem made us all different looking!

anonymrs

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 1:45 pm

My kids are "too small" and I get comments all the time. "what??? Are you SURE she's 5.5 yrs old? HOw could that be?" Like, no, I'm not sure how old my kid is. Or "Do you feed her ice cream and avocado every day?" Ummm, you KNOW she's dangerously allergic to dairy so why are you even asking?

I try to ignore as much as I can. Yes, I know it's hurtful and it can make you feel incompetent even if you know that your child is fine but you can't shut other people up (although I always wish I could.)

amother

Ecru

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 1:59 pm

I get you op, I also have tall dds. When ppl call
A girl "big" it sounds like an insult because that's not usually a compliment for a female. Just turn it around - yup she's so tall and beautiful!

amother

Natural

Sun, Jul 31 2016, 2:14 pm

Thanks for all the replies Smile

I know we can't control what other people say, I just want to make sure I'm handling their ridiculous comments in a positive way. Ecru you're so right. I feel like if I had a son and people commented on how big or tall he was, it would feel different. But I'm tall, and DH is also very big and tall, so I don't know what's so shocking that we'd have a tall daughter! We recently started telling her that eating certain foods will make her big and strong, and that it's a good thing to be strong and healthy... so hopefully we can use that next time someone says something about her.