School age/birthday cutoff

amother

Gray

Mon, Aug 01 2016, 10:21 pm

When did you send your child(ren) to school? For example a kid with a June or July birthday.. Is it possible for them to be held back a year so they can be the oldest in their class? Does that make sense? New to all this so just don't know how any of it works. Any clarification would be helpful, thanks!

BetsyTacy

Mon, Aug 01 2016, 10:34 pm

I dont understand the desire to make sure your kids are much older than the other kids--unless you are looking ahead to your kids playing in competitive sports leagues.

Think about this-how old do you want your child to be when s/he graduates highschool?

A June child who enters school at the correct age will graduate just at 18. Starting a year late means graduating at 19. If for some reason there is some less than smooth path down the road and things have to be pushed off, that would mean graduating at 20. To me 18 is regular, with 19 because of extenuating circumstances-even not tragic ones, but something like an extended case of mono. Graduating at age 20 to me puts someone in the category of special needs.

amother

Pearl

Mon, Aug 01 2016, 10:42 pm

I would hold back a kid for maturity or academic issues, not birthday cutoff.

That being said, I prefer not to send my children to school until they are reading on their own (usually 4 or 5), so that I don't have to worry that they will start off on the wrong foot. For whatever reason, reading fluency is a very big part of how kids will do academically in most Jewish schools.

I did send 2 of my children before they were reading fluently, and am not very pleased. The school pushed kriyah at their pace, not respecting the natural pace of my kids. One of them seems to have managed somewhat okay, but not as comfortable in my opinion as my other children, and the other is a very weak reader right now. IY"H this will eventually pass, but it's not a very positive start to formal schooling.

I will mention that we speak Yiddish at home, so my children have a natural desire to read Hebrew/Yiddish, which is presumably why they pick it up without much formal practice from me.

(Sorry got so off topic, I see this is a real soapbox issue for me...)

familyfirst

Mon, Aug 01 2016, 11:37 pm

I have a few kids whose birthdays are towards the cutoff date. I started them in preschool as the oldest in their class. Best thing I could have done for them.
Studies show that many successful people are of the older ones in their class. They start off with an academic and social advantage.
Trust your instincts. Unless your child is overly mature or tall I'd start them off as being one of the older ones.
Did this with many of my kids and have no regrets.
I only wish that I could have done this with one of my other children but her birthday is smack in between both cutoff dates.
Good luck. Worked for me and hope it does
For you too!

seeker

Tue, Aug 02 2016, 12:37 am

Here the cutoff is December/January so June wouldn't even be a question. Both my kids are close enough to the cutoff that I had this concern. One was academically precocious and there was no school that would have a suitable class with younger kids so I had to put her in as the youngest in the class. A couple of years in I am already very worried about her ability to keep up socially but there is still no better alternative. I hate being stuck like this. Maybe when we move... second dd looks like a similar situation but she's less precocious and more socially aggressive so it could go either way -she is still in pre k so we have another year to figure out where she's leaning.

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Aug 02 2016, 6:43 am

Where I am, cutoff is September 30 and I have a son with a September 16 birthday. I'm sending him to preschool this year because I think he'll do great. If I'm wrong, he'll repeat the year, at this age, he won't know the difference. My oldest is very academically precocious but socially immature. However, his birthday is in April, so we never considered "red shirting" (that's the term for what you're thinking of doing). He's doing well, because we and the school work with him on the social skills. I don't think June or July is a reason to hold back, unless there's something you're not sharing with us that would indicate a need to do so. Usually red shirting is a consideration for kids born September or later (iow after the school year starts). Also, I never got this "so my kid won't be the youngest". Somebody has to be the youngest! If people start holding back their June kids, the May kids will be the youngest, and then someone else is going to want to hold back heher May kid to avoid being the youngest, and where does it end?

BetsyTacy

Tue, Aug 02 2016, 6:51 am

Thank you amother pumpkin! My thoughts exactly. Do we want our kids to finish high school at 20 lechatchila? Aren't there enough years of school still ahead of them, especially nowadays when certain fields that used to require a BA or maybe a masters now require a Phd?

I don't think every kid should be pushed ahead, but someone has to be the youngest! What is the cutoff in your school that May would be even in the last quarter of the age appropriate year? Is it August 1?

Iymnok

Tue, Aug 02 2016, 8:32 am

ignore graduation age, ignore age within the class. Ask if your child is ready academically, physically, emotionally and by maturity. I kept my DD back. She is five months older than the cutoff date. we are very happy with our decision. First grade was easy for her academically so she spent the year learning how to be a responsible student and behave in a classroom.
If your child is ready and will be the youngest, dont hold them back.

MMCH

Tue, Aug 02 2016, 9:20 am

for preschool I wouldn't think about graduation!
I would think is my child ready to be in school right now? is he/she mature enough? can he she communicate his needs?
my oldest is october, and the cut off here is december 31.
didnt even hesitate for a second she needed to be in school, and yes shes one of the younger ones in the class but is bright and capable.
my second is january, so I dont have a choice with her, but she was also immature, and not ready for preschool , so now that shes 3.5 I sent her to camp, she is the oldest in the class, and shes thrilled and hopefully will do really well in school.

lfab

Tue, Aug 02 2016, 9:28 am

Where I live the cutoff is December 31st. I would only consider holding back a child based on birthday if they were born in December, or maybe late November. Even then I would likely give their social/emotion/academic maturity more weight then their birthday. My current youngest is an August baby and I have no plans to hold her back.