3 kids under 5- how to give them all attention

solo

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 2:26 am

I have a 5, 3, and 2 year old. I wish I had time for age appropriate play with each of them - puzzles, crafts, board games..- at least some times. It never works out. All 3 have short attention spans. None of them nap. my youngest is very active/ destructive, and wants very badly to be involved in whatever his older siblings are doing, and tantrums when he's not included in an equal manner. But after a 2 minutes of involving him in an activity he will start throwing pieces, ruining a setup, or will find something unrelated and destructive or dangerous to do on his own- pull a chair to the sink n start spraying water, ripping books...
so most of our play involves being outdoors, or making messes indoors. My 3&5 year olds cannot do a puzzle or turn take without me- maybe cuz we never get a chance to try. I'm expecting my 4th child very soon bzh. Are we just destined to never play constructively ever?

amother

Emerald

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 9:19 am

you can read them all an interactive book, sensory activities...

I have a 6 year old and a 2 year old and they each just do it on their own level,

they both love finger painting, playing with a sensory bin- flour and oil combined- makes a huge mess though so don't do it too often,

listening to me read a book, sometimes the book is more age appropriate for one and sometimes the other but it's the bonding time that they enjoy.

coloring- dd6 will color in the lines while dd2 will scribble

blowing bubbles, the two year old will try to pop the bubbles

my two year old also loves the kitchen sink and makes a huge mess- very annoying but sometimes it's worth it to just let it go and clean up afterwards.

I haven't baked with both but they both enjoy it.

It's great that you take them outside, it's so important at that age- that's something to be proud about!

lfab

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 9:27 am

I was in your place a couple of years ago. I had a 5, 4, an 2 year old when I gave birth to baby #4. My then 2 year old was also very active and into EVERYTHING! We couldn't do anything when she was around. But, to give you some hope, it does get better and easier. At this point my older kids are able to play nicely together while I can focus on keeping the youngest from ruining what they are doing. As they get a little older (even just a couple of years makes a huge difference) their attention spans will get longer, and your very active current 2 year old will likely calm down (at least some what). You may not be able to sit with them the whole time and play as you will still have a little one to watch, but since they can do more on their own they won't need as much of your attention to sustain an activity. I don't have any real advice other than to hang in there it does get better.

amother

Oak

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 11:11 am

Can you put your 2 yr old in a high chair and give him some of the activity to do by himself while you help the older 2. Let him get messy. Play dough, glue, finger paint with chocolate pudding. Put him in an old tee shirt. Then stick him straight in the bath when you are done.
Or is he the type that will get out of the high chair.

My 2 yr old GC loves to break everything the 4 yr old builds. I put him in the high chair with another activity when he does this. A lot of times it's something messy, like playing with homemade goop.
Then straight to the bath.
But he's afraid to get out of the chair by himself, which makes a world of difference.

wifenmother

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 12:28 pm

Are you doing bedtime for all of them simultaneously? You may want to stagger that, and give each child their individual 15-20 minutes of attention then. Once it's a routine they actually look forward to it.

And OP, remember that this too shall pass. I had a 4 year old, 3 year old and newborn at one time. Today, we can sit together and enjoy a good board game once the younger ones are in bed. It's hard for you now, but this stage won't last forever.

ora_43

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 12:31 pm

Outdoor play and making messes sound like great activities for those ages. Can you do some one-on-one time or "big kid" play time (board games, etc) when your husband is home? I think divide and conquer is usually easiest.

animeme

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 1:13 pm

I would check whether with the things they seem to need you for (puzzles, etc), they also need help when you're not there. They may just want your help when you're around. Do any of them go to school, playgroup, etc? They practice these things there too.