When is it sensory, when is it kvetching

amother

White

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 7:37 pm

My 14 yr old dd always had major sensory issues, particularly with food. It's beyond frustrating when we are in a restaurant and she orders a pasta and they bring her the order with a little bit of spices sprinkled on it and she announces she can't eat it. Another example would be when she makes herself pancakes in the toaster. She hates burnt food. If any part of the pancake is the SLIGHTEST bit burnt she won't have it. She likes gefilte fish. We were eating at someone a few weeks ago and the fish had a little carrots in it. She won't have it. I'm torn between feeling bad for her that she's so sensory with foods and wanting to yell at her to stop acting like a 3 year old. Which is it???

sourstix

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 7:43 pm

no no no dont tell her that. she has sensory issues. she cant handle certain textures. ask her how it feels in her mouth. she should be able to tell you why she doesnt like certain foods. I have a rule in my house. you have 3 foods you absolutely hate and wont eat. (it doesnt work with a sensory kid. please get her help. get her evaluated. it will be so much better for her. can people here help out with ideas for helping sensory children? I was told to let the person eat gum as it desensitizes the mouth. I dont remember what else. please OT help us out here.

does she have sensory in different areas? what are they? that can really tell you how bad it is.

ds has some sensory and I wish I took care of it earlier when boe would pay for it. I wasnt aware how it would affect him later. its just getting worse. so I am urging you to do something.

ra_mom

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 7:50 pm

Sensory issues are very hard. On the sensory individual as well as on the family.
At her age it's time for her to start transitioning into being able to handle her sensory issues on her own. Don't expect it to happen overnight but help her along.
When she gets to a restaurant and orders a dish, she should be able to ask on her own what the dish is like, without prompting. If the description sounds satisfactory to her, she should then be able to remember to ask that they don't sprinkle anything on top of the dish, neither black pepper nor herbs.
If she won't eat burned pancakes, then she needs to sit by the toaster and watch the pancakes as they warm so as not to cause bal tashchis and so she can make a meal for herself that she will enjoy.
If she doesn't like the gefilte fish with the blended carrots in it, she should skip that course and find something else to eat quietly on her own and without fanfare. If that means that all she will eat is challah so be it.
I had sensory issues as a child and thought I had outgrown them as an adult. Then I had children and my sensory issues "came back". I realized that I had not outgrown them, but instead, had learned to control my own environment as a teen and adult and managed just fine. (But bh then the kids came along and I could no longer control the environment around me Tongue Out

)
So know that it can be done. May the transition be smooth for all!