Deciding to make aliyah

amother

Olive

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 8:58 pm

Every once in a while we wonder if we took the path given to us by Hashem .. if we chose the better 'fork in the road'. We are at another fork in the road of life and wonder if making aliyah will bring us more brachah.
The last time this happened was about 10 years ago and life has been a struggle on so many fronts since then .. I was left wondering if we had taken the 'plan b' route.

My husband asked our Rav today while talking about other issues (job going south...)and the Rav said we should consider it, it may not be a bad decision for us to make.

My DH's biggest fear is the army. We'd be going with some older boys 22yo-17yo. I know some of them would handle it well, and one in particular not handle it well at all.
Just curious if others out there were in this situation now, or have gone through it.

TeachersNotebook

Mon, Aug 08 2016, 10:45 pm

Have you spoken to Nefesh b'Nefesh? You can call to talk to counselors individually about your unique situation. Although they are definitely an agency that promotes aliyah, they were able to tell us that aliyah was not right for us at this time (due to our personal situation).

Also, have you spoken to your sons about it to see what they say...?

Although you never know what would have happened if you took Plan B, it's hard to say that all your current struggles would have been better on the other route. Plan B also would have presented its own struggles, obviously, or it wouldn't have been "Plan B!" Consider the merits and demerits of each Plan separately.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 12:06 am

The kids who are 18 and over don't have to make aliyah with you. They can come on student or tourist visas and make aliyah separately. They will still have to go to the army, depending on their age and family status at the time of aliyah, but at least it will be their choice. Also they will be entitled to their own aliyah benefits.

Definitely consult with Nefesh B'nefesh.

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 1:55 am

What do your grown sons say? I know families that only made aliyah after their children were mostly grown and the older ones did not make aliyah with them.
I will tell you that a single male at those ages will most probably be drafted.

EBY

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 2:54 am

What about the army are they scared of? No one is forced into a combat position if they don't want to go. There are a lot of different jobs in the army that people don't think about - being a cook,driver, English teacher etc. I don't know if that was the specific concern... Yes, it is years out of your life but also an amazing opportunity to give to the Jewish people and a great way to integrate into Israeli society and culture.

amother

Aqua

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 3:32 am

Also if they are interested in programming there are opportunities in the airforce that basically provide free training and internship (airforce is considered elite so they get better accommodations as well) and then most are able to move onto the private sector and make nice salaries.

But there is no reason that they should have to enlist if they don't want to. They can stay in the states or come as students. If they are in yeshiva they can get דיכויים....

amother

Olive

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 8:16 am

Thanks, I think we'll look into Nefesh b'Nefesh when we have a list of questions compiled.
My kids are onboard with this idea to be honest. One is a bit hesitant, but I wouldn't leave one behind until I knew they were established properly.
My kids are the 'learning type', none will go into kollel, they'll prefer to work/study.
EBY, I feel the army makes responsible people and know that there are many jobs aside from front line combat....it's my DH that's the super nervous one.
If this comes to fruition, I'll let you all know.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Aug 09 2016, 9:31 am

Research, research, research! Read as many Aliyah blogs as you can find. Drive N b'N people crazy. Ask a million questions, and keep lists. It took me about 2 years of very hard work before we were ready to make the Big Move. Idealistically, I could have jumped on the next plane, but logically I had to do all of the groundwork first. I suspect that your DH is the same way.

One thing I love about N b'N, is that they will not try to talk you into making Aliyah if it is not going to be a good fit for your family right now. They are very realistic and down to earth, because they want every story to be a success story. Having good numbers is how they get their funding, and if too many people can't make it here, they won't get the financial support they need to operate.

Most importantly, daven for clarity, and that your path should be clear and revealed, with as few obstacles as possible.