Kelly dorfman e.a.t. w/picky eater

amother

Puce

Wed, Aug 17 2016, 11:56 pm

I'm about to start Kelly Dorfman's (author of Cure your child with food) E.A.T. plan with a 7 yr old very picky-eater child. Anybody had success with this?
I like her idea of just 1 (additional) bite of a new food for couple of weeks (to give the child predictability to lesson their stress with it) & also that it doesn't have to be a (deal-breaking) problem as I used to see it if my child is oppositional or is almost gagging. She contrasted (maybe a tendancy of our culture?) to stop there & just give up, whereas Mexican mothers for instance, just to give a sharp contrast - I love this - out of love for their children and a big love for their culture's cuisine, will rub a little hot sauce on the young children's lips to get them used to the spiciness; they don't like it at first, but over time it's helpful & this is just a very important part of their culture. (I like how it gives the kids a message of their being durable, you know? Obviously there's secret neccesary, but I think I've made the mistake a lot of the time of "misplaced rachmanus". Anyhow)

Additionally, I like her emphasis on the parent needing to be calm. I innocently used to get pretty upset and have occasional power struggles w/ this child over food (I admit it, you know? - even though I feel I should know better to not make meals so tension filled). So this approach emphasized having a cool & calm conviction about it all, with follow through to the new rule (with a "when/then" approach: "when you eat a bite, then you may [rewarding activity of choice]" & if thry dont,then they miss it. I may have to up the anti, but all I can do is try - no power-struggle forcing here!) so that my child has a strong yet firm parent behind this all.

This feels really right for me, & wondering if anybody is doing this or has done this, or maybe is interested themselves & wants to dialogue about it.

Ashrei

Thu, Aug 18 2016, 12:07 am

I have never heard of this but appreciated your post, it sounds very interesting.

As for the cool/calm/conviction principals, I love that. I try to apply it in general - it's so HARD! They wear you down! But I'm a strong believer in it and I hope it carries over into every boundary you set and decision you make. Over time, it makes for a lot less stress for the kids when they know Mommy's got it covered, and see you as a strong role model too, all from this outlook and attitude towards your relationship with them.

Hatzlacha on all your efforts!

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 18 2016, 12:18 am

Amen, thank you!
Ya, with me not getting 'caught up in it' with them... (easier said than done Smile

) but overall, it's a direction where the kid has more of "a space" to settle down. It takes two to get into a power struggle. Only one? No power struggle. I know that's a big chinuch concept, but some how in "trouble spots", issues often have the illusion of being important enough to over ride rapport! So much easier to parent just theoretically... Smile