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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
So I decided to be selfish...



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amother
Babyblue


 

Post Wed, Aug 17 2016, 3:00 pm
...and went away for 2 days with my Dh on his business trip. while he was at work I just shopped, went to spa, just relaxed and then at night we go out for supper. My kids are in day camp all day and I have 2 babysitters working round the clock during the times they're home. 1 dd actually slept by friends both nights but is home for meals and during the day while not in camp, she's very happy. Other dd is a teenager and keeps complaining that I need to come home asap. Was I really so selfish and terrible? I last left them 2 1/2 years ago when I had ds and was in the hospital and then rested by my mother for a week.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 17 2016, 3:03 pm
They actually sound really selfish to me. A little kid is one thing, but a teenager to begrudge her mother two days vacation???
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chagru




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 17 2016, 3:03 pm
Definitely do not feel guilty. Children have a way of making you feel guilty when you go away. There is nothing selfish about going away for two days, specially as kids are entertained and you have good baby sitters in place. Enjoy the remaining time you have there, cause once you home, it's forgotten!
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 17 2016, 3:39 pm
Selfish??? You need to enjoy life too! You did a great thing for yourself.
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amother
Rose


 

Post Wed, Aug 17 2016, 3:46 pm
Was your teen dd complaining because she's in charge of watching the younger kids?
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amother
Babyblue


 

Post Wed, Aug 17 2016, 4:39 pm
Op here

Thank you, I appreciate being told I deserve a 2 day break.

Dd was not in charge of younger kids, I have a full time babysitter 24-7, plus an extra one came to take little kids swimming and play with the kids after day camp, read books and tuck into bed. Dd job was to go across the street to pick up pizza for supper (which she didn't do, extra babysitter did it) and go to grocery across street since delivery came and 1 item was missing.

One of younger siblings is nagging her so she's getting annoyed.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 17 2016, 4:39 pm
taking a vacation is as important as eating or sleeping ... it's necessary in order to carry on ~ good for you !!!
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 17 2016, 4:40 pm
Teens like to complain. Don't let it get to you. She'll live.
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 17 2016, 4:54 pm
You did the right thing! Teenagers are selfish in their own ways and blame their parents and try to make their parents feel guilty. It's possible she was slightly jealous that you were going to have fun and she couldnt join. Some teenagers think they are on the same level as adults and deserve the same privileges. She'll live and learn!!!!
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 17 2016, 5:34 pm
Oh, the drama of teens!

Sympathize with the sibling annoyance, and thank her for putting up with it, and for getting the one item.

Ignore the rest.

Or tell her, "cheer up, Cinderella, I'll be back soon.
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Queen6




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 17 2016, 8:28 pm
No. you are not selfish - Mom is in charge and makes the rules. You did not abandon her - you just away fir two days she can learn to live with it
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acemom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 17 2016, 9:17 pm
Yeah, teenagers have a way of making you feel guilty about relaxing...

Good for you! I wouldn't call that being selfish at all!
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rachel6543




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 17 2016, 9:30 pm
Good for you for being "selfish" and getting a much needed vacation!!!! It sounds well deserved.
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momtra




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 17 2016, 11:01 pm
Selfish? No.
Strong and smart? Yes!
We should all take a page from your book and take care of our needs while taking care of everyone else's!
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hila




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2016, 2:16 am
Enjoy your break. They will survive very nicely.
And make sure you buy little presents for all of them, so they encourage you to go away again Wink
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5*Mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2016, 6:05 am
I think it's great that you're taking some time for yourself! I don't think you're selfish and I also don't think your teen is selfish. I think she - wait for it - is as unsettled that you're gone as a smaller child would be. That doesn't mean you shouldn't have gone but that doesn't mean she's selfish either. It's a good sign. She's your child and she wants you close (but of course she can't say it in quite that way, she's a teenager after all). It's okay. She can have her feelings and you can have your vacation.
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cbg




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2016, 11:03 am
Please don't feel guilty.
You'll end up needing a vacation from the guilt.
Enjoy
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bigblueyes




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 18 2016, 1:44 pm
I think its great you got away, and I strongly advise you only pick up calls if it's a true emergency. No need to be talking to home the whole time!
The babysitter has your number, you will see if she calls.
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