Did you land and say- what did I just do??

amother

Mint

Mon, Aug 22 2016, 10:02 pm

When my parents made aliyah they did that ... they got to their rented house and it was locked. They person with the key 'would be right back'. My mother said that she sat down on the curb side with all their luggage and cried. They've been there for almost 20 years and love it. There was an adjustment period.

We're contemplating making aliyah now ourselves ..... I've been for it for years and now my dh is thinking it's a good idea too. Kids are all on board too. We'll see what happens...

amother

Silver

Mon, Aug 22 2016, 10:08 pm

It also doesn't help making this huge decision watching the crazy politics going on here and dh making his comments about- there is going to be a wall and no one will be able to get in or out. He is just teasing- but it freaks me out. Plus dh would have to travel probably the first year every 2 weeks or so- then I would really be alone- and since I know I am not good at change, not sure if I don't have him home as support I can do this.

hila

Tue, Aug 23 2016, 12:51 am

I dont know where you are - but you need a support group. Once you get to know some neighbours things will seem less overwhelming.

Take a deep breath. And if you are in Jerusalem or the Gush - let me know and be my friend.

Would you like to come for Shabbat this week?

As for politics - the US politics are NOT crazy ? (not that I know if you are from the USA)

There is a Hebrew word - לזרום - to go with the flow. Life is good here. There are some bumps. Just accept that.

Hatslacha

FranticFrummie

Tue, Aug 23 2016, 1:04 am

Keep posting here, and we'll be more than happy to guide you.

I'm still in my honeymoon phase with Israel, but I'm sure that the "OMG" phase will hit in a year or two (or so I'm told).

DH is having a much harder time than I am, but that's because I dumped the responsibility of handling all of the paperwork on him. His Hebrew is much better than mine, so he deals with leases, bills, banking, etc. The bureaucracy here is a nightmare.

Nefesh b'Nefesh is a lifesaver. I run to them with every little problem, and they are very fast to get back to me. Get on the Facebook forum for your community, and you'll be welcomed like a long lost family member. The N b'N Yahoo group is useful, but not nearly so much as the FB group. Another good FB group is "Keeping Olim in Israel", where they help you troubleshoot issues, and you can vent a little.

What I really love about living here, is that if you have a question, all you have to do is ask. Israelis LOVE to give help and advice! It's like everyone here is your bubbe, and they are just dying to tell you what to do (sometimes even if you don't ask). LOL

heidi

Tue, Aug 23 2016, 1:51 am

amother wrote:

I am terrible at change. Like when my roommate and best friend moved out of our apartment to get married I cried for two weeks. That kind of terrible.
My response to aliyah was somehow different. I just started going and didn't stop. Got the kids into schools and did all the bureaucratic stuff-- took lots and lots of down time the first year-- there were several times that the kids just didn't go to school-- especially on a Sunday and we all just chilled. DH commuted for two weeks a month. I managed with the support of several friends (new and old) in the community.
Though I wouldn't wish a first year of aliyah on even my worst enemy, ten years down the line, I have to say, it was sooo worth it. I am so happy with how my kids seem to really have a purpose in life-- they understand about kedushat eretz yisrael and our chiyuv to settle the land. I have a fulfilling job, and DH has cut down his commuting to several times a year. People here, while they can be quite obnoxious, are also real and kind and there's much less fakery than you see in America. And now there's Children's Place and Osher Ad and Gap!!
I think it's worth taking the leap.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Aug 23 2016, 3:11 am

I also find that attitude is everything, and I don't mean "thinking positively".

I have the tendency to rush into things with rose colored glasses, and to be excited about all the good things that change can bring. This time, I chose to be uber realistic, and do just the opposite.

I came to Israel fully expecting it to be really, super hard. I expected to feel lost, confused, scared, and lonely. I expected DD to have a terrible time, and to come home from school crying more often than not. I expected to be helpless, and to fail miserably in ulpan. I read every Aliyah blog I could find, and expected every bad scenario to happen to me.

When far less than half of these things happened, I felt extremely lucky and grateful! Sometimes, low expectations are the right way to approach things. Wink

essie14

Tue, Aug 23 2016, 6:24 am

There are a LOT of tears involved in making aliyah. A LOT. But it's been the best decision I have ever made. All changes are hard. If you moved to a new city in the US, it would also be challenging. Of course, aliyah means basically starting your entire life anew.
If your husband will really not be around much and you don't do well with change, you might want to reevaluate. Or make sure you have some kind of support system for when he is not around. You are going to have MANY moments of "What did I just do?" but it subsides.

Tel Tzion Ima

Tue, Aug 23 2016, 6:40 am

I made aliyah before I was married, so I was in a different phase of life at the time. I did also move states in the US before moving here, and I can say it wasn't that different. Even within the US you can deal with "culture shock" and confusion with bureaucracy.

I think if you're interested in making aliyah, you shouldn't let your fears discourage you. There's so much research you can do while still in America to help yourself acclimate for once you get here. From what I hear, Nefesh B'Nefesh and AACI are really helpful. You can research communities, research about the day-to-day bureaucracy that you'll have to deal with.

And once you are here, with email, skype, etc. it's so much easier to keep in touch with friends/family in the states compared to 10 or 20 years ago.

sprayonlove

Tue, Aug 23 2016, 8:54 am

The first year I felt like "what did I do?!" all the time and cried a lot and was very homesick. By the second year I already was feeling much more settled and better. Now in my 3rd year I'm really happy and I definitely wouldn't move back! And I'm sure after 10 years I'll be even more happy. Very Happy

What helped me enjoy living in Israel more was learning Hebrew. once I learned Hebrew everything changed. In the beginning yes it is really hard and I am a person who does not do well with change but if you stick it out it really does get better!! Good luck in whatever you decide.