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Forum -> Children's Health -> Toilet Training
Doesn't seem to ever make poop in the toilet, only underwear
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2016, 5:54 am
I am surprized your ot didnt mention sensory. why dont you mention the sensory aspects to her? get a detailed list of sensory issues maybe even online and see if any of them match your ds. and work from that.
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2016, 5:56 am
I dont know about sensory diet. but he might need a good GI and recheck with your ot what she has to say. can you tell any sensory issues? with food or clothes?
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amother
Puce


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2016, 8:30 am
DD just got over this. She was pishing fine, but poop never made it in the toilet.
Someone told me that I have to motivate her more - it has to be so so super exciting that it's worth it to make in the toilet. This person gave her kid and entire big chocolate bar for pooping in the toilet. Another friend brought her kid to the bakery to choose something every time he pooped.

What worked for us was buying a bag of gummies in the candy store - worms and other cool treats that DD never gets and she was allowed to choose 2 every time she pooped in the toilet. Also, I night trained her and once she was out of diapers at night she stopped having accidents by day. It took a few weeks but B"H it worked.
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Tel Tzion Ima




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2016, 9:29 am
amother wrote:
DD just got over this. She was pishing fine, but poop never made it in the toilet.
Someone told me that I have to motivate her more - it has to be so so super exciting that it's worth it to make in the toilet. This person gave her kid and entire big chocolate bar for pooping in the toilet. Another friend brought her kid to the bakery to choose something every time he pooped.

What worked for us was buying a bag of gummies in the candy store - worms and other cool treats that DD never gets and she was allowed to choose 2 every time she pooped in the toilet. Also, I night trained her and once she was out of diapers at night she stopped having accidents by day. It took a few weeks but B"H it worked.


Thanks. He actually just had a conversation with my mother this afternoon about using the toilet. Bubby said, "Poopy goes in the toilet." My son said, "In the underwear." Bubby, "Underwear is supposed to stay clean." My son, "No not."
I think if he can have that conversation, then it's my indication that he's not motivated versus he just doesn't get it. My kids come in the stubborn variety. I've just made up my mind that I'm making a two-pronged attack. One, he'll get treats (or at least a lot of attention - I literally have no money to buy treats) when he makes poop in the toilet. And when he poops in his underwear, there will be a punishment. (I wouldn't care about the occasional accident. I care bcse it's consistent and it will become a social issue for him once he starts school.)
We stopped using diapers at night Friday night bcse we ran out and had no money to buy more. He's been waking up dry, but his older sister who had also been in diapers at night is waking up wet. At least she's managed to stop having accidents during the day. Now I'm digressing again...
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lakewood mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2016, 9:41 am
My daughter did the same thing... Eventually she stopped... No tricks to share... But know that it's "normal"
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2016, 9:45 am
No advice here, but wanted to share that my 3-year-old is the same. He's completely trained for urine - day and night- but poops only in his underwear. And he's also starting gan this week. He has no sensory issues and is very verbal, so there's no obvious reason for it with him. He's my 9th child toilet training and I didn't have this iwth any of the others. I'm hoping time will do it, and until then, I guess I'll have to keep going to gan to change him if he has accidents there.
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2016, 9:52 am
we had similar issues, and it was constipation. speak to your regular pediatrician about this. pooping 4-5 times a day is not standard. keep track of it for a few days (write down what he does when) and talk to his doctor about it.

as for sitting long enough, have him sit backwards on the toilet and put toys on the tank. he can play there. alternately, read him a book, let him watch a video on a phone/tablet, or give him a magna-doodle for toilet use only. make sitting fun.
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Tel Tzion Ima




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2016, 9:58 am
mummiedearest wrote:
we had similar issues, and it was constipation. speak to your regular pediatrician about this. pooping 4-5 times a day is not standard. keep track of it for a few days (write down what he does when) and talk to his doctor about it.

as for sitting long enough, have him sit backwards on the toilet and put toys on the tank. he can play there. alternately, read him a book, let him watch a video on a phone/tablet, or give him a magna-doodle for toilet use only. make sitting fun.


Four to five times is not a regular occurrence. That was once or twice. It's usually 1 to 3 times a day or a day or two without. His pooping habits aren't any different from my other kids, just they poop in the toilet. And the other kids have been constipated from time to time, so I know what that looks like. One of them was referred once to a GI by the pediatrician. He doesn't have a hard time making, nor is it dry and hard.
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2016, 10:03 am
Tel Tzion Ima wrote:
Four to five times is not a regular occurrence. That was once or twice. It's usually 1 to 3 times a day or a day or two without. His pooping habits aren't any different from my other kids, just they poop in the toilet. And the other kids have been constipated from time to time, so I know what that looks like. One of them was referred once to a GI by the pediatrician. He doesn't have a hard time making, nor is it dry and hard.


my kids' poop was never dry or hard, it always seemed normal to wetter. that's why I didn't ask my pediatrician about it for a long time. it's worth asking about. if it is constipation (which could be psychological, btw, common in kids that age), it's a fairly easy fix. we did miralax daily for months, sitting time daily for half an hour before bedtime. it worked really well. all three of my kids needed this. they all outgrew the issue.
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Tel Tzion Ima




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2016, 10:23 am
mummiedearest wrote:
my kids' poop was never dry or hard, it always seemed normal to wetter. that's why I didn't ask my pediatrician about it for a long time. it's worth asking about. if it is constipation (which could be psychological, btw, common in kids that age), it's a fairly easy fix. we did miralax daily for months, sitting time daily for half an hour before bedtime. it worked really well. all three of my kids needed this. they all outgrew the issue.


When my six year old was constantly wetting herself from 3.5 on wards, everyone said check her for UIT. We did, and she didn't have one. That was never the reason. She didn't want to be bothered to go to the toilet and didn't mind being wet. Incentives never worked with her. For example, every time she made on the toilet she got a treat. By lunchtime she had half a dozen treats, so then the rest of the day she just pished in clothes over and over bcse she already got treats and didn't care whether she got more.

So although I'll keep constipation in mind, I think my kids are strong willed and don't do things if they don't want to.

If he sat on the toilet when he felt the need to make, it wouldn't take any longer than when he pishes.

At this point, I've really decided positive reinforcement when he makes on the toilet and negative consequence when he doesn't. Starting Thursday when he starts gan, it's going to be a social issue for him if he's making regularly in his underwear.
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2016, 10:37 am
Tel Tzion Ima wrote:
When my six year old was constantly wetting herself from 3.5 on wards, everyone said check her for UIT. We did, and she didn't have one. That was never the reason. She didn't want to be bothered to go to the toilet and didn't mind being wet. Incentives never worked with her. For example, every time she made on the toilet she got a treat. By lunchtime she had half a dozen treats, so then the rest of the day she just pished in clothes over and over bcse she already got treats and didn't care whether she got more.

So although I'll keep constipation in mind, I think my kids are strong willed and don't do things if they don't want to.

If he sat on the toilet when he felt the need to make, it wouldn't take any longer than when he pishes.

At this point, I've really decided positive reinforcement when he makes on the toilet and negative consequence when he doesn't. Starting Thursday when he starts gan, it's going to be a social issue for him if he's making regularly in his underwear.


ok, I hope it works out easily for you. good luck!
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amother
Puce


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2016, 12:33 pm
Be careful with the negative consequences as it can be negative attention, which crazilly enough, kids find exciting. So the negative consequence can actually encourage him to have more accidents.
I realized this with DD, so I dropped the negative except for saying in a neutral voice: oh you had an accident? Ok, take off your pants.
She would say, but it's wet! and I would say, yes it's uchy, but you need to change it.
I would help her, but I did encourage her to "change" herself and when she realized how yucky it felt, it also encouraged her to stop.
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Tel Tzion Ima




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2016, 12:41 pm
amother wrote:
Be careful with the negative consequences as it can be negative attention, which crazilly enough, kids find exciting. So the negative consequence can actually encourage him to have more accidents.
I realized this with DD, so I dropped the negative except for saying in a neutral voice: oh you had an accident? Ok, take off your pants.
She would say, but it's wet! and I would say, yes it's uchy, but you need to change it.
I would help her, but I did encourage her to "change" herself and when she realized how yucky it felt, it also encouraged her to stop.


No, the negative consequence will be more along the lines of he loses a privilege. For example, when everyone else has their morning cup of chocolate milk, he won't. When he asks for his, he will be reminded that he's not having bcse he made in his underwear.
So it's two fold, when he makes in the toilet, he'll get treats/privileges and when he makes in his underwear, he'll lose treats/privileges.
Negative consequences don't have to equal negative attention.
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Tel Tzion Ima




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2016, 12:42 pm
Tel Tzion Ima wrote:
No, the negative consequence will be more along the lines of he loses a privilege. For example, when everyone else has their morning cup of chocolate milk, he won't. When he asks for his, he will be reminded that he's not having bcse he made in his underwear.
So it's two fold, when he makes in the toilet, he'll get treats/privileges and when he makes in his underwear, he'll lose treats/privileges.
Negative consequences don't have to equal negative attention.


And he's probably been getting too much negative attention when he has accidents, so that has to stop. It's more DH that goes on and on about the accidents, but he'll be back in yeshiva next week, and I don't comment on it as much. I just clean up the mess and move on.
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amother
Puce


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2016, 1:20 pm
The negative consequence I gave was, "oh no you can't get your treat because you didn't make in the toilet."
That's hard enough for a little kid. I wouldn't take away the chocolate milk that all his siblings are getting.

(By the way, after a while, I realized that DD really like dried apricots and once she was basically not having any accidents we gave her that instead of the candy. As of a few days ago, she has been forgetting to ask for a treat afterward and it seems to be phasing out.)
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Sun, Aug 28 2016, 3:25 pm
Op please let us know how your ds is doing after you try this. hatzlacha on overcoming this challenge.

I tried all the consenquences and goodies and none worked.
I had to put ds on meds and take him to a top therapist that bh was able to get through to him. nothing I did on my own worked.
I hope it works for you. and btw ds is a bright smart child. has adhd too. and sensory. it was a behavioral thing that made it get so bad.
Ds also had severe constipation from way before this even as young as a couple of months he had constipation and was on miralax. then we stopped cause we thought we were over. then at 2.5 we trained him and thought he is ok.

When he was about 4.5 it started and I had no clue about any of this. at 5 it became worse and worse and at times was so bad. he had bad times and good ones. I wasnt even aware of such issues. I didnt realize how crazy this can get. by the time he was 6 years old I realized this is more then just normal constipation. and a gi I went to was supposed to help but wasnt helpful until I moved to new jersey and I went to the top gi in CHOP and they were finally able to help me.
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