3rd Birthday: Lighting Shabbos Candle, other traditions?

sweetpotato

Tue, Aug 30 2016, 11:58 am

BH my older daughter will be turning 3 right after Y"K. We had always planned to have her start lighting a candle on Shabbos when she turns 3-- she's been asking to light for a long time and knows its coming up. This has made me want to know: How common is it to have a girl start lighting at age 3? I know it's universal for Chabad and it was important to the Rebbe, but it is a universally Chassidish minhag? Are there other ages? Does anyone know where the minhag originates? I'd love to hear what you do.

In our case, neither my husband nor I come from frum backgrounds, but his family is pretty traditional and his mother always told him their minhag was to have girls light at age 3, which is what his sister did. But I don't know where this originated from, in their case, if it truly goes back or was something that was adopted more recently.

Second: does anyone do anything else special for a girl for the 3rd birthday, besides Shabbos candles? Both minhagim or special posukim or songs (if they exist) or simply anything special you chose to do, if you marked this birthday in a unique way.

I'm going to ask a rav but I'd like to hear what other people do!

pesek zman

Tue, Aug 30 2016, 12:29 pm

My Hisband isn't Chabad or chassidish at all. He was raised MO but his sisters starting lighting Shabbos candles at 3 and he wants our (20 month old) daughter to do the same when she Iyh turns 3.

amother

Papaya

Tue, Aug 30 2016, 1:50 pm

We're chasidish. Among our siblings there are those that associate with a number of different chassidusen, none of which have the minhag for a girl to start lighting candles before they get married. Growing up I always knew this was unique to Chabad, so it's interesting for me to hear that there are others that do it as well.

There are those whose girls get their own negel vaser cups, and start wearing tights and long sleeves as they believe that this is the age at which the obligation of chinuch starts.

sweetpotato

Tue, Aug 30 2016, 3:12 pm

amother wrote:

Thanks amother and pesek zman. Interesting! I sort of assumed this was done elsewhere in the chassidish world, but maybe not.

I like the idea of a negel vasser cup.

Raisin

Tue, Aug 30 2016, 6:10 pm

Its the age when chinuch begins so you can start on all sorts of mitzvos. Eg a kids siddur, her own decorated tzedaka box (that could be a party activity), an apron to help mummy bake challah, etc.