Kids run around like wild monkeys in store

amother

Seagreen

Wed, Sep 07 2016, 10:57 am

Help! This is so embarrassing. My 5 year old and 2 year old are normally very well behaved. My 5 year old is smart and outgoing bh. My 2 year old is a friendly sweetheart bh. But I guess I don't take them shopping enough, because once every few months when we go shopping in a store, grocery or clothing or anything it's a disaster. Most of the time I just order online.

They run around up and down the aisles, laughing and shrieking, chasing each other, being loud, obnoxious and did I mention the running?

Nothing I do or say seems to help. It's like they're monkeys who were released from a zoo and can be wild for the first time ever. I don't understand it and I have no idea how to make them stop! HELP

Chayalle

Wed, Sep 07 2016, 10:59 am

You need to talk to them about behaving in a store BEFORE going. Tell them that if they will not behave you will leave the store without purchasing anything (and your purchases might include some items that interest them.)

I once did this when my teens were young - they were not behaving so I told them we have to leave and come back a different time. After that they behaved.

amother

Seagreen

Wed, Sep 07 2016, 11:02 am

Chayalle wrote:

That's exactly what I did. Dh was with me so I said if they won't behave they have to leave. He took them to wait outside and I stayed to shop. I didn't buy them anything. They didn't care. They were too busy running around outside like banshees instead. At least outside its socially appropriate. Maybe they're just too young to go shopping in stores. Confused

zigi

Wed, Sep 07 2016, 11:27 am

keep on going, warn them before how do we act in a store. give a reward for good behavior, eventually they will learn. also explain what you mean, no running etc. have them help you can you find the peas what kind of cookies do you like etc

mha3484

Wed, Sep 07 2016, 11:37 am

I would have the two year old in the cart or stroller. I don't think most two year olds are able to behave yet. As for the five year old I have this issue too. We talk about rules in advance before any store, park or social outing. He knows when we go shabbos shopping what nosh he can choose and that if he gets whiny he wont get any. I let him be the helper and choose things, bend down, unload the cart onto the belt to pay etc. I think it takes practice and lots of talking but slowly they figure it out. Also at the end of the day, he is 5 not 15. Realistic expectations is the most important part.

Rubber Ducky

Wed, Sep 07 2016, 11:41 am

In addition to prepping beforehand,
Divide and conquer!
Try taking one child at a time so you can practice store etiquette with each one individually.

After each one learns to behave in the store, you can take both.

amother

Seagreen

Wed, Sep 07 2016, 11:49 am

Ok thanks. I'm hearing I need to work on this but it's normal behavior. I was so embarassed it seemed like my kids were the only ones acting up and other kids were just quietly standing near their parents...there was another kid having a tantrum because he wanted a toy and my kids have never done that so I guess everyone has their struggles. I just felt so bad for the other shoppers and I'm sure they were all judging me for being a terrible parent.

mha3484

Wed, Sep 07 2016, 11:55 am

We do what rubber ducky suggests also because its a great way to spend quality time with each kid. DH will go with the toddler during the day when I am at work and some weeks I take older DS with me alone. Neither of us like to take both alone when we can help it so either we all go or we go with one kid and one parent.

naomi2

Wed, Sep 07 2016, 6:53 pm

Totally normal!
try putting the 2 yr old in the cart. Maybe I'd they are separated they won't feed off each others energy
Just repeating what mha3484 said. Great post.

amother

Brown

Wed, Sep 07 2016, 7:44 pm

Rubber Ducky wrote:

Exactly what I do.... I have 3 boys and when they are in stores together they act like wild monkeys!! I now only take one or 2 at a time and will not even bother going shopping with all three as I have had too many embarassing episodes no matter how much I spoke to them beforehand .. If I need them for shopping will have DH sit in the car while I take them in one at a time .

yogabird

Wed, Sep 07 2016, 7:56 pm

Every time I see a parent shopping with more than one kid I give them a hats off in my head. They are brave heroes in my eyes. For those that don't take their kids shopping, when do you do your shopping?

amother

Brunette

Wed, Sep 07 2016, 8:09 pm

mha3484 wrote:

Most of us don't have this luxury and are stuck with all the kids all the time.

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Sep 07 2016, 8:31 pm

yogabird wrote:

I do about 95% of my shopping online. Also, I'd rather do without then drag a bunch of kids to get one or two missing ingredients, so I just don't make those kinds of trips.

manhattanmom

Wed, Sep 07 2016, 8:46 pm

I would take them more often and give them jobs. Have one of them hold your list--or a copy of your list if you really need it. Ask them to look for particular items--while your toddler is strapped into your shopping cart. Give your older one a dollar to hold onto and have him help you pay. Have them put the groceries onto the checkout counter, hand them things to put into your cart....

amother

Seagreen

Wed, Sep 07 2016, 9:08 pm

Wow thanks so much for the supportive replies. My 2 year old started out sitting in the cart but I took her out to try on shoes and it was all quickly downhill from there...when they're on their own they do behave better but my 5 yo kh has tons of energy even on his own and when they are together they encourage each other and feed off each other's energy. I don't notice it so much at home, I guess because it's normal. But in a mostly quiet store it was so embarrassing that they were clearly out of control. I was so upset that my heart was pumping with stress even after dh took them out. Makes sense that taking them more often will teach them how to behave but all I can think of right now is NEVER AGAIN! Lol

gold21

Wed, Sep 07 2016, 10:27 pm

amother wrote:

Lol, I will do anything to avoid grocery shopping with kids in tow! Order online, go late at night, leave kids with household help (I've had my cleaning lady for a number of years and she's a mom herself, she's great with kids BH)....

Kids in store.... Always running whining asking fighting... Confused

So I try to avoid that scenario Tongue Out

asp40

Thu, Sep 08 2016, 6:20 am

I think you need to keep trying. I always took my kids shopping or else it would never get done. They sat in the cart as long as they could fit (I only shopped at the stores with the carts that fit three kids). I brought a snack and a drink and they were fine. Once they started walking they had to hold the cart. If they didn't, then I held onto them. With many small children this is the only way. And yes, they had tins of energy but with structure and rules it was fine. Sure sometimes we had to leave the store and try again later. But eventually everyone learned to behave.

I'm not judging those who have kids who don't behave in the stores. We've all been there with meltdowns and tantrums. Every parent and child goes through that. But to me, that is much different than children running through the aisles. To me that shows a lack of discipline on the parents part. It's the parents job to teach the kids appropriate behavior.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Sep 08 2016, 6:44 am

2yo goes in the cart, 5yo wears a harness tied to the cart. Problem solved. Let people stare, at least you'll have your sanity intact.

Another option is to find a woman without kids, or who has older kids in school, who needs a ride to the store. Give her a ride, and in exchange for gas money, have her help you manage your little ones. An older woman, like a bubbe, can be a huge help.

I don't drive, and I often went shopping with a friend of mine. Having me along to entertain the kids while we did our shopping together was the magic combination, and it was SO helpful for me to not have to take the bus.