Tantrums of my 4 yo in the morning

amother

Periwinkle

Mon, Sep 12 2016, 12:43 pm

I'm blessed with a great kid B"H and I think I need to work on my patience but I'm wondering if I'm being too strict and also looking for good tips for responding to tantrums...

One of DD's tantrums before school usually involve what she is wearing. I don't want to negotiate with her and so I don't. She almost never gets to change the outfit I picked out for her to wear. She usually cries for a bit, sometimes tells me she doesn't like me... gets over it after 5 or 10 minutes (but that's too much precious time in the morning.)

Then there are a bunch of other little things like I just didn't say something she wanted me to say, etc. She resents being rushed to be ready for school, resents being pushed to finish breakfast, and will just start to cry over little things. I often kind of brush over the tantrum, try to not respond, and then occasionally my annoyance comes out and I yell, which only scares her.

Am I being too strict with the outfits? I don't want a whole production and negotiation going on every morning.

Any tips on how to respond to the tantrums in general when time is limited in the mornings? Do I need to acknowledge them better?

At school she is a great kid and well-adjusted. I wish she wouldn't have to leave the house every morning having cried two or three times. Also I don't like that my toddler witnesses these behaviors..
DH is so much better than me with this but he isn't around in the AM.

bookie

Mon, Sep 12 2016, 12:46 pm

My girls have been choosing their own clothes since they were three. They know to pick season appropriate clothing, and since all their skirts are blue black etc.. Everything matches. I personally do not feel that is something you should be fighting over.

gibberish

Mon, Sep 12 2016, 1:00 pm

Instead of figuring out how to deal with the tantrums when you are pressed for time every morning, why don't you figure out how to avoid the tantrums in the first place?

--For example, I would have the child pick out her own clothing together with you the night before. Letting her pick out her own clothing helps foster her feeling of independence. You can give her a choice every day of 3 different outfits that she can choose.

--Have her help you set up breakfast the night before after clearing up from dinner

--Try to do as much as you can the day before to avoid morning rushes which are usually a recipe for a tantrum

Good luck!!