Help. Hypersensitive to my kids' noise and it's ruining me

amother

Green

Sun, Sep 11 2016, 6:26 pm

I live in a very small apartment so I can't get away from the yelling, fighting and loudness. I believe that I'm oversensitive to it - to the point where that's one of the reasons I won't have more kids. They are kids - they can't just shut up and be quiet all the time, but the constant noise drives me absolutely crazy - stresses me out - and sometimes I yell to please be quiet! Help me cope with normal kid noise. And no - DH can't really take over because he works crazy hours on top of having health conditions.

SRB

Sun, Sep 11 2016, 6:31 pm

Are they old enough where you can go in a different room and close the door, maybe use ear plugs when you feel yourself getting stressed out? Can they play outside? Can you encourage quieter activities periodically, like art or reading, games? I know it depends on the kids. My DS prefers to be physically active or bang on drums. What are you doing now?

amother

Green

Sun, Sep 11 2016, 6:38 pm

SRB wrote:

I have a TINY apartment. I can't send them out unless I go with them. The little one can't handle quiet activities for more than like 10 minutes. DH uses our bedroom as an office and one of them runs in screaming "MOMMY" every ten seconds because of something the other one did.

As far as right now, they are superficially quiet because they know they will get a prize in 10 minutes after completing a behavior chart.

amother

Green

Sun, Sep 11 2016, 7:00 pm

[quote="debsey"]There is a condition called misophonia - oversensitivity to noise. There is treatment for it. See if you can access help in your area.[/quote

I really think this is me. I can't stand my husband snoring either, or the sound of chewing. Will look into it.

amother

Fuchsia

Sun, Sep 11 2016, 8:59 pm

My husband is the same as you. My kids know not to scream and make noise next to him. But I'm home mostly with the kids so it's less a problem. Dh sleeps with ear noise cancelling devise that looks like big earphone over his ears and a cloth over his eyes. He can't be in shul during megila because of the noise. I know it doesn't help but I'm just sharing. Dh doesn't have misophonia. He is sensitive to all noises to to specific ones.

Emotional

Sun, Sep 11 2016, 9:36 pm

debsey wrote:

There is a condition called misophonia - oversensitivity to noise. There is treatment for it. See if you can access help in your area.

I believe I have this problem as well. It seems to go together with an inability to block out background noise, for example if you're trying to talk to me in a noisy room I seem to be the only one having a hard time hearing you - what should be background noise seems to overpower everything else.
Where does one even begin to look for treatment? An OT?

amother

Dodgerblue

Sun, Sep 11 2016, 9:47 pm

DH is the same way and honestly. . . I wish I had realized earlier on how difficult and destructive to his relationship with the kids it would be. I don't think him having this condition is compatible with having more than 2 kids.

I understand that it is physically painful for him when children are noisy and/or we call from one room to the other and we try not to do the latter but children 5 and under have a hard time modulating their voices and . . . he yells at them (unfairly I believe) about it too much Sad

Expensive ear plugs ($150, from an ent/audiologist office) help him to some extent but the truth is that as time goes on (and he gets older maybe?) he has less and less tolerance for it.

I'll be following this thread. . .

debsey

Sun, Sep 11 2016, 9:49 pm

Emotional wrote:

I only know this because I work with healthcare compliance - I'm not a treatment professional. In NJ, there is a place that does this. Their staff seems to be audiologists, psychologists, and neurofeedback technicians. Google it, there are a few places nationwide that offer this treatment.

amother

Green

Sun, Sep 11 2016, 10:03 pm

debsey wrote:

Thank you.

amother

Green

Sun, Sep 11 2016, 10:04 pm

amother wrote:

This is heartbreaking. I hope I'm not that mom. I try not to yell but sometimes I do if the kids are fighting with each other.

I'm wondering if something as simple has having a glass of wine might help me?

Emotional

Sun, Sep 11 2016, 10:11 pm

debsey wrote:

Thanks Debsey Wink

kelsorino

Mon, Sep 12 2016, 2:03 pm

Op- I feel your pain!!!! I am in the same situation. Tiny apartment and there is no where to go. Its like a sensory overload that I just shut down and sometimes just scream as loud as I can to block out all the noise. When the AC is on its even worse. One of my children has a sensory integration disorder that causes him to overload (presumably the same thing that I have) and he is treated with OT. I often brush myself down with his sensory brush, perhaps that would help? A weighted blanket? If you find any solutions please let us know!!

amother

Green

Mon, Sep 12 2016, 2:43 pm

kelsorino wrote:

The only solution I can come up with so far is wine. 🍷 I'll let you know how that goes. I'm not really a drinker.

seeker

Tue, Sep 13 2016, 12:33 am

I'm the same way, only I'm sensory all over and not just to noise.

One thing that I have found helpful (when I actually follow through with doing it) is therapeutic music. It helps train your sound processing to be less reactive. It's supposed to help with other things as well but this is one of the main areas that I actually see a difference.

If you PM me I'll tell you more about a low-cost listening therapy program I love. I have a referral link and I don't want to get called out for promoting it out loud here. But in all honesty I love this program and have been personally helped by it, or I wouldn't be recommending it.