Help me help my child

amother

Black

Tue, Sep 13 2016, 11:10 am

My 8 year old girl is not as my other kids. Her behavior cause problems to herself, in school to classmates and teachers and at home to the entire family. She doesn't act up every day or week but when she is it's full blown. So I'll describe her here.
She is a neat organized kid, everything gets a perfect spot.
She is not the loud kid in the classroom and shy when meeting friends on the street.
She is the type to be the teacher only when playing with friends.
She is very sensitive . Both , for what people comment her and to touch and feel. Particular with food and clothing.
She doesn't have trust to anyone and thinks she can manage things her own.
She's a cool lier to get out of trouble.
She doesn't do much effort in trying physically to accomplish things. Like opening up or strong seal something. She blames that it's too hard after the first try and needs a lot of courage.
She gets stressed, or however it's called at this age, over anything not going easily and perfect.
When she acts up, usually when something unexpectedly wrong she is not in her mind and acts very wild. Then, after she calms down, she feels awful how she acted and continues being silly until she gets to herself.

amother

Black

Tue, Sep 13 2016, 12:16 pm

Sensory issues would be a typical diagnose. What concerns me most are not her sensitivity but the way she acts out when it caughts her up. This happens not that often but then acts very not herself. Could this also have to do with being sensory?

amother

Gray

Tue, Sep 13 2016, 12:42 pm

YES. I am pretty sure it is her acting out from sensory stimuli that she can't process and after trying to suppress her reactions for a while she gets too frustrated and acts out. DD7 fits 90% of your description. we saw an OT for a few months and now dd can sense what is bothering her, try to express it and to solve the problem, and she knows when she is on the verge of a (total out of character) tantrum and has tools to regulate herself.

musicmom

Tue, Sep 13 2016, 1:02 pm

I wouldn't have guessed any of that but I am a music teacher and think outside the box. I have 550 students so I am around kids.

Your daughter needs a way to express her emotions appropriately. After she blows up and feels bad have a quiet conversation with her.

When she is happy try and talk to her, read to her, play with her and spend time with her so she will be comfortable and come to you if anything is bothering her.

Tell her stories about different people and situations to illustrate the differences between the truth and lies.

Try to teach her an instrument or give her a space to do artwork so she has another appropriate way to express herself non-verbally when she gets upset.

Perfectionists eventually learn that life is not perfect and how to handle frustrations, but this is great because she will have high goals and expectations of herself and achieve great things.