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If your child asked you what rape means?



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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Wed, Sep 14 2016, 3:21 pm
If your child asked you what rape means- what would you say?

eta: the "prepare your daughters" thread got me thinking.

I remember the word came up as a kid in school, because someone got raped. Kids went home to ask their parents what it meant.. and I think the parents evaded the question or answered soemthing vaguely.
I would like to know what other immothers would say
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amother
Peach


 

Post Wed, Sep 14 2016, 3:26 pm
How old is the child in question? Do they already know what s-x is?
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Miri7




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 14 2016, 3:29 pm
It depends a lot on the age of the child and the context of where they heard the word. If the child was very young, I would say it's a specific type of physical attack.

If the child knows about zex, then I would say it's when one person forces another person to have zex. I am generally very matter of fact about these things and just answer the question asked. Your child may have a lot of follow up questions, or not.

There is a video I saw about consent that I really liked:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8

But it's really for older children and gets more into what consent means. IMO most kids who are headed off to college (or while in high school) should see this. It may be less relevant for sheltered frum kids who aren't engaging in premarital relations.
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amother
Plum


 

Post Wed, Sep 14 2016, 3:33 pm
Funnily I clearly remember asking my mom when I was about 9/10. We drove past a fence that had rape sprayed in graffiti on it and I asked her! She asked me do you know what s*x is? I did and she explained that rape is when a man forces a lady to have s*x with him. I didn't expect that that was what rape meant and was quite surprised I remember!! I didn't ask her anything more then.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Wed, Sep 14 2016, 3:34 pm
Miri7 wrote:
It depends a lot on the age of the child and the context of where they heard the word. If the child was very young, I would say it's a specific type of physical attack.

If the child knows about zex, then I would say it's when one person forces another person to have zex. I am generally very matter of fact about these things and just answer the question asked. Your child may have a lot of follow up questions, or not.



I like that. I know matter of fact is the way to go, sometimes I need someone else to put it into simple words for me Smile

thank you
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momX4




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 14 2016, 4:10 pm
amother wrote:
If your child asked you what rape means- what would you say?

eta: the "prepare your daughters" thread got me thinking.

I remember the word came up as a kid in school, because someone got raped. Kids went home to ask their parents what it meant.. and I think the parents evaded the question or answered soemthing vaguely.
I would like to know what other immothers would say


I clearly remember asking my mother what rape means. (I was around 10,11) She told me it means "when someone hurts a female badly". I was satisfied with that answer.
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amother
Violet


 

Post Wed, Sep 14 2016, 5:02 pm
I remember playing scrabble with my mom and brother, and my brother put down the word "rape". I asked what it meant and my mother told him he either had to explain it to me or change the world. He changed it to "reap" and that was the end of that. Of course, I later looked it up in the dictionary, the same way I had looked up "sx" and a myriad of other things no one ever discussed with me.
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amother
Jetblack


 

Post Wed, Sep 14 2016, 5:25 pm
amother wrote:
If your child asked you what rape means- what would you say?

eta: the "prepare your daughters" thread got me thinking.

I remember the word came up as a kid in school, because someone got raped. Kids went home to ask their parents what it meant.. and I think the parents evaded the question or answered soemthing vaguely.
I would like to know what other immothers would say


I would tell (and have told) them the truth. I also asked where they heard the word. In my DC's case it was from another classmate who had read about it in a magazine. I think it's important to find out why they are asking and to be candid with them.
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Wed, Sep 14 2016, 5:29 pm
for a child who doesn't know about sx I would say "it is a type of inappropriate touch" (assuming you have already educated them on molestation, they should get what you mean and know you are not talking about a brother punching his sibling.) For one that does know about sx, I would say "forcing someone to have sx."
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