An observation about two recent threads

BayMom

Thu, Sep 15 2016, 12:51 pm

Jeanette wrote:

I don't know anything about this particular situation. But in general, raising money even for a worthy cause is hard. There's never enough tzedaka funds to go around, so I doubt there are many living large on tzedaka.

Part of the problem is that if someone is unemployed due to disability, the govt wil provide basic expenses, so tzedaka funds can go to extras (which in themselves may not cost that much). If you are working and paying taxes, you may end up with the same or less disposable income than someone on govt programs.

Not knowing the nature of this persons disability and toll on the family, regular cleaning help may be warranted. Not quite seeing a justification for tzedaka money for expensive clothes.

There's a possibility that someone donates new clothes to them directly, say, once or twice a year.

ora_43

Thu, Sep 15 2016, 3:26 pm

Chayalle wrote:

And there are families out there who value this kind of lifestyle and commitment, and they are able and willing to support that. They make donations to Yeshivos, Kollelim, and other organizations to support those who are willing to live a lifestyle that they value.

What's the problem?

I thought OP of the other thread was very clear.

The problem is when people don't say "this man has chosen to learn Torah rather than work, and I choose to support his lifestyle," but rather, "nebach, this man can't afford [chicken for Shabbas/a band at his wedding/an apartment for his ninth kid], we are all obligated to support this needy brother of ours." IOW when no distinction whatsoever is made between choosing a certain lifestyle, and being extremely poor for no apparent reason.

And the main problem with that is that young people can end up completely clueless as to the connection between financial planning, paid work, and not being poor. (Of course, many are being actively taught that there is no connection, which is another story.)

Chayalle

Thu, Sep 15 2016, 3:57 pm

I certainly agree that before anyone gives out tzedaka money, they should check the situation and decide if that is something they want to support. I get calls all the time for donations to everything from the Republican Party, the Vietnam War Veterans, and various frum organizations. It's my job to check out whether it's something I want to support.

However it can be difficult to get to the bottom of a situation. If someone comes collecting for his 9th child's wedding, he might not tell you if the reason he needs money is because he has chosen to dedicate his life to Torah....or he's really an alcoholic whose family is suffering...or he's mentally ill and can't work...or he has somehow never managed to run a successful business......so sometimes we just look at the face value of it and say, okay, I'll give this guy a few bucks because he looks so obviously pitiful...or no, without additional information I'm not going to support this.

It's definitely our obligation to try to ensure that our money support someone legit....and our prerogative to decide the values we want to perpetuate with our money......

amother

Papaya

Thu, Sep 15 2016, 8:40 pm

SAHM might need more help than working mom. I have 2 friends with children the same age.The working mom comes home feeds her kids fast food and the kids go to sleep. The mom always needs more help she home with two her older children are not out for so many hours. The moral of this thread is don't try to put yourself in others shoes or life every situation is different

pause

Thu, Sep 15 2016, 9:52 pm

amother wrote:

huh?