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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Is it wrong to call a teacher on erev shabbos



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amother
Lime


 

Post Fri, Sep 16 2016, 2:36 pm
Dd's teacher called to touch base one evening about a week ago. My schedule happens to be beyond hectic right now. I had one evening available and she didn't pick up the phone so I want to try again. My next evening that won't be crazy is in over a week. Dd is in a regular class but has some mild special needs so I really want to check in closer to the beginning of the year.

How bad would it be to call her now? Is this in the category of "she can just say no if it's not a good time" or is it rude and inconsiderate?

Teacher is married and frum, not sure if she has kids but my guess is probably yes.
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lucky14




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 16 2016, 2:40 pm
I personally would not. She may feel like it would be rude to say no even if it is really inconvenient. I'd only call on a Friday afternoon if I was told that was a good time to call.
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 16 2016, 2:41 pm
My kid has school today both hebrew and english studies until 2 so I might call up to an hour after dismissal.
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Miri7




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 16 2016, 2:44 pm
Can you email? Or text? "Say, I realize this is probably the worst time to call, but on the off chance you have 10 minutes, I'd love to chat today. If not, let's talk x date at x time. It's the first evening I have free. So sorry to bother you erev shabbos".
You never know - she may have a 30 minute car ride during which she could talk.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Fri, Sep 16 2016, 3:26 pm
Ah well, just checking. I may be able to find some time Wednesday night. I work all day and don't want to call when the kids are home and awake and listening in. And she didn't give an email address, and the phone number is a landline (I know because I tried texting just in case, and got a message that it wouldn't go through)
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 16 2016, 3:32 pm
I work all day too. I usually find it easiest to talk in the middle of the day. I either call at lunch time or take a break and go outside for a bit. I find as long as I dont abuse the privilege my boss is fine with it. It is less distracting and DS cant overhear. The rebbe this year asked to be called at the school and the English teacher gave a cell phone number she was adamant we dont call at home.
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 16 2016, 3:40 pm
For something not urgent, I would consider it extremely innappropriate to call on a Friday afternoon.
Especially as the clock is getting earlier and the Friday's are still ending late.
Why can't you call on Sunday?
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amother
Beige


 

Post Fri, Sep 16 2016, 4:33 pm
I dont think so, esp if its not urgent
A parent one time called me literally 35 minutes before candle lighting to yell at me.
I couldn't believe her audacity.
I was in the worst mood the whole shabbos.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 16 2016, 6:04 pm
I don't see what the problem could be with calling and if she answers saying " is now a good time to speak for you?". Not everyone is a crazy mess on Friday. I actually find Friday afternoon to be one of my least busy nights because I do all my cooking Thursday night. I don't see what the issue is with calling. She doesn't have to answer her phone nor does she have to say she is available to speak.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 16 2016, 6:05 pm
Don't do it. Very inconsiderate and rude. It's erev Shabbos for her, too. Not to mention that if you want the teacher's full attention and the time that your question deserves, Friday afternoon is decidedly not the time to get it. So you'd be shooting yourself in the foot.
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cm




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 16 2016, 6:31 pm
How about sending a note to school Monday morning with good times for her to reach you?
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amother
Lime


 

Post Sat, Sep 17 2016, 11:18 pm
Sending a note to school is a good idea. I'll try that. She did give out her phone number to call but didn't say when is good and it doesn't accept texts, so it's a little awkward.

Amother, sounds like you got the obnoxious parent who's the reason many teachers don't give their number out at all! But there's a difference between a half hour before Shabbos, and 2pm on a day when Shabbos starts close to 7.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Sun, Sep 18 2016, 4:38 am
As for not wanting the kids to hear, what I do is sit with the cellphone in the car with the windows shut.
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MamaBear




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 18 2016, 9:14 am
How long can this conversation take? 15 minutes? Surely any evening can accommodate that if it's important. I usually have these talks in the bathroom, a closet or outside, for privacy.
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