Awkward situation--wwyd?

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Sep 18 2016, 11:38 am

(Not really sure where to put this)
Was just in a Jewish pharmacy, we had just come from the bank where my 3 kids (5, 4, toddler) had just got the traditional lollipop from the bank. It was my turn to pay and suddenly I see my 1 year-old (not in the stroller) holding a lollipop. Thinking she took it from the display I took it out of her hand and told her "No!" She was upset. Then to my right I see an older man (most likely russian) taking lollipops out of the display of lollipop container and giving my older kids. Right in front of the cashier (who was giving him change for his purchase moments before). I was confused, I don't know if he paid for them.I was not super thrilled that he gave them a lollipop without asking me, but I really wasn't ready to deal with the tantrum and I just wanted to go home. WWYD?

tweety1

Sun, Sep 18 2016, 11:42 am

Weird situation to be in. Maybe after the guy leaves ask the cashier if it was paid for and if not pay it.

sushi galore

Sun, Sep 18 2016, 11:51 am

I think I would ask the guy if he's aware that these lollies area for sale and not free to just give out randomly. And ask him if he paid for them because you would prefer he ask you in advance. A) they just had lollies. B) who said I want to pay for them and I don't like strangers paying for my kids' things.

imasinger

Sun, Sep 18 2016, 11:57 am

I would tell him "you're so kind, but they just had lollipops at the bank, and it's not good for them."

And if he insisted, I would say to the kids, "wow, this nice man got you a Shabbos treat, how lucky! Mommy will put them away till Shabbos. One for Shoimie, one for Brachie, one for Baby."

Assume he paid for them. Why wouldn't he? But if you're worried, ask the cashier.

seeker

Sun, Sep 18 2016, 12:24 pm

This looks like a good teachable moment for "we don't accept things from strangers."

Though my kids go bonkers over candy so I'm not sure exactly what I'd say in this situation. Maybe that if they do the right thing then I'll buy them something equivalent to save for Shabbos.

Simple1

Sun, Sep 18 2016, 12:49 pm

Some pharmacies have free lollies for the kids - like your bank. So maybe it doesn't need to be paid for.

Still I agree with your discomfort of strangers giving candies, even though he might have been well-meaning and trying to be sweet.

observer

Sun, Sep 18 2016, 12:59 pm

I would be VERY disturbed by a stranger giving my kids lollies or any food for that matter, for a few reasons:

1. How would he know if they have food allergies?
2. He is not aware of ages and choking hazards.
3. Goes against what we teach our kids about stranger safety.
4. You just don't do that without asking the parent.

This is so so wrong, besides for the issue of whether he paid for it.

I'm sure he was well meaning, but still...

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