no makeup...ever? | Imamother

Teomima

Sat, Sep 17 2016, 4:21 pm

amother wrote:

It's great if you are beautiful naturally. Its great if you are fine looking less than your best every day and feel confident.

I take offense to this. I don't wear makeup. Can't be bothered. I have more important things to do with my time. Nor am I "naturally beautiful." But there's no need to say I'm looking "less than my best." By that logic, anyone who steps out the door in anything less than designer clothing, draped in diamonds and furs, is looking less than their best.

amother

Ginger

Sat, Sep 17 2016, 9:03 pm

Teomima wrote:

do you look better in make up? if the answer is no, then no, you do not look less than your best. most people admit that they look better with make up. It is not a judgement, it is an observation. can everyone look even better if they do even more? sure. but make up is common enough that it is standard for a hefty part of the population, whereas furs and diamonds are not. No need to be offended, I am just stating a reality. If you choose not to wear it, I don't care, but it is a fact for most people that they do look better with some make up.

amother

Ginger

Sun, Sep 18 2016, 9:23 am

amother wrote:

Ginger amother - I will dare to tell you that you look beautiful naturally. Your DH sees you without make-up and I am sure he loves what he sees. It's great you enjoy make up for yourself, but I wish you could appreciate yourself without it.

You have never seen me before, so that means you think every single woman on the planet is beautiful naturally. You assume my husband loves what he sees. It happens to be that he does, but that is a ridiculous thing to assume since many women are not fortunate to have husbands that think this. I don't think every woman on the planet is beautiful. I think there are about 10% exceptionally beautiful people, 10% below average people, and 80% that look fine but look great with a little enhancement. (if someone chooses NOT to enhance themselves, that's fine, but I personally like to). I fall in the 80%, and when I wear make up I do feel beautiful. I don't think self esteem means talking yourself into something false--that you are one of the 10% exceptionally beautiful people naturally, or even that you look wonderful even with your acne/extra flab/whatever else you are insecure about. Rather, a healthy body image is knowing where you fall (probably the 80% that looks fine and has some good features but not the prettiest person on the planet) and being ok with that because you have plenty of other qualities that are important and that beauty is not the be-all-end-all.

So why do it at all (make up or other enhancements? There is a reality in the world that appreciates beauty. People treat you different when you look put together. In all women settings especially, it is hard to get to a place where you do not care at all about looks since almost everyone around you will. If you put in zero effort when everyone else is putting in a lot, you stick out. Maybe that is not something you care about, but for me it is. I am less social when I look less put together.

I think almost every woman has work to do with their self-image and self-esteem. But, I don't think you can make a blanket statement that every woman is naturally beautiful, that people who don't wear make up look better, or that people that don't wear make up are more confident. People are complex. Ok, so I am insecure about my acne and wear make up and you are insecure that your husband is rude so you don't have guests over.

amother

Blue

Sun, Sep 18 2016, 12:33 pm

amother wrote:

I think you might be getting me muddled up with another amother as I never said either that my husband is rude or that I don't have guests over? The only thing I feel insecure about is writing with my true SN on imamother because my experience so far is that the women on here are not very kind.

You say above that your husband loves what he sees on you so IMHO, I am correct in saying that you are beautiful as you are, despite my never meeting you because only his opinion matters.

amother

Ginger

Sun, Sep 18 2016, 12:42 pm

I wasn't saying you husband is rude, I was giving an example of something someone might be insecure about that doesn't have to do with looks. Everyone has some insecurities and compensates. Some people are scared of small talk and only go to weddings if they have a buddy with them. Some people are insecure of their brains so they don't raise their hands in class. Some people are insecure of their home-making skills and clean frantically whenever they have friends coming over. Some people don't like their complexion and wear foundation. My point is that everyone does it, even if it isn't through make up. And it doesn't help to tell the people above "you are the best socialize ever, you don't need to be insecure!" or "you are the cleanest person ever, you don't have to clean before people come!" That is called false flattery, and delusional thinking. My point was that becoming confident means accepting your good inner attributes and accepting that you are not perfect, no one is, and that is ok. And if some people feel better compensating here and there, who cares, we all do it!

My point about my husband was not whether or not you were right. My point was that I could have been anybody, and some people's husband's do NOT think their wives are attractive.

amother

Blue

Sun, Sep 18 2016, 12:42 pm

amother wrote:

Even if I do look better in make up, my DH doesn't like it so I wouldn't feel inclined to wear it anyway. My skin is better off with foundation and I am happy to go bare.

amother

Blue

Sun, Sep 18 2016, 12:44 pm

amother wrote:

I wasn't saying you husband is rude, I was giving an example of something someone might be insecure about that doesn't have to do with looks. Everyone has some insecurities and compensates.

My point about my husband was not whether or not you were right. My point was that I could have been anybody, and some people's husband's do NOT think their wives are attractive.

Ok, thanks for clarifying. It makes sense that you were using an example in that context. If a DH doesn't find his DW attractive, surely that would make for a miserable marriage? Wearing make up to me doesn't change this because the DH will always see his DW without make up at some point. It is us, other women, who would see the DW with make up.

amother

Ginger

Sun, Sep 18 2016, 12:52 pm

amother wrote:

1. Yes some people have miserable marriages.

2. if a wife is less-than-very-attractive for a half an hour a day, I don't think that would turn a man off. (I am not talking about someone who is ugly as a troll--and truthfully I can't think of a single person I would describe that way. I am talking about average women.)

I have a friend who's husband wants her to always be wearing real jewelry, a glamorous shaitle, make up, and a fancy outfit with heals. She is pretty without any of that, in just a sweatshirt. Sure, he sees her in a snood and sweatshirt and thinks that is fine. It doesn't change his preference that she dress up most of the time.

BatZion

Sun, Sep 18 2016, 5:17 pm

Um, ladies? Just an observation- there are a handful of level-headed, pleasant replies to this thread. There are way too many replies that are overly-emotional from women who have taken offence and nit-picked other replies.
Let's keep it civil hey?
You like make-up, you can't stand it- can we all say these things without causing offence or getting deeply, deeply offended?! See, I'm just not sure it's a subject that's worth the time and effort of getting offended/causing offence...
On topic- never wore it as a teenager, don't wear it now approaching thirty, apart from random flings with mascara...

boysrus

Sun, Sep 18 2016, 5:30 pm

BatZion wrote:

Um, ladies? Just an observation- there are a handful of level-headed, pleasant replies to this thread. There are way to many replies that are overly-emotional from women who have taken offence and nit-picked other replies.
Let's keep it civil hey?
You like make-up, you can't stand it- can we all say these things without causing offence or getting deeply, deeply offended?! See, I'm just not sure it's a subject that's worth the time and effort of getting offended/causing offence...
On topic- never wore it as a teenager, don't wear it now approaching thirty, apart from random flings with mascara...

Hey, I like this response, you say it as it is Smile

you are right, its not something worth getting so stressed about...

Raisin

Sun, Sep 18 2016, 5:47 pm

I think if you get really excellent foundation it will not look cakey.

At this point in my life I definitely need to wear SOME makeup not to look washed out and tired, wheras at 21 I could get away without any.

I only wear a full face of makeup friday night and for social events. For everyday I might wear lipstick, mineral powder makeup, blush and maybe eye make up if I have time, but that is not so necessary.

I used to wear contact lenses and eye makeup irritated me. Now I don't wear them so I am enjoying wearing eye makeup.

greenfire

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 6:56 am

ginger amother wrote:

Greenie with green hair: you of all people should understand that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and that women do whatever makes them happy and confident. For some that is green hair, and for others is it "caked on makeup." Is repeatedly dying your hair healthy for your natural hair? Can natural grey hair be beautiful? Point is, sometimes something somewhat damaging to your body makes you happy, so who cares! I am not saying every woman should wear make up, not at all--do whatever you want, I honestly do not care. But if I want to go glam glam every day, don't give me a speech that I am making my problem worse. It makes me happy and I am sure there are things you do that are technically messing with your beauty--eating chocolate, using products with chemicals etc etc.

It's great if you are beautiful naturally. Its great if you are fine looking less than your best every day and feel confident. What does that have to do with me? And don't tell me I look beautiful naturally, I know that isn't true.

first off you are directly being rude to me as 'amother' ... own up & say it to my face

how does this become a controversial topic where we have to defend ourselves ?!

what does my hair have anything to do with people calling those of us who don't wear makeup ugly & do I have to explain my hair dye [again] or that I am a naturalist & believe going grey is just fine or that my one-time FUN colour streak is not a permanent tattoo - do I have to tell you that I purposely did it to protest those that think I should dye my hair brown

mama & all my sisters wear makeup as do two/thirds of my beautiful daughters ... it is difficult to comprehend why I have to be like them to be considered beautiful [especially sensitive after a family wedding where people kept telling me that I will look like a clown because I cannot wear shoes, don't like glitter and dazzle on ostentatious floor length dresses & makeup ... & yet I especially value the beauty of others - but why do I have to be self-conscious for being myself]

I never told you what to do & to add insult to injury you insinuate that I am fat from eating chocolate ~ w t f

I'd rather be beautiful from the inside-out ~ just sayin'