Tips on dealing with a tantruming 18 mo old

amother

Lavender

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 10:56 am

she is 18 months and im not sure what she understands but I am literally going crazy. she screams for hours if she doesnt get what she wants. I want to train her to understand that that is not acceptable but I dont know when to start- is she too young? do you have any tips on what to do to try to teach her that screaming is not the way to get what you want?

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 11:31 am

From my experience she understand a lot. And learning also what will manipulate and what won't.
Stay cool calm collected and sweet.
Pick her up . put her in her crib. "Sweetie when you are happy and calm we can continue our activities." Leave her there until she's calm and HAPPY. If she's giving you a headache or stress close the door gently. You know when your kid is fully happy. That might be singing talking playing whatever. Its fine if it takes twenty minutes half hour.
You've taught her how to take time out to come back to herself. Now we can be with people.
Kids this age don't need a discussion of what's best. They dont have the cognitive tools for that and it makes them more insecure. They need a reliable adult to support and guide them firmly and lovingly when they cant. This will give her security.

Had a number of kids who did this.I regretted deeply the ones I was not the reliable mom for in above manner. Because I was doing mother guilt instead. They had a much more challenging time socially and with authority in preschool and first grade.
Hatzlacha. And just love your little character.

amother

Lavender

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 1:01 pm

amother wrote:

so I should leave her in her crib until she stops screaming? what if she wont calm down by herself?

5*Mom

Tue, Sep 20 2016, 2:36 pm

amother wrote:

so I should leave her in her crib until she stops screaming? what if she wont calm down by herself?

No. No, you should not. An 18 mo is a baby. Frustration and negative feelings can be overwhelming at that age. As a parent, you will need to say no sometimes but she will need your comfort and support to learn how to get past the disappointment of a no. Don't leave her when she tantrums. Don't be intimidated by a tantrum. It's ok if she cries. It's a normal human reaction to disappointment and frustration. You don't have to give in and change your no to a yes but you should stay with her and comfort her. Let her have her tantrum and just be with her. She might want to be held, or not. Either way, she needs you close.